My ZZTop Makeover Bill is in Collections

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So last year I was having a tough time at work. My attractive female boss was giving me all the scutwork, because this slimy ass-kisser guy with slicked back hair was stealing the credit for all my work and making me look bad.

I was about to get fired, because I couldn’t figure out how to make the boss notice the quality work I was doing, and I didn’t know how to confront the ass-kisser.

Well, as I was leaving work this guy in a long beard appeared in a white light.

“Are you Jesus?” I asked.

He just handed me this key on a cool silver fob and disapeared.

Still startled from this, I was even further stunned when this red hot rod pulled into the parking lot, and I was unceremoniously kidnapped by these three vampy sluts.

It’s hard to reconstruct what happened next. My therapist says that I blocked out the trauma of the long instumental montage scene.

When I came to I had new sunglasses, haircut, suit, attitude, dancing skills, and a case of the crabs (though I didn’t find that out for two weeks.)

The vampy sluts conducted me to an office meeting and proceeded to entrap the sleazebag coworker into an instance of actionable sexual harassment, while my dancing skills enhanced a dull power point presentation to the point where we signed a multi-million dollar client and I received accolades and a new office, all this in another 45 second montage.

So far, so good.

Now though, I’ve gotten a bill for $4,500 and I don’t think I oughtta pay it as I considered their services to be gratis and I certainly didn’t contract for anything (least of all the crabs.)

Their lawyer is maintaining that acceptace of the terms is implied by my entering the Eliminator.

I pointed out that I had been stunned by the Jesus figure and kidnapped by the vampy sluts and did not enter of my own free will.

It’s gotten ugly. They’ve threatened me with a montage season with the fat rednecks in the monster truck.

I’m wondering if anybody else out there has been through this and can offer me advice. I checked the Web for ZZTop legal aid, but found nothing helpful.

Thanks in advance.

2

Let them hit you with the redneck montage. It’s not so bad: just bring a case of beer and learn a few good bar jokes, and you’ll be fine.

3

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time that happened to me.

4

Pay 'em. Before you get stuck as one of the models in Simply Irresistable. Trust me, the services were worth it, man.

You got dancin skills now. You can serve people.

5

I hate it when that happens.
Don’t let it go to court. Those vampy sluts really know how to impress a judge and jury. If it does go to court, you only chance is to have the case heard by Judge Judy.

6

Scylla: You should know by now that soliciting legal help here at the Dope is not a good Idea. Go find an entertainment Lawyer and counter sue ZZTop for using you in a video without recompense.
Then write a book of your harrowing experience and do a tour of the stupid and insipid daytime TV circuit.

Good Luck,
Jim {IANAL}

7

Oh, get over it, you big baby!

(I always wanted to post that, tho usually in more seriously whiny threads.) :smiley:

8

You could point out to the judge that they were, in fact, very cheap sunglasses.

You could also be thankful for not having the mental trauma you would have had to endure had they hijacked you to an orbiting carwash and been scrubbed down by disembodied hands.

9

Without a signed contract I would argue the ZZTop keychain and Vampy accessories were, in fact, a gift. I would also consider a counter-suit and attempt to collect for your pain and suffering (you did save your RID receipts yeah?)

If you don’t remember that night, I suspect ZZRohypnol was used.