I work in a call center of a company that manufactures and distributes consumer products. The products generally carry a warranty of one or three years, and the company honors the warranty quite readily. The process for taking advantage of the warranty is as follows:
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Speak with a Technical Support representative. The TSR will create an incident report number and attempt to walk the end-user through some processes and procedures intended to bring the problematic product back to full operation. At the end of the call, the TSR assigns a digital tag to the Status Field of the incident report. If the problem has been resolved, the incident report is tagged “Resolved,” and any further calls about the product will require the creation of a new incident report. If the TSR provides steps that may or may not lead to resolution, but the end-user is unable to attempt these steps right away, the report is tagged “Solution Provided,” and further activity will depend on whether the end-user calls back with further problems. If the product is determined to be defective, the TSR has two options for the tagging of the report: a product that is so new that it can still be returned to the store the user bought it from will be tagged “Point of Purchase.” Otherwise, the Status Field will be tagged “RMA.” If an end-user is provided with an incident report number that is tagged “RMA,” he can proceed to step 2.
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Go to a page that the company provides on the Internet, and submit the incident report number. This takes the user to an application form to fill out with contact and shipping information, as well as some of the specifics of the product being returned (serial number, purchase date, purchase point, etc.). When this information has been entered and confirmed, the user is offered a choice of sending the product to us for evaluation and replacement, or obtaining an advance replacement, predicated on the user’s promise to return the defective product within a certain timeframe (this promise secured by the submission of a valid credit card number).
The process is straightforward and reasonably workable, when every step is followed to the letter. However, it is anything but intuitive, and a significant percentage of the users who enter the process require assistance in getting through it. That is what we do in the call center I work in, provide assistance to the customers who, for whatever reason, find themselves in need of it.
Sometimes the customer can’t find the site (it doesn’t use www. in the address). Some customers can’t move beyond the data entry page (many browsers are incompatible with the site). Some customers find themselves confused by descriptions of the options they are offered. Sometimes the TSR enters the wrong tag in the incident report. Sometimes the TSR assigns a “Point of Purchase” recommendation, and the customer doesn’t get around to using it until after the return window has closed, and needs it upgraded. Sometimes the customer is just too stupid to make it through the process unaided. In all of these cases, given a customer with a valid warranty, it is our job in this call center to assist the customer to the desired goal of a Returned Merchandise Authorization. One thing is certain, in the case of each customer: the fact that he (or she) is talking to this call center means that he (or she) has gone as far as he (or she) can get on his (or her) own. EVERY customer who calls us is doing so with some level of frustration.
Rant follows:
HEY! STUPID COW-ORKER!!! It doesn’t matter why the customer didn’t take the product back to the point of purchase! The corrective action is still the same! Send him back to Tech Support to have his incident report status field upgraded! the only thing you’re going to accomplish by asking him that, especially in the accusatory tone of voice that seems to be your default speech pattern, is you’re going to make him think our company is staffed by assholes who get their jollies from scolding people and making them feel dumb.
HEY! STUPID COW-ORKER!!! It doesn’t matter why the customer waited until three weeks had gone by before shipping the defective product back! She just gave you a tracking number that proves it arrived on our loading dock in time to avoid the fund capture from her credit card! Yes, if she had gotten it in a week earlier, the Receiving Department would have had it opened and logged back into the database in plenty of time to release the authorization on time, but that isn’t the issue! The issue is that she fulfilled the terms of the agreement we offered her, and the corrective action is to have the manager cancel the charge immediately! You demanding why she made use of her entire return window isn’t going to accomplish anything except to put her on the defensive, and maybe plant a seed of doubt in her mind as to our intention to refund the money at all!
I can’t believe you, STUPID COW-ORKER! Are you never the customer in an interaction with a Customer Service Department? Would you put up with the kind of treatment you hand out on a daily basis to our customers? I am privileged to hear your half of tens of conversations every day; of the twelve people in this call center, NOBODY warns customers as often as you do that they are in danger of being hung up on. And you know how may people besides you I’ve heard the following quote out of?
Zero, that’s how many.
Is this merely an astounding coincidence that has YOU getting ALL of the calls with surly, combative, hostile customers? Somehow, I don’t think so. I think the real issue is that you are a defensive, controlling, tiny-brained jackass, who has some kind of death-wish as far as the future of this call center is concerned. But don’t worry. We’ll work around it.