This thread title makes me laugh every time I see it, which, me being sick, sounds like, “Ehhh…”
But thanks for the laugh!
Not salmonella. Troutella.
Well, at least he went to the right place, it was “Bob’s Adventure Store”, after all. Quite an adventure for all concerned, I would think.
I don’t know if this guy was crazy. All right, let’s think about what has happened here. A shoe store, why would he pick a shoe store to attack? They smell nice in there, don’t they? And shoes aren’t supposed to smell nice! Am I the only one who has ever been struck by how UNNATURAL it is to have a room full of shoes and they all smell GOOD? And here he has the trout, and he’s already naked, the only logical thing to do was take it in there and try to stink the place up. It all makes perfect sense to me. That salesman was injured because he got in the way of the universe trying to correct itself.
W00t! I made it to threadspotting! 
… and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
… and Bob’s your uncle.
Granted, naked shoppers are an unusual tackle for trout to be sure, but sometime seine just isn’t an option.
What’s so strange about this? This sort of thing happens in Internet chat rooms all the time.
He hit with a sucker punch. They caught him with a left hook. He eeled over. It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless.
[sub]Homage to Wet Dreams by Kip Addotta[/sub]
So he knew that something was fishy about the guy right from the start, eh?
Everyone seems to have interpreted the story that way, but it’s not what the story says. If the sentence had read “in his hand he held a raw trout, out of which he occasionally took a bite,” then yes, that would mean he bit the trout. But the actual sentence, “he was holding a raw trout in his hand, out of which he occasionally took a bite,” means he bit his own hand.
Well, excuuuuse me, for my abysmal English. I would’ve thought that the context would relay the message, even though grammatically it may not have been fully correct. Maybe the Dutch original will clarify the missing bits more clearly for you.