No One Works at McDonald’s Syndrome. Teenage characters never get part-time jobs at McD’s or Burger King (although I’m sure product placement and licensing are part of the reason); they always get jobs at places like Happy Harry’s House 'O Hot Dogs or Billy Bob’s Burger Barn. The uniform is always utterly ridiculous, with a large hat related to the type of food they sell. If it’s a hot dog place, they need a big foam hot dog that looks like it has impaled them through the head, if it’s a burger place, they’ll wear a big foam hamburger on their head.
Or they’ll rip off Fast Times at Ridgemont High and dress like a pirate to sell seafood, complete with a huge pirate hat and a fake parrot on their shoulder.
Chimps: Cuter than Puppies, but Easier to Control- there’s nothing at all difficult about handling a chimp- they’re perfectly behaved animals who are just like really hairy babies and whose facial expressions all mean just exactly the same as human expressions. They’re never easily spooked little masturbating pint-sized whirling dirvishes of destruction with the strength of several men as some of the uninformed would view them. This is why they were household pets on Beverly Hillbillies and figured in the plots of many other sitcoms (*Family Matters, Step by Step, Head of the Class, *etc.) with main characters taking care of them without any need for a trainer.
Funny story, actually—When Ted Danson guest starred on Frasier, he mentioned that he remembered Frasier saying that his father was a scientist, and that he was dead. Frasier grumbled—with Martin in the room—that they’d just had a big fight on the phone back then and Martin hung up on him, so he was making up stories out of spite.
Also known (courtesy of Mystery Science Theater) as PLOT POINT RADIO. “Hey, put the radio on! Put it on the Plot Point station!”
Nitpick: It was Becky #2, Sarah Chalke, not Becky 1.
Two more:
We’ve Got to Fix Up the House!- Someone, usually unchaperoned kids, are (A) at home alone, (B) visiting someone, or © house sitting and the house gets trashed and/or something gets broken. In a frantic rush to clean up the mess or fix the broken item before they are discovered (e.g.- coffee table), much zaniness ensues. The unsuspecting owner/parent returns to find the house cleaned (often just in the nick of time). Generally, their scheme will be foiled by an obvious overlooked item.
Stupid With Super Glue- Any time super glue is used to fix a broken object, the user will be stuck to something or someone.
Who Are You Trying to Call?
One character will call someone on the phone who is quite familiar with them - a spouse or SO or parent. They’ll say, “Hi, it’s me… Jane… Jane Smith!”
Used too many times to mention.
Which reminds me of:
You Must Really Run Up the Phone Bill Talking Like That- The syndrome where a person using a phone repeats everything the person on the other line says (for the benefit of the viewer). E.G.- “What’s that? You say you are going to the movies? Which one? (silence) Gone With the Wind. That’s an excellent film. Who is going with you? (silence) Eric, Steve and Susan make for excellent company!”
And the corrollary: When they call a business, they have to repeat the business name so we know who they’ve just called.
“Hmm, maybe I’ll order a pizza.”
dials phone
“Hi, Tony’s Pizzaria? I’d like to order two extra large…”
Who does that?
Has anybody mentioned the Perfectly Timed Television/Radio Broadcast Phenomenon?
Anytime something concerning the characters of a sit-com is broadcast on television or the radio (especially news broadcasts), it will always begin the instant they turn on the television/radio. Sometimes the news announcer will even pause so that one character can go round up other characters to hear the rest of the broadcast. The characters will also always turn off the television the instant the portion relevant to their characters is concluded.
It has been mentioned, but there is also the sub-rule:
All news reports are said twice - This way, someone off camera can call up our sitcom family and tell them to turn to channel 3 because something crazy is happening, and when they do turn to channel 3, rather than be in the middle of the report the off-camera person is watching, thery will sdtart right again from the beginning.
As a huge Married…with Children fan, I’ve just loved going through this thread and seeing how that show demonstrated or used or parodied all of these as it slogged through ten years. It had a good example of Dio’s Perfectly Timed Television/Radio Broadcast Phenomenon in the episode that began the arc for David Garrison’s character Steve to leave his wife and the series: Marcy and Al were commiserating in a bar over how Steve had lost his greed and yuppiedom and drive since he lost his job at the bank when the bartender, for no reason whatsoever, told them, “Hey, look at this!” and a newscast started right then showing Steve being arrested.* When that particular story was finished, the bartender obligingly turned off the set so that Marcy and Al could chat again. And of course, the WOO WOO WOO syndrome was there in droves towards the end. They also had the Unseen Character of Peg’s mother, voiced by veteran Broadway star Kathleen Freeman, the Scrooge and It’s a Wonderful Life episodes, the escape to Vegas, the musical turns by Peg (and one time, Kelly, as the Juggs), excuses for them to all stay in the same house as the kids reached 20s, neighbors strolling in (Steve at least always knocked), the increasing number of B-list stars as Special Guests, etc. Marcy slowly became rather insane as Kelly became dumber, too. And they knew the cliches too and sometimes they became plot points; I remember one episode where Al figured out that he actually brought home less than five cents an hour and wondered out loud how the hell he lived on it, but then decided to “leave that question to historians.”
Also a few more cliches that haven’t been mentioned yet:
Look, Look, We’re Making Fun of Our Own Network, Oooh Edgy! Occasionally Al would turn onto something on Fox, sneer, and change the channel, bad shows were always on Fox (‘Naturally!’ remarked Peg) and of course there was the immortal call “Fox viewing positions!” and the family members would grab wires, coat hangers, etc. and hold onto each other and the furniture to see what was often a high-UHF station in those mostly pre-cable days. NewsRadio also did this, although more in the promos than in the shows–I remember one where they were racing around a giant calendar like chess pieces to mock how pre-empted and moved around the poor show was.
There’s Always a Place for You Here, Buddy Producers Ron Leavitt and Michael Moye (called ‘The Guys’ loved to re-use people they liked from previous shows they’d done. The cross-pollination between MWC and It’s Your Move is a perfect example, with Garrison himself moving from star to co-star with a character based sometimes too closely on his real self, and guest star/recurring actors Garrett Morris, Ernie Sabella, Geoff Scott, and Tricia Cast coming over too.
Both these shows also exhibited Damn Network Suits! problems, too. Everybody knows about the notorious Lost Show of MWC, ‘I’ll See You in Court’, which Fox censors downright butchered until Leavitt and Moye withdrew it in disgust (I didn’t see it until I got a samizdat version with Flemish subtitles from a Belgian friend in 1998). IYM was thrown irretrievably off-course when the network, under pressure from teachers and parens, told The Guys to let scheming teenage Matt be caught by his Mom and reform, which of course ditched the entire premise of the show.
Are They Still in the House or What? Steve/Jefferson and Marcy barge into house (esp. Jefferson). Hilarity ensues until the Bundys finish talking to them, talk to each other, resolve on some wrong-headed course of action, and then rush out of the house, presumably leaving the couple just standing around like lampposts or on the couch mutely. Turns out when I finally saw uncut shows that a lot of exit lines were cut in syndication, although there was one show where Bearse and Garrison just sat there and started canoodling, ignoring the dialogue that was ignoring them.
Where did That Talent Go? Jefferson once made enough in the stock market to buy matching Jags for him and Marcy, but for the next three years he was always hard up for cash, and this was during the dot.com boom.
Best Friends 4eva! Scheming (but secretly sweet) Matthew Burton had a fat sweet loser friend named Eli. Matt used people and spit them out, and was a mover and shaker in the high school scene in which popularity is all, but for no reason we know stayed steadfast to bumbling Eli and never sold him out or ditched him for a more strategicaly useful friend.
- Garrison said in a special that when he left the show in 1990 to go back to the stage (he’s worked quite steadily since) The Guys gave him a blow-up of Steve’s mugshot from this episode, with the caption “Gotta sing, gotta dance, gotta fucking starve to death!” Awwww.
Foreigners Are Funny or Watch the Foreigner Get Used to Our Crazy American Ways: A lot of times these characters’s lines will begin, "In my country"and tell a weird backwards story… Examples: Latka from Taxi, Balki from Perfect Strangers.
Speaking of foreigners: What country are you from anyways?–No foreigner is ever from a recognizable country. Most of them are from “Eastern Europe” or “South America,” but it’s never more specific than that. One notable exception: The Coneheads came from France.
Also speaking of foreigners:
The I Speak That Language! Syndrome.
The characters will meet up with a foreigner who doesn’t speak English and one of the ‘gang’ will claim to speak his language. He or she will converse with said foreigner, and then turn to his friends and say, “I either told him what needed to be said or I told him he has a chicken in his pants.” Much hilarity ensues.
I GIVE IT SIX MONTHS syndrome: No sitcom wedding will go off as planned. Grooms will be nearly seduced, brides will get cold feet, old boyfriends will come back in town, and limos will break down. Even though some of the difficulties are minor, the person they’re happening to will be sure that it will cause his bride (usually) to call off the wedding.
HE HAS THE MILKMAN’S EYES syndrome: If a family has more than one child, at least two of them will be complete opposites even though they have the same parents and were raised together. (Alex & Mallory Keaton, Bart & Lisa Simpson, Carol & Mike Seaver, Becky & Darlene Conner, etc.) Usually this will be manifested in intelligence, although in the fourth season the show will reveal that the dumb sibling just isn’t applying himself.
–Cliffy
That was part of the joke. Also, it’s very possible for Blackadder to experience events that are 21 years apart; just that they happened in the same “season” doesn’t mean they happened in the same year.
Now, Xena is another story. She met virtually every important historical figure from 1000 BC to 500 AD.
Elyse Keaton on Family Ties is also an example of a rare phenomenon, the Main Character Switcheroo, when the main character of a show actually changes from one star to another over the course of the show:
The Family Ties, the main character was originally Elyse Keaton; of course, it soon become Alex P. Keaton (Michael J. Fox.)
In The Simpsons, the main character was originally Bart Simpson; it eventually became Homer Simpson.
Also know as “The Cybill Shepherd Syndrome.”
Winning is for Losers - One of the children will have a (often previously unmentioned) talent (and often one that would require constant practice that they will never be seen doing) which puts them in a position to be a high achiever. After a string of easy victories the parents and/or child find themselves increasingly stressed out. Just before or during the State Finals/ City Championship/ Olympic Games etc., it is finally revealed that they never really cared for doing this that much. The parents are always immediately relieved and/or understanding, and the child doesn’t want to try and finish it off even after so much effort. They probably go for ice cream. You’re only going to have that incredible talent for a half an hour, take advantage of it, kids! (cf. Where did that talent go?)
Corollary : Time Flies When You’re Winning - The episode often encompasses an entire season — weeks of time — during which absolutely nothing else exciting happens in the family. (or at most, one other storyline occurs).
Offenders : The only episode of According to Jim I’ve seen featured parents who lied to each other in order to avoid taking their daughter to spelling bees, and were overjoyed at the revelation she didn’t want to be there, despite the fact that she had a good shot at winning the state finals.