I think this is an IMHO question, but if there actually is one correct answer mods please move me to GQ thank you!
I got married about 2 years ago and am finally getting around to dealing with the name change. I’m going to take my husband’s last name but I’m unsure what to do about my middle name.
Assuming that my given name before marriage was Firstname Middlename Maidenname, which is more correct to use now: Firstname Middlename Marriedname or Firstname Maidenname Marriedname?
Tried Emily Post and Miss Manners and places like theknot with no luck on a conclusive answer. I’m thinking someone here must know, Eve perhaps?
I always use First Middle Married, unless I’m in a situation of having to remind someone that they used to know me, or that this is my name now. Then I use First Maiden Married. But legally (taxes, Social Security, driver’s license) I’m strictly First Middle Married
Interesting. I can see using Firstname Maidenname Marriedname, but that doesn’t take into account the middle name at all.
I changed mine simply from Suzette Maidenname to Suzette Marriedname. (Suzette Marie Mariedname, actually) I dropped my maiden name entirely. You don’t have to do that- I could have made it Suzette Marie Maidenname Marriedname, but that is just REALLY long and who wants to write all that?
For what it’s worth, I’ve never even heard of people dropping their middle name and replacing it with their maiden name. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with that, but I’ve only personally seen three options:
First Middle Married
First Middle Maiden-Married
First Middle Maiden (just never changed it)
And then there was one case that I knew where the husband took the wife’s last name.
Well, I did. And the only reason was that they all wouldn’t fit on my driver’s license.
I wanted to be First Middle Maiden Married.
No hyphenating, I just wanted all of them as my name, and what is on the DL is pretty much your legal name.
My maiden and married last names are both 8 letters, and my given first name is 9 letters (Elizabeth), and that hit the limit, so my boring middle name (Anne) got the axe.
On my DL it’s First Maiden Married, but if someone asked for my full name, I’d include my Middle name as well.
On the checkbook, I’m First M. (maiden inital) Married.
yes, my maiden name is now my middle name, legally. Just as if it were Mary or Jane or Anne.
It’s not as if I completely have eliminated my former middle name from my life. I never ever used it and I just thought it looked ridiculous to have such a long name on legal papers.
In my head, I am still (first name, middle name, last name) and that’s really all that matters. That and the fact that my mom still calls me by my full name (first name middle name) when she’s irate.
I like my maiden name because its short and unusual and it’s what I go by artistically.
Could be… I am First Middle Married, and my stepmother got all snarky about it. She completely believes in making your maiden the middle. I must also point out my maiden name is horrible and I am quite fond of my middle name - Elizabeth.
It may be an American thing, because my family (British) are all First Middle Marrieds also.
Or, I know someone who uses slightly different variations depending on the circumstances:
First, Middle, Maiden
First, Middle, Husband’s Last
First, Middle, Maiden-Husband’s Last
For things that are ‘hers’, she uses F/M/M.
For things that are ‘joint’, she sues F/M/M-HL (This is the one on her DL, if I remember correctly.)
For things that are primarily ‘his’, but she needs her name on it, F/M/HL or F/M/M-HL.
Works great for weeding out junk mail and telemarketer calls. (“May I speak to Mr. MaidenName?” Sorry, there’s no such person!)
I’m thinking if I ever get married, I may just tack on my husband’s last name and watch the poor computers the DMV and whatnot uses blow up. (The # of letters I have: 7, 9, 9, 7.) It’s more out of sheer perversion than anything else on my part.
According to my mother (many years ago when I asked her), the correct form is First Maiden Married. (That’s what she used.) I also waited to change my name, as you are. After we had a child I got tired of explaining to everything that I was actually the child’s mother. My maiden name is pretty weird, so I use First Middle Married. Now I’m divorced and I still keep that name, it’s a lot easier to pronounce and spell.
Legally, I’m all 4: First Middle Maiden Married, but my first and maiden are short. For the most part, though, I go by First Middle Married (most forms one has to fill out don’t have room for 4 names). I figure I have a brother and male cousins; the “family name” isn’t likely to get lost.
When I get home tonight, I’m-a checking my Miss Manners books!
I’m First/Middle/Married. FTR, I’m 32. When I wanna be goofy, I’m First/Middle/Confirmation Name/Maiden/Married. All of which, legally, I am. I just don’t need to use all of them all the time. I DO use my middle name or initial almost all the time, and I’d hate to lose it - it flows nicely when I sign.
My friends and I are split here - we’re about half Middle/Married and half Maiden/Married. And one friend, a doctor, uses her Maiden name professionally and her Married name socially. Since she and her husband are both pediatricians in the same hospital, it would get a little wacky for them to both be “Dr. Marriedname”.
Huh. I always assumed that a woman who took her husband’s last name replaced her maiden name with his last name, and that “Mrs. Amy Johnson Scott” or something was just what she said socially to, say, identify her to people who knew her before she was married or to whom she wanted to point out which family she came from. It always made me think of 19th-century England (Jane Austen et al).
I think my mom is First Middle Married, legally, because that’s what she signs everything as. Some people call her First Middle Maiden Married because it has a cute ring to it in her case. At any rate, she never had to change anything that she had marked with her initials prior to marriage, because her initials are still the same (same first letter of both last names).
I’ve always assumed I’ll be Nenya_Elizabeth Married when I get married. At least that’s what I’ll go by. It might be cool to be Nenya_Elizabeth Maiden Married legally, though. Actually, scratch that…unless I get a really crappy married last name, I think it’s about time I lost the current name (no offense to my dad or anything, it’s just that people make all kinds of jokes about it…)
