It took me a long time to think of something because we have so many overlapping interests.
Certain bands, I guess. Some of my favorite songs/bands are tolerable to him, but he doesn’t feel the passion like I do. Live, Chevelle, Deftones, Rush, he just doesn’t feel them.
It bothers me a little, but only a little, because there are plenty of other bands we are both passionate about.
His thing is comic books, especially X-Men. I am an enthusiast of both of those things, but he’s downright obsessive, to the point of ok let’s talk about something else now for the love of Og please.
Really we have a lot of common interests so we experience very little of that dissonance.
I wouldn’t expect her to. OTOH, she did tell me to stay to the end of the 6th game of the 1986 World Series when I was ready to turn it off and go to bed.
My wife has no interest in video games or pen ‘n’ paper role-playing games. I’ve been irked on the rare occasion that she told me to skip my scheduled game-playing time to do something I consider boring and pointless, but occasional compromise comes with the package.
There are things that I like that she’s kinda “meh” about, but I wouldn’t say she has NO interest in them because she knows I like them. Maybe anime? I used to watch it/pay attention to it much more than I do now, but I know that she has literally zero interest in it. When the new Dragon Ball Z movie came to theaters I went to it by myself because I just knew she wouldn’t care at all.
On the other hand, she is very good with me on other nerdy stuff. She seems reasonably interested when I talk about video games and can name my favorite ones*. She went to a comic con with me one time (and had fun too!). She volunteered to see the new Godzilla with me last night, but I basically talked her out of it.
OTOH, I have absolutely, positively ZERO interest in her goddamn “Real Housewives of…” shows. I hate those stupid things and I can barely stand when they’re on in the background, much less actually watch that crap!
*My favorite observation is when a new Assassin’s Creed game comes out. They crank these things out every 6 months it seems, and even she turns to me and says “didn’t they just make one of those?”
I love to read and do it as much as possible. My husband doesn’t care for it. He’ll go to the library with me and wait outside. I do think it’s odd that he never so much as asks me what I’m reading, but it doesn’t bother me.
He likes to work and accomplish things. I will keep my eyes open while he monologues on the advantages of one cell phone plan over another or some shit, but that’s all I can do.
Halloween. I don’t celebrate any other day but I really get into Halloween. He’d let me dress him up, though he wouldn’t contribute in any way. Just completely without any interest. It really got to the point of upsetting me and is probably a (minor) reason we broke up.
Computer games: I love 'em. Wife simply does not ‘get’ them, and does not understand the inconvenience of ‘coming downstairs for just a minute’ at a particular moment while one is engrossed in the midst of a real-time game.
I hope I don’t offend you, but through which kinds of idioms, so to speak, did you connect and fall in love with each other? Music can be one of the most powerful means by which to do so.
The above is such an astonishing thing to say about a married couple that I felt like I had to chime in and ask. I (single and never married) simply cannot imagine marrying someone who not only doesn’t share my musical tastes [e.g. my currently playing], but has no musical touchstones of her own, at all.
I’m pretty passionate about basketball, moderately interested in baseball, have no working knowledge of hockey, and loathe football. My ex-wife grew up outside of Pittsburgh, so she loves football, loves hockey, is moderately interested in baseball, and hates basketball.
It eventually became a problem. Not the problem, but certainly a problem.
FWIW I have zero interest in music myself. I mean, I have a handful of bands that I listen to, and I’ll put on headphones and play music if I need to concentrate at work (also a good “don’t bug me” sign) but I literally couldn’t tell you the last time I played music in my car or at home.
To answer your question from the standpoint of Ms. Cups and I. She isn’t huge into music herself so we bonded over, you know, other things. We both like sports and root for the same teams, we watch TV together, we watch and attend wrestling shows together, we’ll play games and see movies.
There’s a big world of entertainment out there and music just isn’t one of mine
Also, if you’re curious as to what we listen to in the car on roadtrips or whatever…podcasts are a great lil invention
I couldn’t think of anything, until I read Sir T-Cups’ response.
Old time radio programs. I download them from archive.org and listen while I drive. She doesn’t complain, and I don’t think she really dislikes them, but she usually falls asleep when I play them.
I find documentaries, museums and even video games related to aviation and trains to be really interesting. She…doesn’t. But she tolerates my interest (and was even encouraging when I had my brief stint with flying lessons), and I couldn’t possibly ask for more than that.
Skiing, Cycling, Racquetball, Hiking. My sports interests. That’s Okay – I can do these on my own. I’ve taken our daughter MilliCal skiing, and she cycles, too.
Watching Sports, Technology, Craft Beers (she likes beer, but stays with the wheat beers 9 times out of 10). The latter is easy to co-exist with as, well, we can order different beers and I have other friends I can go to beer festivals with - and as long I don’t drive home drunk, she’s ok with that. My passion for tech was a bit of an issue (for her) early one as she kept being a bit flabbergasted that I’d spend so much on the newest thing - but she realized that really if I wanted to spend my money on these things, it shouldn’t be an issue (though at times I thinks she silently judges ;)). As for sports, in a 2 bdrm apt with only 1 TV, it can be an issue - but mostly because she may want to watch something else or spend time watching something together rather than an important game. It doesn’t bother me that she isn’t into sports, though I do wish there was one sport she enjoyed watching (well, that I enjoy as well) so we could share that.
I love to watch curling; she loves to watch baseball. She loves classical music; I guess I like it well enough, but she obviously gets more out of it. I am still fascinated by mathematics; she is just not into abstract reasoning like that. She is a fan of George Elliot and keeps rereading Middlemarch.
These differences don’t bother either of us. Not after 51 years.
But she tolerates my interest (and was even encouraging when I had my brief stint with flying lessons), and I couldn’t possibly ask for more than that.