I am 100% with you on this. I have an odd first and last name. Consequently, I had to endure a childhood full of teasing. Hell, even as an adult I find myself rolling my eyes at the occasional snicker when people hear my name.
It’s neither fun, nor fair. You want to make a stand against the ignorant masses? Change your own freaking name, then. Don’t use your kid as some sort of “lesson.” You can teach your kid to be independent and tolerant without making them into a walking billboard for whatever enlightened message you would like to convey to society. It’s just a crap thing to do to your kid.
Here in the mid-South, you will sometimes see obits of older women with the names of Jimmie + one syllable middle name. This goes for Johnnie and Willie and I’ve even seen a Freddie or two. My WAG is that they were “junior”. They are almost always spelled with the -ie ending.
We also have older men (and I’ve worked with a few) named Dorris and Florence. Dorris is always spelled with two rs. I believe that at one point, they were considered boys’ names.
There is no way in hell I would give up my Indian names (first or last) to satisfy someone’s theoretical bigotry. This is ridiculous-I don’t feel like I need to anglicize my name or my kid’s names to be an American, nor do I need to do something like change it to “Anna Karn” because there’s a hypothetical bigot partner at a law firm somewhere that dislikes Indian people. FTR, that dude is probably seriously old and being attended to by a physician named “Patel” anyway.
The only downside to my ethnic name is that recruiters have sometimes admitted that they don’t know whether I’m male or female before I come in for the interview because my legal name is sort of obscure even in India (along the lines of being named “Mildred” in South Asia).
All that said, I wouldn’t name a kid something like Shital/Sheetal (outside India) and since my legal name is pronounced differently than it looks, I’d probably go with something easier on the American palate, like “Dev” or “Krishna” if I ever had kids.
If your ethnic name spells out something naughty/disgusting in your country of residence, then yeah, exercise some judgment. Anglicizing your name just because people hate your ethnicity? What-the-f*ck-ever. No one is ever ever ever going to mistake me for being a Wasp, and attempting to aspire to it is feels ludicrous.
I don’t think anyone here has been criticizing ethnic names, save for the Mercedes and Candida posts. Most people are taking issue with names that have nothing to do with ones ethnicity.
Actually, Anne Neville did suggest checking all the languages of the area you live in to make sure they “don’t mean anything bad” and to avoid all names with “poo” in them. I did have a friend in my high school math class named Pooja, which is an Indian name meaning “worship”, and a classmate at Radcliffe whose first name was Dung. So anu-la1979 has a point. It would be ridiculous to assume little Poonam’s parents should give up the name because some jerk of a sixth grader is all over the potty humour potential.
Otherwise yes, most people don’t much care for the older out-of-fashion names like Prudence and Chastity, or the the coughing-up-hair ball names like Horace and Agatha.
Edit: Oh, dear. I just saw the name Prunella on a website. it means “little plum” and conjures an unfortunate combination ideas - Cruella DeVille and prune juice.
I think it changes the calculation some if it’s a traditional family name or a tradition from your culture. I think it’s OK to give your kids names with a “theme” if that’s a tradition from your culture, too. But people who don’t come from or live in such a culture shouldn’t adopt that practice. If it’s not your tradition, just something you’re doing because you want to, it just sounds like you’re trying too hard to be clever or cute.
I think it’s a bit pretentious to give your kid an unusual ethnic name from a culture you have no real connection to. If I gave my hypothetical kid a Russian name, it would be kind of silly- I’m not Russian, Mr. Neville’s not Russian, and nobody in our family has ever lived in Russia. If we gave our child a Hebrew name that was not common in English, though, that would be fine, since we are Jewish. If an Indian person names their kid Pooja, that’s fine. If two white-bread Americans with no serious ties to India or Hinduism do it just because they want an unusual name, it’s kind of pretentious.
If you want to give something a cutesy, clever, or exotic name, I suggest checking out your local animal shelter for a pet. Pets don’t suffer if they get teased about their names, don’t care if they hear the same jokes about their names day after day their entire lives, and don’t have to look for jobs. There are lots of pets there that need homes, and names.
Is the phrase ‘fight the power’ supposed to be some kind of mockery that would shame parents into not naming their kids those names? I don’t think it’s gonna work. I’ve known a few Shaniquas and more than a few Jamals, and I don’t think their parents were ‘fighting the power’ so much as indulging in their own brand spanking new culture* of being Black and free in America.
Let there be more and more Shaniquas, beautiful and smart and strong, and may they be the ones owning businesses that look at applications and judge them on the skill set of the applicant. May there be more and more Shaniquas and Shaquilles and Oprahs and Condeleezas and god please, no Rolexuses but maybe a few Deshawns. I hope they keep coming until it gets really awkward for us to judge folks by their names. Because while sharing a laugh over an obvious urban legend like Orangello is hilarious to me, hearing folks putting down a name like Jamal is making me cock a curious eyebrow. (the above paragraph should be read over the strains of We Shall Overcome)
*the culture is brand new compared to most cultures.
My first name is three letters long, extremely common, especially for the late 70s when I was born, isn’t ethnic, and doesn’t mean anything in another language. And I still had kids making it rhyme with stuff to tease me in school. This shit is totally inescapable, so you might as well give your kid a name that you like, and teach them how to use devastating sarcastic comebacks to tear down their tormentors instead. Or maybe that’s just my kids, but I thought I’d throw it out there as a suggestion.
I read this post to my husband as he was getting ready for work this morning… and now he wants our first son to be named Count Chocula. I’m fighting that.
Check out this article. It’s a list of honest to goodness odd, bizarre and unfortunate baby names. It’s from 2002… so let’s see, these kids are school aged now.
So how do you determine whether or not some white-bread American has ties to India? My architecture pro name his son Adrain, after the Roman emperor Hadrian. They boy was also baptized in the Pantheon. They have no Latin or Greek heritage. Their ties are academic and my prof had admired Hadrian’s influence on the history or architecture. Does that count or should the boy have a Welsh name instead?
I am Spanish-Scottish-German and a blend of other things. My name is Persian. It’s a name from antiquity and is found in Shakespeare. My parents chose it because they thought it sounded beautiful and didn’t feel compelled to be locked in to a rather narrow scope such as Spanish-looking girl = Spanish name.
Oh, how pretentious of them! I see, they should have gotten a cat instead.
One’s perception of a name can change just from knowing someone with the name.
When my wife’s sister was pregnant with her son, she and her husband narrowed their name choices down to “Matthew” and “Ayden.” I kept my mouth shut but I was secretly hoping for Matthew, since Ayden sounded so trendy, pretentious, and cloying.
Now that Ayden is almost 8, I don’t think any of those things about his name anymore. I just associate it with my cool little nephew.
Another story: My parents have been friends for many years with a couple named Cloyce and Eula. Terrific folks, but they are just as hillbilly as you might expect.
Loathe a name?? It’s like loathing a word, like “loathe” …
(Or like liking a word like like, or perhaps Like, the new line of shoes of those who “Just Loathe It”. Put on your Like loathers.)
I recently met a woman named Hortense. Hortensia is a pretty flower (more commonly known as Hydrangea), but, Hortense as a name for a woman?