So, what do y’all reckon the chances are that I could get Congress to proclaim a National Day of Pointing Out Biblical Contradictions? The NDPOBC would of course be entirely non-denominational. Naturally, I would like to schedule NDPOBC events primarily in churches; I presume no one would have any objections?
Can I be the first with a contradition to point out?
Pi = 3.
from http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/science.html
Buck, great idea, your National Day - especially scheduling the events in churches. Fair enough, considering.
So this would have to be Bipolar Disorder Day?
Strictly speaking, Masonite, this isn’t a contradiction – no part of it is logically inconsistent with any other – it is an “error”.
Nevertheless, in Sir Thomas Browne’s spirit of “covering the nakednesse of our Father’s misunderstandings with a cloake of Favorable Interpretation”, let me note that it is possible to measure the circumference of a circle as three times the diameter, thus giving you a value of circumference/diameter = 3. If you define “measure” as “walking off the distance using a pair of dividers”, then a set of dividers opened to a length equal to the radius of the circle can be “walked” around the perimeter in six exact steps. What you have done, of course, is to trace out the perimeter of an inscribed hexagon. Coopers used to use this method to determine the size of the piece of wood needed to cap a barrel – you used trial and error in setting the jaws of the dividers until you got exactly six steps. It’s no great leap of the imagination to see ancient Hebrew engineers or coopers doing the same thing. Note that this does not require you to assume that the circle IS a hexagon, as some have criticized.
A contradiction would be, for example, the mutually inconsistent accounts of Noah’s flood as given in the J and E versions, or the three different accounts of Saul’s conversion on the Road to Damascus.
Regarding the OP, I don’t think your chances of getting this through are very good.
What if we prayed really, really hard for it?
thud!
“Neeeeeigh!”
thud!
“Whinnny!”
thud!
“Snort . . . gasp . . . gaaaakkkkk . . .”
thud!
thud!
thud!
thud!
thud!
…I thought all the posts about spitting drinks all over the monitor were exaggerations!
It took me exactly 36 seconds to get that joke, andros. 
:: pats self on head and walks away whistling happily ::
I dunno… the Bible already has a whole week dedicated to it in November. But perhaps a “pointing out contradictions” party could be added to the festivities? Dennis McKimsey could be the guest of honor.
Here we go.
Lot’s of contradictions here.
Why, Andros, you sado-equin-necrophiliac! 
Yeah, but andros, it ain’t dead yet–they’re having a big legislatively-sponsored Christian prayer fest down at the state capitol this very day.
Here, have an easy one from my collection: What were Jesus’s last words?
Matt.27:46,50: “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?” that is to say, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” …Jesus, when he cried again with a loud voice, yielded u the ghost.”
Luke23:46: “And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, “Father, unto thy hands I commend my spirit:” and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.”
John19:30: “When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished:” and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.”
Try to post some of those contradictions at The Pizza Parlor. They’ll love ya for it!
Wow, great message board jab1. Too bad they don’t actually really discuss anything.
My favorite contradiction is whether I’m allowed to call somebody a fool:
Matthew 5:22
but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
1 Corinthians 15:35,36
But some man will say, How are the dead raised up? and with what body do they come?
Thou fool, that which thou sowest is not quickened, except it die:
Theres a verse in proverbs (someone help me out, I don’t carry my Bible around) that says
Whoever takes a bribe shall prosper.
It doesn’t go on to say this is a bad thing!
Hmmm…the only thing like that I can find in Proverbs are two verses which seem to advocate giving bribes:
“A bribe is a charm to the one who gives it; wherever he turns, he succeeds.” – Proverbs 17:8
“A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath.” – Proverbs 21:14
Takers of bribes don’t seem to get off as well:
“A wicked man accepts a bribe in secret to pervert the course of justice.” – Proverbs 17:23
It’s certainly odd.
Well, that’s just saying that bribes work. They do, don’t they? Unless you’re a Ohio representative.
ITR, yours isn’t a contradiction, it just indicates that Paul was in danger of hellfire, something which doesn’t come as a surprise to me.
–John
Well, I guess they do at that. It’s just oddly non-judgemental for, you know, the Bible. I mean, some might argue that “whacking” people works, too, but I wouldn’t expect to see a Bible verse that says “The wise man does unto others before they can do unto him, if you get our drift”.