Near miss titles for songs

We’ve had these for movies and books, but I don’t think we’ve done songs. (If I’m wrong, tell me next week :wink: )

These are the song titles we’ve never seen. Perhaps one of the early ideas for the title, or the one suggested by the record label but voted down, or perhaps the take-off by Weird Al that never got recorded.

Beatles near misses:
I Want To Hold Your Elbow
Back In The Soviet Union
The Long and Winding Motorway
Rocky Ferret

Or perhaps the neo-retro version being reprised tomorrow
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Website
With a Little Help from My Phone Five

Five Thousand Species of Variously Shaped Creatures Gathered Together in an Ark and Sailing with a Jew.

Why don’t we do it in the roadrunner.

The Huey Lewis solo - “No News is Good News”

Julio Inglesis’s “To All The Girls I Had A One Night Stand With Before”
Willie Nelsen’s “The Bald-Headed Stranger”
Kenny Rogers’s “The Member of Gambling Anonymus”

Stairway to Cleveland
Highway to Hell-o Operator, Give Me Number Nine
(Come on Baby) Light My Cigar
Dark Side of the M-O-O-N, That Spells Pink [album title]
Once Bitten, Twice Barfed

Eagles - Hotel North Dakota
Billy Joel - Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity Man
Whitney Houston - I Want To Sit on the Couch and Watch TV With Somebody


The Springsteen Near Miss Collection:

Born to Walk Briskly
Candy’s Mudroom
Fifth of July, Asbury Park (What Was Her Name Again?)
Eyes Adjusting to the Light
Yugo Ranch
Downbound Go-Cart
Hungry Pancreas
I Wanna Mooch Offa You
Jersey Jailbait
(“Mary Queen of Arkansas” sounds like a near miss as is!)

ABBA’s near miss:

Little Big Horn
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!(A Winning Lottery Ticket)
The Gay Dancing Queen
Does Your Wife Know That You’re Out?
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring

Billy Joel: Come Out Ya Virgin
Elton John: Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me :eek: :smiley:

Tennessee Ernie Ford’s near classic “31,999 Pounds”

Harry Chapin’s “(All My Life Is A)Quadralateral”

Simon & Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Calm Waters”

The Police: Every Time You Inhale
The Who: Dig-Dug Wizard
Eric Clapton: Tiers in Heaven
Lynyrd Skynyrd: Uncaged Bird

Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me with Social Studies”
Queen: “Yugoslavian Rhapsody”
Neil Young: “Oregano Girl”
Pink Floyd: “Careful with That Rake, Eugene”
Jethro Tull’s lament about getting the wrong answer in a newspaper puzzle: “Bungle in the Jumble”
…and that oft-bootlegged Rolling Stones outtake about lesbian acrobats: “Tumbling Dykes”

Prince, Misses and B-Sides (selections):

When Doves Crap
Soft And Infected
When You Were Nine
I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Hand
Diamonds And Pearl Necklaces
I Wanna Be Your Gardener
Do Math, Baby
Little Red Corolla
I Would Die 4 That Blueberry Cobbler
Purple Flurries
Erotic Suburb
How Come U Don’t Telegram Me Anymore?
4 The Crust In Your Eyes

Wow… two wonderfully obscure Floyd references. In that vein, how about:

Obscured by Some Dude with too much Hair

There was Willie Nelson’s–On the Couch Again
Patsy Cline’s–Jogging After Midnight
And the country music classic by Hank Williams Sr. was almost know as–I’m so lonesome I could shit

Don’t forget those great Kansas hits: Get the hell out you prodigal spawn and Dirt on the Ground.

And then there’s the smash hit by Boston about the male sex drive: Quick Screw/Bed time

Neil Peart of Rush usually gets lots of admiration for his lyrics. Little does anyone know that he always runs his ideas by his brother Earl before he shares his lyrics with the rest of the band. Earl isn’t shy about telling Neil that his ideas are, well, less than optimal. Thanks to Earl Peart, we’ve been spared such monstrosities as:

Spirit of the Toaster
The Shrubbery
Canada Day
Beige Barchetta

On the other hand, we might have had an improvement with Griffith Park. At least ice cream melting in the rain would have made a little more sense, doncha think?

And for anyone who’d like to get that earworm out of their head, I suggest they run and get Maynard Ferguson’s horn instrumental of that song-that-must-not-be-named. MF does a great job of putting passion into that otherwise very stupid song.

Beatles: “Lady Louise Ciccone Ritchie”

Might Get Fooled Again