daHubby gets socks and underwear for his Xmas because he’s hard as hell on socks and I usually get him really good ones for wearing under his boots. I also get him 100% cotton hankies because he has allergies and the difference between pure cotton and anything else is really evident to him.
I don’t mind “necessities” as gifts myself.
It all depends on the recipient, the giver, and their relationship. Saying it’s always bad is as sterotypically-wrong as saying it’s always good.
I always get socks.
Not just any socks, TOE socks. I love them.
I always ask for not too expensive kitchen stuff too. The one I really really really want this year? A popcorn hot air popper.
Being not exactly flush, most of my money at this time of year is spent on my son to make his Christmas good, so essentials like socks and pjs make me happy. Not underwear though, I like to pick out my own tyvm.
This is what I came in here to say. A friend of mine is working on her grandmother’s gift box right now - cans of coffee, laundry and dish detergent, nice letter paper and envelopes, stamps…stuff like that. She does it every year and her grandmother loves it. Grandmother is on a small fixed income and this helps stretch it, with the happy benefit that when she does laundry or dishes she thinks of her granddaughter!
However, if my Secret Santa at work gave me underwear or shampoo I think I would be weirded out.
[hijack]
A few years back when I was working for a vet, the owner of the clinic drew my name as my Secret Santa. At our Christmas dinner/party, I took the wrappings off my gift to reveal a Victoria’s Secret box. I blushed redder than my hair and the whole place was watching to see what our crazy boss had gotten me. I opened it to discover a sweatshirt from my favorite hockey team. whew
[/hijack]
As the first responder to the thread, twickster couldn’t have been asking about the male to female ratio of the responders here on the SDMB.
Plus, we were basically talking knee-jerk reactions to such a gift. The answer to something like this will pretty much always be “it depends” if you start adding in extra layers like poor people, traditions, folks who want nothing more than to add to their hanes underwear collection, and so on.
It’s my favorite kind of present to receive! A big bag-o-socks, a set of sheets, a case of my usual coffee filters…that just delights me. My sisters even know that I love used kitchen stuff from yard sales, the cheaper they get it, the better. Once I was ooh-ing and ahh-ing over a couple mismatched water glasses my sister got me (they’re from about 1961), when she sidled up to me and whispered, “I got the pair for 10 cents”. Best present I got that year!
The first Christmas after my husband split from his wife, one of his kids got him towels and sheets for Christmas. Since the wife had taken all of these things, they were much appreciated.
I’ve bought socks for my daughter, but they were cute socks.
We’ve given fruit baskets to elderly relatives and gas cards and movie passes to grandkids.
To whom? From whom? Under what circumstances?
I can see some circumstances where it would be fine. (The giftee’s favorite brand is only sold at a store that’s out of the giftee’s way; the giftee considers the item to be a luxury, and only buys it on special occasions; the giftee is saving up for the item and has been for a while). And also, some of the more practical gifts are better given from close family members than distant family or friends.
But if the giftee can and probably will really pick it up at their next trip to Safeway, it gets closer to questionable.
After all, that’s what a lump of coal was when Santa left it in the stockings of bad boys & girls. A very practical, useful gift - just not fun.
Socks always make me think of my Grandmother. She was known for going overboard with the Christmas gifts. One year my cousin (male, teenaged) eagerly opened her gift to him and found a 10 pack of socks. Not even fancy socks, just the tube socks that come 10 to a pack for $6. He was polite about it, saying, “Oh, socks. Thanks.”
Grandma told him to look more closely at the socks. The package had been carefully cut open and resealed. Just peeking out of each pair was a $20 bill. “Oh! Socks!” became a running family joke after that.
On the other hand, it got a little old after the fifth year or so.
My husband claims to like practical gifts as money was always tight growing up and frivolous spending makes him uncomfortable. I tend to buy him clothes along with the fun things mostly because he won’t buy things for himself. However, this year he has mentioned a desire for a PlayStation in none too subtle ways.
Every single year for ten years now I’ve got a stocking from my MIL and every year it contains a can of shaving gel and a pack of razors along with little things like candy and candles. My SIL gets the same thing in her stocking. MIL’s theory is that those things are practical and cost more than they should so it’s nice not to have to buy them for a month.
[hijack] What kind do you get him? My boyfriend is hell on socks. [/hijack]
Wow. My tacky-o-meter and gift gifting etiquette handbook are apparently TOTALLY out of whack these days.
I can’t imagine a gift of a necessity being tacky.
By definition it is something that you need to use, so how could you NOT appreciate receiving it as a gift?
I love receiving necessities including clothes (of the ordinary types), food, supplies of various kinds (bathroom, kitchen, etc.). I just can’t picture myself ever thinking a person was tacky for giving me these things.
I have a semi-tradition of giving towels for Christmas. I get the real big ones (bath sheets they call them) from a discount bed and bath place and everybody gets one. They’re big, they’re fluffy, and it is an easy thing to bring especially when you don’t know how many people are going to attend and want to have something for everyone. I seem to remember people not being too excited the first time I did it, but now if I have any extras I nearly have to avoid a fist fight over who will get the extra ones. They love them. They have their own towels, of course, but they like having a new fluffy big one to wrap around themselves when they jump out of the shower. It is a necessity and damn I hope it’s not tacky because I had hoped to continue giving them.
I guess by extension a gift of money is tacky.
It is a necessity in today’s world.
Anybody want to be tacky to me?
Checks, money orders, paypal, and cash are all gratefully accepted.
What really burns my bacon is a practical gift of *lower * quality than I would otherwise buy for myself. Because now I already have, say, a blender, but it’s not a *nice * blender. So I am doomed to using a crappy blender. My motivation to buy a good blender now has to be considerably higher than it was when I had no blender at all. If that makes any sense…?
OTOH I really like practical gifts of higher quality than I would buy myself. Because then I get all the goodness of a splurge without the guilt.
If you are going with practical gifts, definitely avoid things that remedy a defect, like deodorant. I’d rather get batteries or detergent.
Practical gifts can also be a concession that you know you have horrible taste, and that you don’t know the taste of the recipient, so are choosing the lesser among evils. In that case, well, I’d rather get batteries or detergent than a god-awful flamingo sweatshirt.
ETA: The towels are a great example. If they are bigger and fluffier than my regular towels, great! But if they were lame, skimpy towels I would eventually have a collection of towels from you, but no good towels. You would be responsible for my drippy coldness, and I’d resent you for it, because I couldn’t justify to myself buying towels when I have a closet full of them.
I guess I don’t understand why the skimpier towels couldn’t just be relegated to car washing or spill cleanup or something, and still enjoyed in a useful way without ascribing tackiness to the giver. I should mention that the towels I give are usually out of the seconds bin. They have minor flaws (sometimes none that I can find) but people still like them. They are useful…I use them myself.
I mean we’re talking about gifts here. How are we all supposed to know your towel, or sock, or food preferences. We do our best but frankly sometimes it is hit or miss. And if someone misses that doesn’t make them tacky, just human. IMO of course.
Icky towels and blankets make great donations to the animal shelter.
Depends I guess, I waiting for my sister to get back to me and let me know whether she wants another season of Arrested Development to go with the first season I’ve already got for her, or a microwave, kettle and toaster for her place.
The latter aren’t going to be all that expensive, just whatever I can afford myself out of a catalogue, but they’re above what my sister and her boyfriend would budget for at the moment on what they’re paid. At least if they’re going to get them all in one go.
I’m assuming they’re not tacky though, but would be appreciated.
Right on. They also make for great packing material when you’re wrapping stuff up for a move or for storage.
My Christmas list is almost completely full of “necessities,” and I couldn’t be happier. Last year I got a new pair of sheets, a mattress warmer, an electric toothbrush, and some other small things. This year I have an electric drill, a pocket knife, and a Roomba on my list. Ok, the Roomba is there because it’s fun, and a robot, but it’s also practical. I tend to dislike getting fancy or extravagant presents because I think of them as a waste of money. I either don’t need a fancy whatever, or don’t need a whatever at all, so it goes to waste or I end up giving it away.
Some of my favorite gifts have been very practical. Whenever I cook up a big pot of soup, I’m reminded of my aunt and uncle who gave me a nice big pot as a graduation gift. When I’m curled up under my down comforter, it’s my mom’s gift keeping me warm, and I am strongly looking forward to sitting on the couch, not sweeping, drinking a beer, and watching my little robot clean, and thinking about how my dad and stepmom love me.
It may be tacky, but I like it.
My sister and I get stockings every year (yeah, I’m 36, what of it? 
). The stocking contains items of a practical or whimsical nature. The stockings are also 4 ft tall, and now we get 2 of them each. (The tradition has taken on a life of it’s own over the years.) Mom means well, but sometimes there are items in my stocking that I either have a ton of, or will never use. Since I don’t want Mom to waste here money, this year I made her a list of things that I use/need, including the brand names. She was very appreciative. I didn’t need anymore bath gel or lip balm. But I will use Gain dryer sheets and Carpet Fresh for Pet Odors.
It may be tacky to some, but in my family it works. This year my sister has requested all of her gifts be Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards. She just got divorced, is selling her house this week, and is moving back in with Mom. All her stuff is in storage, so she has no space in her “new room” and she says she wants to have a shopping spree when she buys her new place. I’m not gonna begrudge her that joy.
Part two of our Christmas tradition is coming up this weekend. For the last 6 or 7 years or so, Mom takes us to Myrtle Beach to stay in one of her time share rentals for the weekend. We go out to dinner on the first night, and she hands us each an envelope with cash. Then we proceed to spend the weekend at the Outlets spending all the cash on ourselves. Her one stipulation is that we have to spend it all. Not take it home and use it to pay the water bill. We give her one item to take home, wrap, and put under the tree. She gets her shopping done, we get exactly what we want, and we have a wonderful time together.
Maybe we are a tacky family, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I hope to goodness no one gets mad that I gave them a handmade quilt instead of something on the registry. I better never hear about it.
Another vote for “it depends.” My family still asks for a Christmas list from me (I’m 25) because otherwise it would be all books, or the occasional awesome thing from one of my sisters that suits me perfectly.
So I usually ask for a couple of things that aren’t necessities, but I can’t really think of much beyond one or two items, so I usually ask for things like grocery store gift certificates, underwear, socks, and kitchen stuff like pots and pans. And it’s really helpful for me, as a poor student, to get those necessities. Maybe a few months later, I’ll find some perfect decorative item or book or pair of jeans that I wouldn’t have had the money to buy myself if I had spent it on groceries and underwear.
Now, for my brother, the engineer who married a doctor and has plenty of money, that pack of socks is going to seem silly. He can buy those himself, and won’t appreciate it like I would.
So, I’d say it’s probably tacky for someone with the means and desire to buy those necessities themself, but not tacky for someone who is struggling (like a student) or who really hates shopping for dish towels, as another poster mentioned.