I was discussing this with a group of people last night and it was close to a 50:50 split on the issue.
Are non-fancy* practical things like underwear, socks, pens, blankets etc. suitable to be given as gifts?
*Not necessarily cheap. By non-fancy, I mean of similar quality as the person would buy for him/herself without a second glance. So no special engraved pen set for someone who usually buys disposable pens.
Yes, it’s tacky.
And I’m going to guess that the half that said it wasn’t tacky is male, and the half that (correctly) said it is tacky is female.
I’d say it depends. I give my husband socks every Christmas - it’s expected now. Same with boxers for my son. Back when I had to dress up for work my mom would get me like 20 pairs of hose. For my grandmother (who was in a nursing home) she appreciated a blanket I got her one year.
Again, it depends.
It really depends, I think.
Right now, I’d love it if someone bought me socks and underwear. Or maybe a grocery store gift card. My mom used to give us toothbrushes and deodorant in our stockings…and now we don’t get stockings (granted, we’re 28 and 30…) and I miss it. But that’s because I’m dead broke and would really really appreciate those sorts of things at this time in my life.
I’d find it awesome if my mom did it. Amusing and sweet if my closest friends did it. But I’ll admit it would seem tacky if, say, my grandma or my less-than-closest friends did it. I’d rather not get anything at all.
Another vote for tacky. Unless the practical gift was requested or the giver knows for sure it will be appreciated. Last year for Christmas, my dad paid a bill for me. I was thrilled and grateful, but then, he knew I would be.
So it’s a tough thing to gauge. It reminds me of the scene in Father of the Bride II where the new hubby gives his bride a blender as a wedding gift and they have a big fight over it. She thinks he’s making some patriarchal statement about a woman’s place being in the home; he thought she’d just like to make Margaritas.
No, not tacky at all. What makes something a good gift is its thoughtfulness, which is only slightly correlated with fancy.
This is really a matter of personal preference. Speaking for myself, I’m very happy to receive socks, dishtowels, etc. because I don’t buy them for myself without a second glance–I buy them with a certain amount of annoyance. In addition, generally speaking, I’d prefer functional gifts to gifts that just contribute to clutter or that I will just give away after a decent interval. This is not to say that I don’t like books, music, or jewelry–I do, but if someone is buying me a gift for the sake of buying a gift rather than because they see something that they think I’d really like, or that I’ve said I’d like, I’d much rather have good socks than, say, a box of orange-scented bath products that will stain my tub and make me sneeze.
I have some friends who don’t have much money. For holidays I get them functional gifts (if I can, better than they’d get themselves–good socks, good jam) plus something desirable but not functional per se, such as a Powell’s gift card or an album I think they’d like.
ETA: Just gave my sister’s boyfriend 9 pairs of good argyle socks as part of his Hannukah gift. He was thrilled.
Er, what? Why on earth would giving a necessity be tacky?
If you know the person needs the thing, and they’re having trouble getting it, why not give it?
If I really needed, say, a two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar winter coat, and my friend had a choice between getting me the coat and getting me an iPod, I’d love the iPod, but I’d approeciate the coat even more, and if he gave me the iPod, I’d probably return it and get the money back and buy the coat.
Now, giving unneeded necessities, like socks if the person already has enough, might be debatable. But it all comes down to knowing the recipient.
Really? I think it depends on the recipient. Lots of people have waaaay too much decorative stuff, or have trouble getting out of the house to buy simple necessities.
In fact, one year my sister complained that she and her husband had too many cool vases and clocks, but needed practical stuff. So I sent them a big box of necessities - door stops, electrical tape, multi-prong outlet covers. Wrapped each item individually (which was a good use of those scraps of wrapping paper that I never know what to do with). They thought it was hysterical.
I’d rather give something practical that people will use, as opposed to a piece of frou-frou that they give to Goodwill.
I was going to say it’s not tacky but the post above reminded me of the deodorant I got last year from the mom in my surrogate family who had given all the kids some in their stockings and wanted to be fair. As a stocking stuffer I guess it’s not so bad, but it’s pretty personal and I tossed mine because it’s not what I use. SO, I guess I have to say tacky if we’re not talking anything of higher quality than what the person gets every day. For example, a really nice nightgown or higher-priced undies than that would normally get, OK. Or nice wool or hand-knitted sox. But not the everyday stuff.
Well, isn’t this what baby and wedding registries are for? Totally uncreative gifts, but all stuff the recipient needs. (ETA: and we all know someone who complains about getting gifts that weren’t from the registry…)
Anyhow, I agree it’s a good idea for someone who might be in a pinch for cash at the moment, or someone for whom you would regularly buy basics for (wife, kid).
Huh. I would expect the opposite.
For the OP, I think you need to separate parents giving to their kids (or grandkids) from gifts between peers. Our kids get at least one such gift each year, but I wouldn’t give my siblings or friends something along those lines (unless, I suppose, there was some kind of story to go with it).
Pretty much. Well, there were two women on the non tacky side, along with all the men.
I can see **Jodi’s ** point about giving one person a gift for the house, like an appliance. That definitely seems tacky to me, unless s/he specifically asked for it.
My mom gets me pajamas every year. (I’m breathing down 30’s neck.) I don’t mind it - I’d be disappointed if she didn’t, I think.
Somebody once told the sweetest story here about how they and their husband give toilet paper and such, because one Christmas they had nothing to give and so they wrapped up the toilet paper and milk and peanut butter and stuff and made a big deal out of opening each roll, “Just what I always wanted!”, and they kept it as a tradition.
My mum gets both me and my husband underwear for Christmas. I’ve never considered it tacky.
My mom gets me pajamas every year. (I’m breathing down 30’s neck.) I don’t mind it - I’d be disappointed if she didn’t, I think.
Somebody once told the sweetest story here about how they and their husband give toilet paper and such, because one Christmas they had nothing to give and so they wrapped up the toilet paper and milk and peanut butter and stuff and made a big deal out of opening each roll, “Just what I always wanted!”, and they kept it as a tradition.
In isolation, not tacky. If done with any condescension on the part of the giver, then tacky.
Actually, haven’t most responses said “it depends”?
My brother gets my grandmother a big old box of Tide detergent every year, and she’s delighted. She has a houseful of clothes and tchotchkes and books and movies, but detergent…that she can use!
I wish somebody’d get me socks and undies this year so I wouldn’t have to “waste” my own money.
I’ve seen old print advertising showing women who are delighted when they receive a vacuum cleaner as a gift from their pipe-smoking husbands.
Today, I would think that any gift related to household chores, given from a man to a wife or girlfriend, is immensely tacky.