I’ve done the requisite search through old threads, and can’t find it. But sometime this year or last someone on this board recommended a book for about-to-be dads. I remember looking at it on Amazon (there was a link in the thread, I think) as a possible gift for a coworker’s husband who was being an absolute freak about carseats and other things. I thought he could use a good owner’s manual for his kid. When I couldn’t find it at my closest Border’s, I gave up, because the child was six months old or more and I figured half the book was already under the bridge for him.
But now another aquaintance is looking for a book for an expectant dad, and I said, “ooh, I heard about a good one!” and then went blank. So help me out, Doper Dads. One of you mentioned this book! They’re counting on me at work!
Car seats? You buy any new major brand car seat and it’ll meet whatever government specifications existed when the thing was built, which was a hell of a lot better than Dad setting up the playpen in the back of the station wagon and threatening to put the biggest miscreant in there if they don’t stop misbehaving. Family legend has it my brother and I spent an entire drive from Chicago to Atlanta in this manner. My sisters still talk about being able to poke us for 2 days without any retaliation. :mad:
So tell him not to worry. 50 billion other schlubs have raised kids, why does he think he’s going to do any worse than my father*?
*Who raised four kids who never spent a night in jail, never had an unplanned child, and all have successful careers. And I don’t think he read a child-raising book either.
I read part of this one Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads by Gary Greenberg and found it had some good advice for people with little experience with babies; I’m thinking of buying it, not because I know a new dad, but that I occasionally write them. It has a humorous tone to it as well, which is probably a good thing for the nervous new dad. (you can read an exerpt on Amazon too)
That’s the book! Be Prepared…how could I forget the title, having been raised by Scouts! Thank you so much!
And to address a bit of the carseat problem with my coworker’s husband: the divorce word actually came up in the argument about the car seat! He had taken the class at the fire department about car seat safety, and was adamant about having the straps winched down to the proper degree of tightness…that child could not wiggle at all. Their carseat was the type that you can take out and attach to a stroller, and one time when they had put it in stroller mode (not even in the car at this point, keep that in mind) and coworker was trying to show grandma how to attach the straps, she loosened them a tiny bit to help grandma get the latch fastened, and left them a tiny bit loose…just a tiny bit. You could maybe slip three fingers behind instead of one. Not flopping off at all. Husband went absolutley ballistic. He accused coworker of endangering the child’s life, of not caring about her safety, said “you didn’t take the class but I did and the firemen said…” called her a bad mother, etc. When she pointed out that the child was in a stroller and not needing to be protected from a car crash, he said, “A car could jump the curb and hit her while you’re walking.” The argument went on and on, and the subject of “maybe we should get divorced” came up as a result.
Now these are two very nervous people to begin with. The husband is paranoid about shredding documents and labels off magazines that come to the house. I’m too smart to ask him what information they’d get off the magazine label from the trash that they couldn’t get just from turning around from the trash bags and looking at the front of the house, where their address is and a cute sign that says, Welcome to the Lastname Residence. I know that logic doesn’t work with him!
And as to when to turn the carseat around to face front…he didn’t want to do it at all, because the firefighter’s told him rear-facing was safest. So the poor child was sitting there with her feet on the backrest of the back seat, knees up toward her chin, because even though she was tall enough for her legs to dangle over the edge of the carseat, he refused to turn it around. I finally found something in the NTSA brouchure online that said it would be okay to turn it, and printed it out for my coworker.
I won’t regale you now with the rest of his antics, except to say that they are trying for baby #2, so maybe I should get him the book anyhow, but I’d better read it first to be sure nothing will boost his anxiety!
My sisters still talk about being able to poke us for 2 days without any retaliation. :mad: