Give them the gift that keeps on giving…
a sock full of door knobs to help them shakedown other friends.
That could sure backfire. If I got a certificate that money in my name had been donated to Mother Teresa (while the evil, cruel old bitch was still alive, of course), I’d have had to donate an equal amount myself to a charity I could support!
Ok they pissed me off again, so there $10 platium coin is now reduced to a $1 silver eagle (about $10), but will get 4 of them, 1 (2004) for the new child and 3 for the 2 yr old child (2002 (birth year), 03,and 04). This gives me an easy option of 2 coins a year. Hopefully the children won’t spend them for a dollar each (like did when I was a child :smack: :wally :smack: ). And something the children might one day really appreciate one day (I really do appreciate the silver dollars I got, and still pissed that I spent them as a child for $1 each :smack: :smack: :smack: )
“Thanks for all the gifts you have given in the past to our 1st child (name of child) they will serve us well on our 2nd child and don’t need any more, this time around we would like cash, or at least items easilly converted to cash”
With a request like that they would get nothing!
boggle
It was clumsily phrased, and rude I’ll admit. But look under those things. Dig a bit here. These are your friends, they just had their second child. This makes finances tighter no matter what your income. Maybe the best gift that they could recieve would be money, to ease their pocketbook enough so they can be less stressed out, and enjoy being parents to a newborn a second time?
Yeah, I’d be upset too, at such a request. I’d have to pause, and consider my relationship with these people carefully before I decided on a course of action. I might decide to give them a gift of money, and maybe later bring up that I was put off with the way the phrased the invitation.
Maybe you should put aside your offense (justifiable though it may be) and honor their request? Maybe there are things they don’t feel comfortable talking about financially that brought them to ask such a thing? Or, maybe they are really just that picky, and are tired of explaining and defending their preferences to some people (not you) so that is why they just asked for money instead? So they could get their second child the brands of things they prefer, without having to take flak from people?
Think about this carefully before you act, they are your friends. Good luck.
I know I didn’t mention that they just bought 1 month ago a new Lincon Navagator, but I think this makes my point.
kanicbird So, it’s not financial need. Ok. Read the rest of what I said, I think it has merit. Good luck in any case.
Z-C I did take into consideration your words, and i do understand them, but these are the same people who when I was planning a party for them they didn’t like it, so they said thanks but no thanks, we will do it ourselves and give us the money you would have spent on our party (to which I said take a f----- hike)
The gift is for the baby (both of them), I will no longer give anything to these money grubbing, big honkin’ SUV, run all A/C’s during power shortageages parents!!!
I suggest stolen property, or heroin.
To be honest, if I received a request like that, I’d look for a nice, appropriate gift, but one that can’t possibly be converted to cash. Perhaps something with the baby’s name printed on it, so that it can’t be returned.
Do you need these people as friends? I don’t think I could stay friends with someone who refused a party and asked for the money I would have spent and then asked for money for a gift. Your call, of course, but they sound like people who aren’t really capable of being good friends to you.
OK, this is funny.
FWIW, I just got a invite to a cousin’s combination baby/bridal shower over the weekend (her fourth biological child, sixth overall, and her third husband) with a similar sort of request: “Registered at XXX and YYY - if you would like to give a gift that does not appear on the registries, cash is requested.”
Found out through the grapevine that bride-/mom-to-be-(again) is throwing her own shower, which is just so tacky there aren’t even words. But I digress. I got her Miss Manners on Weddings as a bridal gift, and Miss Manners’ Guide to Rearing Perfect Children for the baby shower.
–Rent a U-Haul.
–Load it up with all the old dishes, junk jewelry, broken electronics, and other random crap you have cluttering up your attic.
–On a nice Saturday morning, drive the U-Haul over to their house and unload it all onto their driveway, along with a big piece of posterboard on which you have written “GARAGE SALE.”
Nothing like the milk of human kindness spilled all over a thread to cheer me up on a Monday morning.
I am sure we can all agree that it stretches good taste to expect a gift for any occasion.
Now, if we could step off our sanctimonious high horses for a moment, why not keep in mind three little items:
Many people believe that the birth of a child is a momentous occasion, worthy of a gift as well as congratulations.
Many parents (to-be) set up a registry because there are many brands and choices out there, and some well-wishers (I said some, not all) prefer some guidance and want to choose a gift they know will fit, meet needs, be used, etc.
Name-brands when they appear on a baby registry or suggestion list are not necessarily “snobby” but might reflect specific preferences for a good reason. Here are a few: Many babies don’t react well to switching formula. Due to possible nipple confusion, many families also don’t swap bottle brands without good reason. Nipples are not interchangeable with other brand bottles. Refills for one kind of diaper pail do not fit into another brand’s. And so on and so on and so on.
Now, any expectation of a gift, discussing registries, and asking for brands can all be construed as rude and greedy. Certainly all of us perfect people in this thread would NEVER do such things. BUT given that there are fairly commonplace reasons that such things happen, maybe it wouldn’t be TOO MUCH OF A STRETCH to give people the benefit of the doubt?
“Hmmm. They asked for Huggies. Now, either they are rude, uncivilized barbarians who deign to demand I buy them a specific expensive brand name…or maybe they have a perfume allergy and can’t tolerate the Pamper’s smell. Or maybe other brands leak and have found Huggies fit best. In either case they’re just passing on information in case someone wants specific gift ideas. In short: either they are assholes, OR they’re overlooking etiquette for a non-greedy reason.”
You can make up your own minds, I guess, but I’m a fairly bitchy person and even I think some of you are a little too quick to assume the worst about your family, co-workers, and so-called friends. I know there is no shortage of rude people out there, and I’m sure you could regale me with authentic stories of the jerks you know who have offended Emily Post and yourself in staggering ways, but can we not give the benefit of the doubt in other cases?
You make excellent points, Cranky. And you are right, of course. But what we are all objecting to is this line:
I don’t have a problem with registries - I had one myself. Many people do, and I am glad they do, because then I can make sure that they really get something they want. It’s the asking outright for cash part that is problematic to me. It’s something I would never do, and I find it offensive when others do it. Even if it’s what they really need. Doesn’t the thought count for anything any more?
Depends on your relationship with them. The key concern is, do you feel right alienating them? As my dad says all the time, “Life isn’t a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.”
If the relationship is a casual one, send a card and don’t attend. If you’re called on it, explain diplomatically that you found the “gimmee” tone of the card off-putting. If the relationship is important to you, then I’m afraid that I can’t help you there. That would be left to those who are more knowledgeable than I.
No argument, there were some pretty egregious examples provided here. I just noted that some people seemed to be objecting to some less obvious gaffes.