Need Help please

Factual Questions
1

Here’s my problem. Unless the marriage counselor can perform a miracle, I will be moving out within the next few months. I have been married for 22 years and before that I lived with my parents, so I have no idea how to figure out a budget. I know that I should probably only spend a certain percent of my monthly net on rent, and then there are utilities and food, gas, daily living expenses. I’ve never had to do this before and to me it is the scariest part of being separated. Is the someone out there that has a formula to help or knows where I can find this type of information? You know, one that says
__% = rent
__% = dailly living expenses
__% = utilities/bills
__% = groceries

because I could sure use that information before I get into some major trouble.

A roommate isn’t possible. My daughter (19) and I will be in the apartment. She is going to college and while she can help pay for some things, I’m not expecting her to work full time and go to college. Besides I don’t want to be dependent on someone else again.

Thanks.
(crossposted to MPSIMS)

2

Try http://www.keepingupwithjones.com/ you enter how much you earn, number of family members, housing situation, and select urban/rural. This will generate a statement of annual income, taxes paid, and expenditures for USA families similar to your own. Again this based on US averages so you may have to adjust it for your area of the country (standard of living) but the percentages of each item (housing %, food %, etc.) should give you a rough idea of how others spend their money.

3

IMHO, I wouldn’t plan a budget on percentage recommendations because everyone’s situation varies. You could use them as a starting point, but you’ll likely have to make some serious changes.

Take your necessities: housing, food, utilities, medical care, and transportation and project what you will spend. Then take items that you could potentially spend more or less on (entertainment, eating out, clothing, savings, charity) and adjust based your personal situation.

For instance, I’m in a good position now, so I actually take savings and charity right off the top, roughly 10% of net for each, not including my 401k (I consider that part of gross income, not net). Rent is roughly 25%, 5% for utilities, 10% for transportation. That leaves 35- 40% of my net for food, clothing, entertainment, and daily expenses, and I don’t feel much of a need to budget these as I can control myself pretty well.

I imagine your situation is probably quite different.

4

SmoothOperator,

Before you freak out, understand that what mrblue92 posted is not really average - most people spend more than 25% of their monthly income on rent/mortguage - some even spend over 50%!

There really is no secret to budgeting, and most people avoid it because they don’t like being brutally honest with themselves.

All you need to do is look at your bill stubs for the last 3 months, and work out an average for each one. Cable cost X, Rent was Y, Electricity was Z, etc, etc, etc.

List those costs, add 5% just in case, then compare those numbers to your paycheck. As long as there is something left, you are doing better than almost 75% of your contrymen!

Since you seem to be making a clean break, this might be a good chance to take charge of your finances and create a clean start - if so, let me recoment two tools:
[ul]
[li]Quicken - if you don’t have this program, buy it and use it! It simply takes care of things so you don’t have to worry about them. I use Quicken to let me know if I am sticking to my budget (it helped me make it), write checks (I pay my bills electronically), balance my checkbook (I don’t enter checks anywhere! I just download them each week from the bank), etc, etc, etc. I can’t stress enough how great a product this is.[/li][li]Making the Most of Your Money by Jane Bryant Quinn. This book is an investment ($25.00) in yourself. She covers everything from budgeting to wills to insurance to investments to disaster planning. It’s fantastic.[/li][/ul]

I just re-read my post and I sound like some finance guru - Please understand. I was an English major and can’t add 5 numbers in my head. I am awful with money and used to forget to pay bills all the time.

Until I got into the habit of using Quicken.

Then, things were good, but we weren’t saving any money.

Then I read Quinn’s book!

Now we save money, I am insured so my family is protected, we invest towards our retirement and our children’s educations, etc, etc, etc.

We even have moeny left to rent some movies now and then, though they are free at the library, so we go there more often. :slight_smile:

I hope this was helpful - I certainly didn’t mean to nag. Good luck!

5

Thanks for your suggestions. As I said, I have never been financially in charge of anything. My husband hides the bills, so I don’t know that I’ll be able to figure out the cost of everything. Currrently we own our home and don’t rent but I already know that I’ll be the one leaving the house not him. That’s ok, it was never my home anyway. He can have it, but he will have to buy my half of it from me. It is the cost of living for the year of separation that is making me anxious.

6

Well, I am a single computer programmer, and housing costs here are pretty decent–I live alone in a three bedroom duplex with an attached garage. As you can tell by my figures, budgeting for me is no great challenge as long as I don’t splurge.

I’ll agree that housing will almost certainly be a bigger expense for you. When I lived in Grand Rapids, I had a medium sized one bedroom apartment for about $100/month less than what I’m paying now. It all depends on the area you live in and what your living requirements are.

7

Sounds like me five years ago, when Duane hid the bills and then would get mad if I subtracted the checkbook entries. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, Smoothie.

Are you the one deciding to move out NOW, could ya’ll not sell the house first, and then split the money?? I wish I could help, but when I did take over paying everything, it was hard, now it’s just aggravating.

Take care, hon,

Judy

8

He has already told me that he won’t help pay for a divorce. (snort) As if half the money in our (supposedly) joint checking account isn’ mine! No, he won’t move out which is why I will have to. He will probably end up having to either pay me for my half of the house or sell it and then I’ll get half. It will be interesting to see what happens. Meanwhile, everthing is in limbo.

Thanks for your concern Judy…why can’t you be a few states closer, j/k?

9

Hey Sarah, the way I look at it, you ARE between here and Lynchburg, Va which is where my beloved DJ goes to college, I could always see YOU first!!

I’m just sorry it seems like you’re having to make such huge decisions quickly. I wish I could help…:frowning:

10

Try your local Chamber of Commerce (virtually or physically) for looking at the cost of things. They usually have the lastest Cost of Living reports that will be specific to your region (if it’s a metropolitan area). You’ll be amazed at what that report tracks.

Another thing to try… call the utility companies. I know that when I relocated, I was able to give the address and they could tell me what the high/low bills were for the past year. Also, talk to each company and find out if a deposit is necessary.

-Insert sincere well-wishing phrase here. None seem to sound right.

ds

11

Sarah, another thought inspired by Des, before you choose where you and your daughter will live, you can call the electric company and find out what the high/lows bills tend towards and about levelized billing BEFORE you move in, so you could be planning ahead to keep those bills down.

{{{{{{{{{{{Sweet Sarah}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}