McDeath and I got married in a tiny private informal ceremony last May. And I mean TINY, we had 12 guests in total - all immediate family.
In our wedding announcements, we stated that we planned to have a larger celebration this spring / summer.
We have decided on a date and location, and now we need to get our invitations out. But we’re kind of stuck on appropriate wording. We don’t even know what to CALL this darn thing.
Can anyone help? Here are some pertinent details:
We will be renewing our vows.
The event will be very casual in terms of dress (shorts, tshirts etc will be fine).
We require RSVPs for food, drinks etc.
We probably can’t afford an open bar, but we are hoping to provide wine and soft drinks, juice, etc.
Kids are welcome but need to be noted on the RSVP.
It will be outdoors.
Those who want to camp overnight are welcome, but ultimately everyone is in charge of finding their own accommodations (we are not booking a block of rooms at a hotel for example).
We just want a fun, easygoing invitation that hopefully includes most of this information so that people will know what to expect. (I would hate for someone to show up dressed to the 9s and feel uncomfortable the whole time).
Paper and font really go a long way towards setting tone: Something bright and colorful (and it doens’t have to be childish)
Could you include pamphlets or put together a sheet about the local campground and lodge (if there is one)? If you don’t mention a block of rooms, people will figure it out.
“Wine and Beer provided” gets across the point that everything else is BYOB.
"Blah & Mrs. Blah Are Gettng Married again because it was so much fun the first time an we’d love for you to be there!
No open bar, but wine and soda will be flowing and food will be present and palatable.
RSVPS are very necessary–we’ll have evil midgets to bounce those (and spawn) who do not return annotated invites. Show up dressed to party if you RSVP, show up dressed to rumble with the demonic dwarves if you’forgot’.’"
No one in their right mind expects the bride and groom to plan their sleepig arrangements. No matter who tells you what that is just plain overplanning. Unless your guests are three years old they’ll call you if they have any other questions or big worries. Otherwise, they should just show up lookin’ for a good time.
We’re wondering if we should register - only because many people told us when we announced our “first” wedding, that they would give us a gift this spring.
We thought maybe we would just register at a couple of department stores, and if anyone asks, we will tell them so. But we certainly won’t put it on the invites or anything. Does that sound appropriate?
Oooh I like the website idea **FilmGeek ** … wonder if we’re ambitious enough to get that up & running soon enough.
And thanks Manda JO for the line about Wine and Beer Provided. You’re right, that should be a good clue to people that everything else is up to them.
We’re HOPING to be able to do this for around $1000. We’d like to see about 80 adults - it’ll be at my in-laws house - we’ll probably have a few barbecues going with a variety of food - plus salads, desserts, etc. Nearby familiy will hopefully be able to chip in some of the food and stuff.
Are we crazy!!! Hmmmm … now that I think about it, yeah, I think we are.
The main thing to avoid if you are having a casual reception is formal invitations. “Formal” in the etiquette biz meaning worded in the third person in black ink on white or ecru paper. So, no “Mr. & Mrs. Who Whosie request your presence.”
The very best (and cheapest) way to invite people to the kind of event you are talking about is through a handwritten note. Is your guest list small enough to accomodate that? The notes don’t need to be long, and they can all be exactly the same, with just the names changed:
Dear Uncle Manny & Aunt June,
Chris and I are having our vow renewal on the 13th of May at Newport News Park. The ceremony will be at 3:30 and we’ll be having a barbeque afterwards. It’s going to be very casual, but we do need to know how many are coming so we can arrange for the wine, beer, soft drinks & food. You can Rsvp at my email address (stainz@whosie.com) or by phone. And let us know if you want information about local hotels or camping. We hope you and the boys can join us.
Love,
Stainz
Again, it’s best if these could be handwritten, but I will divert Miss Manners’ attention if you want to cut, paste, and print them. Handwritten would really be preferable, though – it looks more personal and less like a mass mailing.
I don’t have a problem with you registering for gifts, either, so long as you only give out the information when people ask for it.
