Why not just drop a sentence or question to the teacher in passing when you come to pick her up? Not, “how do you approach this issue?” but “Daughter has mentioned twice that G is pushing her on the playground?” and look the question. You should get something, probably something along the lines of “G and Daughter tend to want the same sandbox toys; we’re working on sharing.” or whatever. We always had parent/teacher conferences in preschool as well–you might want to save it for then, but why? It’s a minor issue; keep it minor by addressing it now.
It’s NOT a big deal. Don’t treat it as such. Be informal, nice and keep your sense of humor. The tone should be a lighthearted “what are the little buggers up to now?”, rather than “what fresh hell is this?”
I’m sure it’s either over-enthusiasm on G’s part, or not having the words to resolve conflicts. And there is the chance that Daughter is instigating and G is retaliating…
Good luck!
What’s nice about the low-key approach is you don’t have to eat such a big piece of humble pie on the day YOUR kid brutalizes some little twerp (who will surely have had it coming).
ITA on all points. (Thanks, maggenpye!) Since your daughter has said several times that G hit and shoved her, makes sense at least to give the teacher a heads-up. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. You don’t have to claim G is showing early warning signs of a potential mass murderer, shortly to be followed by arson and pet mutilation. So saying something like, “He’s just as adorable as Ted Bundy was at that age!” probably wouldn’t be the best opener.*
But hey, the teacher is responsible for all the kids under her care. If G has some burgeoning aggressive traits, could be other kids have come in for some too. And I’d think G’s parents would want it spotted too. Well, maybe not welcome the news exactly but better now when he’s three than a teenager who, say, runs down the principal in his mom’s Chevy Suburban.
I’m with you TV. Mighty Girl, which is more important, that your daughter be ok or that you “get along” with another parent? Your daughter, right? So go to the teacher, then to her superior. A last resort might be to G’s mom.
It won’t make you popular, but you will show that you take care of your daughter. And young as she is, your daughter will notice that you stood up for her & cared. This is a great thing.
Yesterday I met with one of her classmates for a playdate. The other girl is also in her ballet class, so they spend a lot of time together and really like each other. In a conversation about their classmates her mom mentioned G, and that her daughter had also complained once about him. I am starting to believe that my daughter is telling the truth.
I’ll speak to the teacher on Monday and try to bring up the subject as gently as possible. If G needs extra attention they need to know. And they need to know that I know about this. I have faith in the teachers, it is possible that they are already addressing the problem but haven’t told me about this.
At my kids’ preschool, they have a policy of not telling parents who the “bad guy” is in these situations. They’ll tell you that your child was bitten by another child, or whatever, but they won’t tell you who the biter was. I think this is done to avoid stigmatizing a particular child or fostering bad feelings toward a particular child. (I gather that in your situation they didn’t even tell you your daughter had been pushed, so I don’t know if her teachers take a different approach, or they just didn’t realize she’d been pushed.)
That said, if there appears to be an ongoing problem, I agree with the posters above who think it’s a good idea to bring this up with a teacher in a non-confrontational way, just to make sure they’re aware of the problem.
Shortly after The Nephew started kindergarten, I went to pick him up and some other people were getting their kids sorted at the same time. One girl and another boy were shooting venomous looks at each other. The girl’s dismayed father said “oh Lord, don’t tell me she’s been hitting the kids who are smaller than she is!”
Teacher: “oh no, she’s been hitting everybody. She’s an equal opportunity hitter!”
Father: :eek:
The teacher showed him her nascent bruise and took advantage to ask whether the girl had hitter cousins or brothers and talk about what could be done about it at home. They definitely were planning on adressing it in the kindergarten, but of course it’s more effective if everybody is on the same page.
Another vote for “mention it to the teachers, just don’t go in guns blazing.”
1- casual mention to teachers & powers that be as well described above.
2-Teach your daughter to:
-say “Stop Hitting me” REALLY LOUDLY
-push the other kid firmly away
-walk away and tell a teacher right away.
Rehearse it at home home a few times. You can make it a fun/silly exercise by encouraging the child to say it even louder Kids love a chance to yell that is legitimised by parents.
Oh yes, the big loud “STOP HITTING ME!” can be very effective. Unfortunately, with the more manipulative children, it can me used for evil - my mum works with 7-9 year-olds and reckons by that age, any complaints of hitting must be witnessed or taken with a grain of salt. She said a similar thing last year when she was working with 5 & 6 year-olds.
**Maggenkid **(9 & 1/2) just got caught out with one of the boys in her class, he kept saying very mean things to her during their work on a project - eventually she called him a very descriptive and accurate name in retaliation. He immediately told the teacher and **Maggenkid **was in trouble. Luckily, their reputations are both well known and when she explained her side of the story, they were *both *in trouble - because she *did *call him a bad name, and he had most definitely provoked her.
Oh yes, the big loud “STOP HITTING ME!” can be very effective. Unfortunately, with the more manipulative children, it can be used for evil - my mum works with 7-9 year-olds and reckons by that age, any complaints of hitting must be witnessed or taken with a grain of salt. She said a similar thing last year when she was working with 5 & 6 year-olds.
**Maggenkid **(9 & 1/2) just got caught out with one of the boys in her class, he kept saying very mean things to her during their work on a project - eventually she called him a descriptive and accurate name in retaliation. He immediately told the teacher and **Maggenkid **was in trouble. Luckily, their reputations are both well known and when she explained her side of the story, they were *both *in trouble - because she *did *call him a bad name, and he had most definitely provoked her.
