I’ve been asked to come up with a list of questions for second round interviews for a position we have open.
I’ve got most of the real list done, but I want a spoof list to submit first.
Here’s what I’ve come up with tonight.
Can you disable, without killing, a fully grown grizzly using only what you have brought to the interview? Demonstrate.
How are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse?
So help me out here folks. The only restrictions are to keep it clean and superficially reasonable.
What is your favorite vegetable, and why?
“What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
“Have you shot a man just to watch him die?”
“Why not?”
And how do you use it?
Search for polls by Skaald the Rhymer.
Oh. Maybe not. 
Random thoughts here…mostly inspired by looking around my living room.
A bull, a dog, and a monkey walk into a coffee shop. What does each one order?
If you had to delete three people from your facebook profile (or cell phone) right now, who would they be, and why?
If we hire you, will you immediately make a minor mistake, causing the entire staff to be locked out of the building?
When studying geography, do you prefer a flat map, or a globe?
How many mirrors do you have in your house?
Without checking, how many keys are on your keychain?
What is your favorite style of potpourri?
How do you handle someone who doesn’t complete their
On average, how long do you keep fitness equipment before realizing it’s just taking up space?
Watercolor or oil painting?
What is the most unusual way you have ever put out a fire?
Do you have any experience hanging curtains?
Are you allergic to penicillin?
What kind of bird are you most likely to take a vacation to see?
Ok…that’s all I’ve got. Without drinking, that is.
-D/a
What are you most likely to steal from your employer?
How many naked pictures of you are on the internet?
If you could switch the flavors of any two foods, which ones would you pick?
What’s your favorite fraction?
If you were a Marx Brother, what would be your stage name?
If you wanted to assert ownership of a color, would you copyright it, patent it, or trademark it?
If you were assigned to pick a new denomination for American currency, what would you pick?
What’s a name that would be equally good for a boy, a girl, or a hedgehog?
Does it bother you that some of the air in your lungs was once breathed by Hitler?
All of these can be made even more fun with the follow-up: Why?
Congratulations you’ve got the job! One of our initiation rites is to run a nude lap around the office. Do it now!
(Yes, I know it’s not a question.)
This works best as a verbal question.
Over the top of a fence is placed a rope, the same amount on both sides. The rope weighs one-third pound per foot. On one end of the rope hangs a monkey holding a banana, and on the other end is a weight equal in weight to the monkey and banana. The banana weighs two ounces per inch. The length of the rope in feet is equal to the age of the monkey, and the weight of the monkey in ounces is as much as the age of the monkey’s mother. The combined ages of the monkey and its mother are 30 years. The weight of the banana plus one-half the weight of the monkey is one-quarter as much as the sum of the weight of the weight and rope, where all weights are in the same units. The monkey’s mother is one-half as old as the monkey will be when it is three times as old as its mother was when she was one-half as old as the monkey will be when it is twice as old as it is now. How long is the banana?
Another fun one.
You’re driving a bus. There are fourteen people on the bus. At the first stop, six people get on the bus and seven people get off. At the second stop, five people get on the bus and nine people get off. At the third stop, three people get on the bus and five people get off. At the fourth stop, four people get off the bus and ten people get on. At the fifth stop, six people get off the bus and five people get on. At the sixth stop, one person gets off the bus and three people get on. At the seventh stop, nine people get off the bus and four people get on. At the eighth stop, five people get off the bus and seven people get on. How old is the bus driver?
What’s your weakest strength? What’s your strengthiest weakness? What’s your weakest weakness? Which weakness of yours is most exploitable by supervillains?
Duh -
what’s the stupidiest question you’ve been asked in an interview and why?
What’s the stupidiest answer you’ve given to an interview question?
Who’s going to win the Rugby world cup?
If hats and gloves are all each of one gender, which is the male and which is the female? (gloves are male/hats are female is the correct answer)
If you could have a small black hole, which would allow you to dispose of one object a day through it, or a small white hole, which would expel one foreign object a day from it, which would you rather have and why?
Why does my cat stare at that one spot on the wall, for like forever?
If you could be reincarnated as someone famous who hasn’t been born yet, who would you pick?
^(please supply urls)
How tall is Imhotep?
If you could get this job by sleeping with one of us, which one would you pick?
One for the real list: Ask for knowledge of a nonexistant technique. If they claim to be familiar with it, do not hire them.
It’s what one of my bosses did. By saying I wasn’t familiar with it, not even with its theory, I got hired. He’s one of the best bosses I’ve had, too.
One for the other list: Beach, city or mountains?
If you use this one, include: “What is your favorite color.” (colour?)
“If you had to dispose of a body, how would you do it?” or “Have you ever thought about how to dispose of a body?”
If I order you to make a change to the project, which causes an epic fail, will you take the blame for it?
Which better describes your view of American capitalism: Amoral exploitation of people and resources, or evil incarnate?
I’m going to make a viciously racist comment now. Let’s see how you respond to it.
Our CEO is a real party animal. I’m talking booze and strip clubs in the middle of the day, and cocaine in the evenings. How would you clean him up for a shareholder’s meeting?