Hi, folks. Ummm… I could use your help in catching a certain species of fowl. A desert-dwelling creature, really. He’s fast and crafty, but he looks oh-so-juicy.
I’ve been sending out for a bunch of kits, but to no avail. The results have been… less than encouraging.
Any suggestions?
Contact the Acme Supply Company. They have a great variety of roadrunner catching equipment. If you tell them that Wile E. Coyote referred you, they may even give you a discount.
Painting a tunnel on the cliff works for me. Watch out for that light, though, man.
::walks off, accordian-style::
Rocket backpack. Roller skates. You can’t miss with this one.
[sub]Make sure you have plenty of fuel. Running out in midair is painful.[/sub]
There was a roadrunner where I used to work. It would find a snail, carry it over to a parking abutment, and bash it until the shell broke to get to the chewy centre.
If you want to catch a roadrunner, go to where they are and see what they do. I’m sure the one in our parking lot could have been caught with a net or something if we really wanted to catch it.
But why do you want to catch a roadrunner? What did they ever do to you? Not much meat on them. And they’re cute.
Not a chance! They’re still in litigation over this:
Coyote’s attorney’s opening statement
Acme’s attorney’s opening statement
So far as I can tell, the case is still open. An alleged reference from Wile E. would get you about as far as pretending to be a friend rather than a salesman by referring to my ex-boss by the diminutive of his first name, which he never uses – it’s amazing how many calls you can screen that way! 
Dude, where do you think I’ve been getting those kits from.
Some advice. Grumble, grumble, grumble.
I’d like one with a nice hemi, glaspacks, spoilers, etc…
But maybe you weren’t talking about muscle cars…
Catch up to him and pour a little salt on his tail.
What? Well, yes, I’m a LITTLE old…And I guess I’m a wife… OH! :rolleyes:
I guess using a trained coyote wouldn’t work too well either!
Are we talking male or female roadrunner here? 'cause, I’m thinking if it’s a girl, you might try decorating a large box to look like a fancy little shop. Put a big sign out front, “Feather’s, Half Hrice” and in she’ll go!
On the other hand, if it’s a boy, try just leaving the box plain. In it, place a TV remote. No male can pass up a chance to grab the remote! Bingo, one Roadrunner!
Catch up to him and pour a little salt on his tail.
What? Well, yes, I’m a LITTLE old…And I guess I’m a wife… OH! :rolleyes:
I guess using a trained coyote wouldn’t work too well either!
Are we talking male or female roadrunner here? 'cause, I’m thinking if it’s a girl, you might try decorating a large box to look like a fancy little shop. Put a big sign out front, “Feather’s, Half Price” and in she’ll go!
On the other hand, if it’s a boy, try just leaving the box plain. In it, place a TV remote. No male can pass up a chance to grab the remote! Bingo, one Roadrunner!
Or, you could just fence it in with double posts!
3 words:
Instant
Tornado
Pills
I think you need an anvil somewhere high above you. With a flat boulder below. Springs are often involved. And don’t forget the birdseed.
As an expert from Bakersfield, where there used to be lots of road runners and coyotes, I say make friends with a generous coyote. They catch road runners all the time.
Coyotes love cheeseburgers. And poodles. 
Peace,
mangeorge
I think roadrunners are a protected species in some states so beware. While they may be too delicious to resist, you might find yourself in a cold cell on a bread and water diet. If you’re not careful.
Rather than wasting money on those silly ACME kits…why not buy some food?
Perhaps you might purchase an incubator and some cages and start farm raising roadrunners for yourself. Think about the money you could make selling your homegrown birds to all of your friends. All the while feasting on the young succulent hiway chicks day and night.
Farm raised and grain fed as opposed to lean and tough.
I know, I know…it’s the hunt
<shakes head, mumbling…damned lazy coyote>:rolleyes:
Two large boulders. One large slingshot. As roadrunner runs by, walk backwards in slingshot as far as possible, then let fly. You may zoom right past and snatch him right off the road or you may end up suspended in mid air for a moment after running off a cliff. If the latter happens, try not to look down. In the event that you DO look down, take out your “Oh no!” sign or your tiny umbrella. Both are equally effective in slowing your decent.
