My son’s mother has decided that she is going to move out of state, to Philadelphia. This means that I will see my son (whom I already don’t get to spend much time with) even less.
When I do see my son, it will be a 2-3 hour drive each way. I really don’t think it is fair to my son to insist that he take that much time out of every other weekend travelling, nor is it fair that I commit 12 hours away from Ms. D_Odds and my step-daughter (who also don’t get to see too much of me, but more than my son).
I’d like to bring my son over more often in the summer (mother willing), but I take my responsibility to him very seriously. [I was promising myself I wouldn’t rant, so I’ll keep this piece short] My son needs supervision, moreso than my step-daughter, 3 years his junior. He has developmental and maturity issues (that are not being addressed as well as they should be), is quite headstrong, and would overwhelm the soft-touch of my step-daughter’s grandmother. He behaves well enough when I’m around, but still constantly shows signs that he will push the envelope too far when out of sight. How does his mother handle it, you ask? She ignores it (a-whole-nother set of issues, and not the purpose of this post).
Anyway, I’m wondering how other non-custodial parents with out of state children handle seeing their children. How often? How are transportation costs split, if not driving (not that it’s an option - all things considered, if I don’t pay, I don’t see)? How do you get involved with any activities (already very difficult - despite my begging and pleading to be kept in the loop, both mother and son consider 24 hours notice of something they knew 4 weeks ago advance notice) or follow up with school work?
Sorry for the mini-rant in this. I’m looking forward to some good 'Doper advice. Thanks in advance.