*Guacala *
or
Guacatelas
Literally, ew
Ah, that reminds me of what a colleague did several years ago. He did have a minor speech impediment that probably helped in getting served a white tequila instead of butter. (blanc tequila? blanco-quila? – I wasn’t there that day, unfortunately.)
When someone asks you what you’d like to order, tell them, “Quiero un zapato con queso.” Put the stress on “un” (like uno, not the prefix un) so they know you only want one.
And, if there’s an awkward silence, break it by asking your companion, “¿Donde esta tu pantalones?”
Oh, and if you bump into someone accidentally, say “Pardoname, me rompí el culo.”
“I want a shoe with cheese.”
¿Dónde están tus pantalones?
“Where are your pants?”
Perdóname, me rompí el culo. (Perdóneme if you want to be more formal)
“Pardon me, I broke my butt.” (Literally, “Pardon me, I broke myself the butt.”)