Needing Life Advice BADLY (long)

In My Humble Opinion
1

I don’t even know where to begin, or why I am writing this. I feel so lost and alone, I just need to get some of it out, I guess, and maybe get some suggestions I have overlooked.

I have been unemployed now for 18 months. I lost my last job due to a doctored absentee record. It was a factory job that treated its employees really crappy, and a group of us had fought long & hard to get a union in, ending up with a court battle because the company went to illegal measures to keep the union out. There were 7 of us that testified against the company in court , and all but 1 have now been fired with bogus reason, but no way to prove their wrong-doing. Besides, Indiana is an at-will state, and employees can be fired for no reason at all.

After losing my job, my father’s health took a dramatic downswing, and I did a year of home care for him. He died in May. My father was a good man, but had NO foresight as to providing security. I got a VERY small insurance policy, and the house , van & belongings. I have been actively seeking employment, I have applications in all over town, and have gotten NO WHERE. Not even called for interviews.

Dad left bills, and by the time I paid them off, I am now down to about $500 to my name. It is not enough to make my bills this month. I am scared. I have been making ends meet with eBay sales, but I am running out of things to sell.

I have no training for anything but factory work , I have done it since I got out of high school in 1978. Our local economy is in the toilet, there is just nothing out there that I can find. I also have arthritis in my lower back and hip , and standing on concrete is extremely painful. I have been trying to find some other type of work, telemarketer, cashier, ANYTHING, but even WalMart has not called me. I have a lot of experience working with animals, but the pet shops I applied to , ditto, no call back.

I never thought I would be in this situation. I have absolutely no idea what help is available for people in my situation, or how to go about getting it. I have no family, and no friends to turn to. All I have is my dogs, and right now, it is looking very likely I am going to have to find homes for the Gordons very soon. This thought is tearing me apart. Without my dogs, I have nothing.

I have suffered from depression all my life, but these last few months it has almost smothered me. Thoughts of suicide are constantly with me. If I lose my dogs, I don’t know what there would be to live for.

I have not been able to go to a doctor since losing my job, and my depression , arthritis and high blood pressure have gone untreated. I have no energy. I feel like crap all the time.

I want to work. I am not stupid, and while I don’t have experience , I can learn , if only someone would give me a chance. Can anyone out here give me some advice, please? I just want a future.

I am sorry if this is in the wrong forum. I really didn’t know where to put it.

Anna

2

Man, you’ve got some heavy stuff on your plate. All I can suggest is to keep pestering places where you’ve applied, to let them know that you really want the job. There may be some non-profit employment agencies in your town that may be able to provide a job for you. Look in your phone book and see what there is. There must be something that can help. I wish you lots of luck.

3

Move. As someone who was unemployed for almost that long but found work immediately upon moving to a city, I can tell you that things will improve when you move to somewhere where the economy is better. How far do you live from a large city, and is it possible to commute? Sign up with all temp agencies in the city and wait for a call. A city like Indianapolis should have several temp agencies, as well as a lot of university positions which are often offered to people with minimal experience at desk jobs (again, I speak from experience). Try more than just the one town. Some areas are just severely economically depressed and you’re not going to find anything in places like that. Go to where the money is, don’t wait for it to come to you.

Can you get a loan from a bank to finance a move? (Or at least a long commute.) You should, if you own a house. And is there anyone who can take the dogs temporarily while you plan a move or get your life together? Animal upkeep is expensive, and while you may not want to be without your dogs, you should focus your priorities on you. They won’t suffer from being put in a foster home for a few months, and there are people who will take them in for you temporarily.

4

Have you tried temp agencies? I live in southern Ohio, where the economy is not exactly booming, and I know that the factories in my area use temp agencies like Manpower for most of their entry-level workers. A friend of mine who has a small truck-parts factory does all of his full-time hiring this way: he “tries out” the new worker for several months through a temp agency, then hires them full-time as employees if they have worked well. Good luck to you!

5

My condolences on the loss of your father.

What sort of factory work do you know how to do? Can you look outside southern Indiana?

Perhaps you could take out an educational loan that is large enough to cover a year of living plus training at some sort of technical institute or trade school. Other than that suggestion, all I can think of is to hit all the job sites and apply for everything you think you might be able to do.

I hope someone else can offer suggestions on how to treat your depression. Good luck.

6

All I can suggest is moving to a different town.

Since you can post here, I assume you do have access to a computer. Go to the library and start teaching yourself how to make webpages or to program. …is another thing I can recommend. It’s a profession where you can teach yourself, where your hip doesn’t matter, and where all that anyone cares about is whether you can make stuff that works or not–and it pays well.

7

The United Way offers 211 services in your area, from what I can tell. This service is a single number that you can call to speak with a UW representative, who will then connect you with whatever services you need in your area.

There is some more information about this available online:

If you’re not already doing so, check out local food shelves for assistance for yourself and your dogs.

8

Well Anna, my advice will sound a bit cliche, but it comes from experience.

Life unfortunately can be a bit of a rollercoaster ride sometimes, and it sounds like you’re at the lowest dip right now. There’s an old Brooklyn expression, “I know where you’re at cause I’ve been where you’ve been” (makes more sense after a few beers). Life is always about balancing problems, and when it’s one or two, we can usually manage. But every once in awhile there’s an “eclipse” of just about every bad thing that can happen, happening at once. The bad news is this bar none, the toughest time of life. The good news is that although it feels like things will never get better, they will, they always do. The reality however is that it will take some effort on your part to get the ball rolling.

To the particulars of your situation, I humbly offer a few suggestions.

The most pressing issue at the moment seems to be a financial one. Keep the job hunt going. In addition, are there any unemployment benefits or temporary public assistance options available? I’d also see if there are some skills you might be able to teach yourself at home with any extra time you might have. Between the library and the web, there should be a good deal of tutorials available to learn a craft you might be interested in. Just having a basic undesrtanding might help you get in the door, and in a better position to learn faster and firsthand.

I’ve gone through times where I’ve kept to myself, and isolation from others can be tough. I’ve found there are plenty of people that share common interests and activities. Participating in these things is a great way to meet people and form friendships.

My thoughts are with you during this tough time. We’re here if you need to talk.

9

Oh, Anna. {{Big hug}}. Hon, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I live in Michigan, and the economy is crap here. There was just an announcement recently that Ford Motor Company is laying off thousands of people at the Wixom and Dearborn plants. Lots of people are suffering here as well.

Used to be… that my husband had a good job and made good money. Used to be that I owned my own business and did fairly well. Now my husband doesn’t make enough to pay the basic bills and I recently accepted a job at a local discount store.

When I went to the mass hiring event, I thought it would be mostly younger people (I am in my upper 30’s) and I would stick out like a sore thumb. Not so at all. Over 500 people showed up for 120 jobs. :eek: I’m grateful that I went early and got a job. Some of those that showed up wore suits, ties, and had briefcases and resumes. This for a very casual workplace.

I’ll be embarrased to work there, especially when former customers see me, but money is money. I have been out of work since June. I’ve been depressed and feeling useless, even though I have a good work history, skills, and references. The only thing that helps is knowing that most of the businesses that started when I did went belly up. At least I was lucky enough to sell mine and recoup some of the costs.

DH hates his job. He and I are both depressed, actually, and it is affecting our marriage.

My little dog died last year, and her sister is now very ill. They are dachshunds, and have genetic back problems. Right now our girl has a morphine patch on for pain relief, and is paralyzed from mid back down. Last time we went through this with her in October, it cost $800.00 for treatment. :frowning: So far this time it’s been about $100, but she just went down last week.

In Michigan, we have something called Michigan Works! and they are helpful for finding you jobs, posting resumes, and so on. I found a couple of links for you. I hope they lead somewhere.

http://www.in.gov/ai/assistance/
http://www.in.gov/dwd/
http://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=&l=Indiana&start=50

Also try Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com.
Please keep posting and let us know how things are going for you. I know just how you feel. Even the temp agencies here wouldn’t call me back.

I’m glad you have your dogs to keep you company, and I hope you can hang on to them. I know what a comfort they can be.

10

Do you own your house outright, or is there a substantial mortgage on it? If you have lots of equity, and want a fresh start, consider sell it and moving. I would recommend that you find some sort of job in your new town before moving. If you do need to move, I’d take your Gordons in until you get back on your feet. I have my big old farmhouse and 14 acres. I won’t say that they’ll get everything you can give them, but they’ll be housedogs with room to run. I live in Middle Tennessee, so I could pick them up if you needed it.

As for a job - how many places have you looked? At least in Nashville there are always ads for assembly workers in the newspaper.Before Christmas is obviously the best time for looking for retail work, but a guy at Home Depot recently told me they were starting soon to hire for the summer season. You can apply at the store.

With the health problems, - can you go to the clinic at your local Health Department? They may be able to give you some help. Have you checked into disability or your local Medicaid office to see if you qualify? It takes a long time to get disability, though.

That’s all the advice I can give at this point. Let me know if I can help.

StG

11

Thanks so much for all your support , guys. It means the world to me.

I actually live in the 3rd largest city in Indiana, Evansville. Moving is not an option to me right now, there is just no money for it. This house is, at least, paid for.

Any ideas how I could go about getting an education loan as was suggested to me? As I said, I really am clueless about this sort of stuff.

I have called a bunch more places this morning, found a few accepting applications so I will be out putting in there. I had one in at a Doggy Day Care Center, and I called and talked to the owner again, she said she would pull my app out and look over it again, and call me back.

I know keeping my dogs may sound trivial to some of you, (not all !) but try to imagine a life where you have no one- no family, no friends. I go days without hearing a human voice, weeks without a touch. Except for my dogs. They are always here for me, to kiss my tears away and give me a hug. Without them I have nothing.

I have applied at several temp agencies, and have recieved only one call, before Dad died. He had JUST gotten out of the hospital that day, and I had dinner cooking on the stove. They called at 1:45 PM, and told me to show up for a job at 2:30. I explained what was going on , said I could not do it on that short of notice, and they have not called back.

I do have a computer, for now. The internet/computer and dogs will be the last things I give up. They are my lifeline. Where do I find info on how to make web sites, without having to buy anything?

As a side note: I do have some artistic talent , and have been painting dogs & horses on wooden boxes, canvas bags, and other stuff, in hopes of selling them. I have 2 listed on eBay right now, selling, but I would get better response I think, if I was presenting them to the proper audiance- dog and horse people. I have been trying to market them, but am having a tough time doing so. If I were able to get a booth at a dog show, I think I would not have any trouble making hundreds of dollars… but you have to HAVE money to make money :frowning: . I will link a few examples of my work here, feel free to offer suggestions.

Again, my sincere thanks to all who are offering suggestions and help. It helps, just knowing someone is listening.

Box with a Mastiff on it:

Box with a foal on it:

Top of box with a yellow Lab:

Front of same box:

Box with a jumping horse:

Canvas purse with Alaskan Malamute:

Box with sleeping leopard:

12

Your house being paid for is a huge blessing, and can now really work for you. You might explore taking out a mortgage on it. I understand that it would be scary and incur debt for you, but it could also act as a bridge to carry you until you are employed again.

I love your paintings – they’re really well-done.

13

You’ve got some very nice folk art there. Post more on eBay! There’s a big audience for that sort of craft, you just need to get more examples out there.

Hey - I’m a graphic designer. I’d be willing to make you business cards for free that you could print out and tack up around town. It’s one more way to get your name out there. Email me if you’re interested, it’s in my profile.

14

First of all; do you have a resume? I know it seems silly, since you’re looking for factory work, but if you want to move up, or post on the web you need a resume. If you need help let us know, we’re pretty good at that sort of thing.

Ask for help. People want to help. People like to help. You’re really not bugging them. But more importantly; take help when offered. People are honest about their intentions. I see StGermain offered to watch your dogs, take him up on it if you think it would help. Moving is probably a very good idea. Remember, if you get a nice stable job today, you may be able to keep it forever, and not have to worry about this kind of thing again.

Try some of the non-traditional websites for a job search. Big companies often don’t use Monster or Career Builder. They hire through their own sites. Raytheon, for instance, hires through www.rayjobs.com. Most hospitals have sites where they hire staff. The best thing about a big company, is that they almost always will pay for your education.

The paintings are very nice. Take some of your stuff to the doggy daycare, and see if they will put them out. Also try groomers, and vet clinics. Most places don’t mind that kind of thing as long as they fit the motif and they are tasteful. Also when you’re hitting the places you’d like to have them displayed, you could see if they have an job openings.

Above all; don’t despair. Just remember, when you get to the bottom, there’s no where else to go but up.

15

I live in a big city. The turnover rate for entry-level retail work is 60 percent. That means you can probably get hired just by walking around with a few resumes and filling out forms. Problem for you is, most of those jobs do involve standing. The pay would suck, but it would be money coming in.

I’d say go with a big city if you can. I don’t know what the economy is like in southern Indiana, but there’s Vincennes (I’m not sure how big it is, but I’ve heard of it) Louisville Ky and Cincinatti, all not too far away. I’d do a little research on the economy of each city before moving.

You can now use sites like Monster and CareerBuilder to find jobs in cities outside your own without actually moving there. Even if you can’t take a given job, if you get positive responses from other locations, that should tell you something. You can “test the waters” at no expense or risk before making any big moves.

I’m really sorry you got messed over by your employer for your union activities. You probably know not to tell potential employers about your union activism. Given that your former employer might be maliciously inclined toward you, you should have a friend pretend to be a potential employer and check whatever reference you are using for the employer, to find out what they’re saying, just to be on the safe side. Sounds paranoid, but some of the threads I’ve been in have revealed so much malevolence on the part of employers toward unions and union people that it might be a good idea.

16

Look into a reverse mortgage. Many people who are in your position do this. If there’s no one to leave the house to, it can be very attractive and will give you money so you can go back to school and learn a new skill.

17

all the advice offered here seems pretty sound, and i don’t think i can offer any more good advice.

what i can do, however is give my condolences to you.

it sounds hokey, but if you need someone to vent to or talk to, don’t hesitate to email either me or someone else on these boards. after all, this is an online community. community looks out for the others, and dammit, i’ll do what i can, even if it isn’t much at this present time.

this brings up the question i had on a previous post in another discussion thread.

with all the people we have in here, are you telling me we don’t have some sort of job website? i’m sure people either own businesses or work for companies that have openings or are HR people themselves. shouldn’t we be more effectively networking for our community, or have rules already been passed in here that we can’t do it?

18

and, god dammit, you’re not alone. like i said, you’ve got us, and we’re not all that bad…right?

…right?

19

Have you tried getting your painted boxes and things into stores? Around here, the little gift-type stores sell a lot of things for local artists.

I second (third, whatever) calling your local charities. That’s what they’re there for! Our local food bank will give to anybody in need, it’s not like you have to have kids or live in a shelter or anything. Here at least there are also local charities that do things like help you pay your heating bills. Take help from people, and then when you have more money later you can donate to help others. Do you attend a church? Churches are always willing to help people. (If you didn’t, maybe your dad did? Maybe there’s one next door - you don’t necessarily have to attend to get help.)

Ask your local library for help with your job search - they may have specific local resources (ours, for example, has a computer set up just for job searches, donated by a local news station.) They may also offer resume workshops or such - and they definately have books on how to improve your resume, if nothing else.

20

Libraries are free. Mine in college certainly had several books on how to make webpages or how to program. With your art skills, webpages might be better.

Make a file called test.html on your computer and write in:



<html>
   <head>
      <title>PapSett's First Webpage!</title>
   </head>
   <body>
      Hello, World.
   </body>
</html>

Then open it in your web browser.