Neko Cases' Plan for reintroducing Tigers to the wild

I have been presenting this idea to different people since I first heard about it on Neko Case’s The Tigers Have Spoken. Many seem to have a strong reaction that this is a bad idea. It is on the last track and Neko Case talks about how she was listening to an animal expert about how tigers are not reintroduced to the wild because their enviroment cannot sustain them. Neko Case then talks about how there are a lot children around that are extra. She proposes that we should feed these children to the tigers. Neko Case points out that tigers are noble and sleek while children are loud and messy. Neko Case talks about how she was one of those children and she would have been better out being fed to a tiger.

Now, since we all know there are a lot of children in the world that are not going to make it anyways or that currently are just loud and messy, should they be used to fed tigers? Now, it might seem cruel to feed children to tigers, but it is human’s fault that the tiger habitat has been so damaged. Don’t we owe it to the tigers to make up for out wrongs in the past? I think the big part of the strong reaction against Neko Case’s plan is not the feeding of children to tigers, but that it forces us to admit what we did to the tigers to begin with.

By the way, can feeding a tiger a person with HIV hurt a tiger?

You can hear Neko Cases thoughts on the subject on the track “Tigers are Noble” from the album The Tigers Have Spoken.

A transcript can be found here:

In part:

“let’s champion the tiger 'cause.
you know, i think that maybe i wrote this song for many reasons
but i was telling them earlier, i was in a cab in toronto the other day
and the cbc was on and they were talking to a lady
who specializes in animal husbandry
and she takes care of the tigers at the toronto zoo.
and they said “well do you ever reintroduce the tigers?”
and she goes “well, no, because their habitat can’t sustain them.”
and immediately i thought to myself
‘there’s so many extra children, we could just feed the children, to these tigers.’
we don’t need them. we’re not doing anything with them.
tigers are, tigers are…”

Well she can’t feed the Irish children to the tigers. They’re already spoken for.

Notice how it’s always somebody else’s children who get fed to tigers. If she feels so strongly that tigers should be fed human meat, she can jump into a tiger cage and offer herself.

It’s a joke, son.

(Incidentally, tigers are filthy.)

Neko Case does say that this would not have been a bad thing if it was done to her when she was a child.

It is a well documented thing that society will call on its members to make up for that society’s actions or to protect that society. Look at the historic use of the draft.

Wait, if she were a child it would have been fair to feed her to tigers, but now that she’s an adult it wouldn’t be?

If it’s fair to feed children to tigers, why isn’t it fair to feed adults to tigers? It jumps in the tiger cage or it gets the hose again. IT JUMPS IN THE TIGER CAGE OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

I would have no problem with feeding adults to tigers, too. You know the waster of space adults like bums or those people that can’t live on their home and have to stay at some group home (unless the group home makes money).

I think we should move our society to something more like Sparta (not just like Sparta or really anything like Sparta. Just more like Sparta, but with many differences).

I don’t know how Neko Case would feel about these things.

waster = waste

Then why don’t you drive to a zoo and hop into the Siberian tiger enclosure? Odds are you’ll die pretty quickly; they move fast and kill faster.

If it’s good to do it, volunteer yourself to go first. If you don’t want to do that, maybe you should wonder why that is.

You don’t see many Spartans around anymore. Ask yourself why.

Michigan State is not as popular as it used to be?

Tigers ate them all?

When will they ever learn?

Nonsense. If it needs doing, it’s worth making sure it gets done. If all those in favor of feeding humans to tigers feed themselves to the tigers first, then the social impetus is lost. If only those in favor of feeding humans to tigers feed themselves to the tigers, the social impetus may be diminished.

Oh, and welcome to the Straight Dope MB, William Strunk Jr.! I personally appreciate this post & your presence here. It’s good to see another out-there iconoclast.

Where have all the Spartans gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Spartans gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Spartans gone?
Eaten by tigers every one … .

A tiger? In Africa?

Since they seem to be killing them all off in Africa, could we start settling black rhinos in, say, Arizona or New Mexico? I think that would be pretty cool.

Yeah, only in Kenya.

In Kenya they got tigers.

Lions and tigers only in Kenya.

Forget Norway.

And bears.

Lions and tigers and bears.

I dunno… What are you planning to feed them?