After suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in my recent self-indulgent thread I am not a troll, sock puppet, parodist or satirist it became apparent to me that life is about more than politics. It is about a sense of belonging. There are those of us here on the SDMB who are not members of “the clique”. Personally, I wouldn’t join any clique that would have someone like me as a member, but that doesn’t mean I would be a founding member of such a clique. And it doesn’t mean I haven’t.
Now, some of you may want to be members of the clique and either join, or just be members. Eligibility is the first key. To be eligible, you must be either a SDMB member, or an unregistered lurker. Your user identification must not be readily identifiable as your real name. For example, if your name is Milhouse Eustace Buckner and your user name is M.E. Buckner, you are not eligible. No particular reason, but we must have some rules. Moderators and administrators, however, are granted associate membership status, whether they want it or not. But associate membership is kinda like being a freshman at Westpoint. Definitely junior.
Retaining membership. There will be certain rules to retaining membership that will be enforced by silent assent. (1) There must be no mention of being a member of the clique, except by this announcement, and this announcement only. I will never again mention that I am a member of this clique, even in this thread. If I have learned one thing in my time here, it is “never break character”, because that shows that you have no character. You can discuss this clique in this thread, but not outside the thread, but you cannot claim membership, even in this thread. (2) This clique is kinda like fight club. Never discuss the clique. Anyone who claims to be a member of taggert’s “clique” or “posse” (or any other such nomenclature) is definitely not a member. Anyone who discusses the clique outside of this thread is definitely not a member. (3) (a)To identify yourself to other clique members outside of this thread, you may not have non-board communications. But you may engage in the non-use of smilies in a particular post to indicate that you are logged into “clique” mode. You do that by not using smilies in any way in that post. Using brackets that don’t create smilies counts as smilies for the purpose of indicating you are not writing at that time as a clique member. (b) Alternatively, you may use any kind of smilie to indicate you are a clique member, provided you use a prime number of smilies: 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 etc… Using a non-prime number of smilies indicates that you are not at that time a clique member. (4) No clique member may be in logged in mode when using “Hi Opal” after the number “3” in a list. Nor may a clique member indicate being in clique mode by using “Hi Opal” after any other list number. You may be in clique mode when actual greeting anyone named Opal, provided that it is not a troll greeting. (5) You must follow all SDMB rules slavishly (no drooling!) whenever in clique mode. (6) TMI – too much information. You will be logged off of clique mode when giving personal TMI. However, you may give TMI about others and be in clique mode. E.g. your gross toenails are not proper clique information. Lil’ Ed’s toenail fungus frightening small rugrats is part of the TIPS program. (7) It is prohibited to determine the true identity of any member. For example, if someone, say Dr. Hugo Strange, were to disclose that user Batman was the secret identity of Bruce Wayne of Gotham City, or vice versa, or even attempt to find it out, Batman, Bruce Wayne and Dr. Hugo Strange would be disavowed as members for all time.
Purpose and goals of the clique. It is the purpose and stated goal of the clique to form a cadre of persons to take over the hierarchy of a tightly controlled and influential religious sub-group that will remain unnamed. This is a very influential sub-group of a very influential religion. The sub-group has a secret goal of taking over the religion in order to gain control over the influential religious group as a means of restoring morality in the world. In order to ensure that no other group takes over the sub group, we shall do so, and by controlling the sub group, eventually restore morality to the world, as described in my other posts.
The afterlife. After clique members die, they go the respective Heaven, Nirvanna’s, Paradise, Valhalla, Hells, Gehennas, Limbos, Purgatories, Sheols, etc. of their own true religion as they may have earned by their respective deities during their lifetimes. Reincarnationists will reincarnate as necessary. Atheists and agnostics will discover (or not) if they were correct, but will not be given any guidance.
This is it, this is your only notice. This offer void where prohibited by SDMB rules or laws of any nation or state.
In the meantime, we will have to use literature from similar groups. Newsletters: John Birch Society. Tracts: Jack Chick. Books. William Bennett and Ann Coulter. Remember, you must not identify yourself as a clique member, so obtain these materials anonymously, and do not be seen distributing them. Do not leave them to be found in places that might link their presence to you putting them there. Do not leave them in your basement apartment where your mother might find them while looking for your dirty clothing. You do love your mother, don’t you? :smack: