*New Game* Mystery Doper!

I sort of wished I could do a mystery date style game (but that would just result in another thread degenerating into an orgy), so the new game…

“Open the door… to your… Mystery Doper!”

Just guess who the doper is that is being described. Other people can add descriptions as they please.
The first:
“I have doomed the world by shaving off my beard”

Please god don’t let this thread degenerate into an orgy…

This would be our esteemed Moderator, Eutychus55.

Now here’s mine:

“I need some salsa to go with these feet.”


Next: “I have a band of frogs.”