Ten days ago, we brought home for the first time two Siamese kittens that we had bought from a breeder. They are three months old. My two kids (and us) were really looking forward to holding them, playing with them, etc. However we were disappointed when the kittens refused to leave the cat carrier for the first 4 hours, and ever since then, they run from us and try to take cover somewhere safe. If we approach them carefully, they will let us stroke them gently, and sometimes they even purr a bit, but they never approach us and so far we have not dared to try to pick them up. One of them has lightly bitten and scratched us. I should add that we had met them once at the breeder’s when they were 6 weeks old, and were able to hold them at that time.
Other than this timidity, they seem to be acting normally. They are eating and drinking normally, and are using the litter box. They are happy to run all over the house, and generally their timidity has slowly decreased. But the kids are still frustrated that they are not able to cuddle the kitties. I have done some research and see that an adaptation period is normal, but also see suggestions that perhaps they were not properly socialized by the breeder. I don’t know how much the breeder interacted with them.
It does take time - they are babies, so it is a huge adjustment. Your kids can help by giving them space and allowing the kitties to come to them. Yes, the breeder should have made more or an effort to socialize them, but they should come around. The other note is that some animals are just not that cuddly - or have other quirks.
Oh, man. I know how you feel. 2 Siamese sibs live with me. Siamese cats are notoriously assholes. Mine are 3yo. Very smart and finicky about everything. Food motivated. Try treats in hand while talking to them. It’ll work for awhile. I see glimpses of love occasionally. Good luck
Most cats don’t want to be “cuddled”. They will permit a careful petting. If you have fed a particular cat and have an ongoing relationship with that cat, the cat may permit you to hold it briefly while the cat purrs. Similarly, the cat may nest on your body when you sleep. But even then the cat isn’t really being “cuddled”, it’s more that the cat has chosen to nest near you.
So if you and your kids want to obtain affection from the cats, it helps to hand feed the cats, and don’t trap them by “cuddling”. Give the kitty careful strokes when the cat approaches you. It especially works well to hold your fingers in front of the cat so the cat can rub it’s cheek scent glands against your fingers.
First: what the fuck? You know the rules: pics or it didn’t happen!
It sounds to me like you need some help socializing your new feline overlords. Yours aren’t feral but they aren’t exactly domesticated either, so these videos may help.
Siamese are notorious for being high energy, very vocal and somewhat more aloof than most other breeds, so there may be extra considerations for them.
Be patient and don’t be afraid to seek someone in your area with experience who can help you; there are people who can and will. Local animal shelters, pet stores and vets may be able to help you find help if you need it.
Good luck!
ETA: if they are 12+ weeks old, you need to get started on this pronto. Cats develop a lot from 8-20 weeks.
If I ignore my cats they crawl all over me. If I invite them to my lap they leave the room. And when they first came to live with us they hid for several days. Cats: take them on their terms only!
Maybe not the best breed choice for children’s first cuddly kitties. A random rescue from the animal shelter would be better, IMHO.
Nevertheless, give them time and they will be much more friendly. Don’t crowd or rush them as children often do; let them approach you at their own speed. They will.
I got a stray cat at about 6 weeks. He can be my shadow and not want to be petted at the same time. I can try and pet him and he walks away only to throw himself in front of me 30 seconds later and demand a back rub. He will reject any calls for him to come and will ruthlessly hound me if I shoo him away.
He’s a cat.
With that said I’ve been wearing him down over the years. I can now cradle him on his back and rub his head and tummy to his satisfaction. It took 4 years to get him to come around.
Really, Meezers are known to be big time cuddlers. Noisy cuddlers, too.
I have two and they’re the most social cats I know.
But with most cats, you gotta give them time. They’ll come around, just let them come to you – do NOT chase them. Perhaps lure them with treats? But let them make the first move.
And they may never like to be picked up. I have a cat who’s very affectionate, but she LOATHES being held. She will start kicking and squirming and yowling like she’s being tortured. She doesn’t try to scratch or hiss, but she struggles like mad. The second you put her down, she’s fine.
Some cats are extremely cuddly and others are not and never will be. (IME this has little to do with the breed; but I haven’t been around that many purebred cats. Certainly your random “domestic shorthair” varies widely.) Yet others are very cuddly but only with the specific people they choose to cuddle with and/or at the specific times when they’re in the mood.
In addition, a cat who might be cuddly with one or two people may feel overwhelmed when there are multiple people, especially when some of them are young children.
Which of those categories the two you’ve got come into will become clearer with time; but the time might be months or even years.
Agreeing with those who say you have to let the cats come to you. Don’t push them; you might push them entirely out of category only-when-and-with-whom-I-want into category never-again.
I disagree. Don’t wait for the cats to come to you. You have to pull them in, however gently. Food motivation + transference + patience = calm domestic cat.
Food is one thing but even then you need to put the food out and then go someplace else so they can eat in private. Cats do NOT like being pressured in any way.
I disagree that Meezers aren’t cuddly. My last one, a bluepoint boy, was the most cuddly cat I’ve had. I do agree that yours sound unsocialized. I’ve found that treats along with playing brings kittens out of their shells. Slide treats across the floor to them, or have them chase after a treat. Have your kids play with them using a laser toy. Of course, your kids should be monitored so they’re not handling the kittens inappropriately or exhausting them. This can be a good lesson in patience and tolerance for your kids.
You’re going to have to accept that by getting kittens, you’ve got an unknown quantity that may never be the companions you expected. Cats have to be taken on their own terms. Some people can’t deal with that.
My 2 are decidedly not cuddly. Bear my male will come sit beside me on the arm of the chair. Meeko the girl will lay on my one leg in a hunched position. Sometimes she tucks her head between her front legs. If you touch without an invite they leave immediately. They meow loudly, they purr super loud. And they howl with decibeld you wouldnt believe.
Love my babys, anyway.
