Just to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am Jesus, I’ll forgive you for that.
Nachos in sheep dip, he’s right! In that passage there are 32 words, 113 letters.
32 or 3+2 = 5, which is the number of letters in both April and Nisan, the name of the concurrent Hebrew month. It’s also the day of the month in April, and (don’t get ahead of me) the number of letters, 113 is 14 displayed as 1+13, and the date in Nisan is the 14th. Now, the year is 2004 and if you add 113 and 32 you get 145, (also repeating the date in both calendars!) and 1 x 4 x 5 = 20, or the first 2 dates of the year, Gregorian. 1 x 1+ 3 = 4, or 04, the last 2 dates in the year, completing 5 April 2004. The Hebrew year is 5764. Looking back at the 32 words we take the number 32 again. 3 + 2 =5, 32 = 2 x 16, and 1+ 6 =7, and 64 = 11 - 3, 8 x 3 of 2, or 2 cubed, or 8. Therefore the Hebrew calendar is also complete at 14 Nisan 5764.
It’s so simple!
Excuse me. I think I need to lie down for a bit.
Are you sure it isn’t Toyota?
:ducks and runs:
KFC, right? It’s better for your health than Whoppers, you know!
So should I be cowering under my desk, or going out to stock up on party supplies?
Hmmph, it’s April 5 and the fundies are still here.
Maybe, but I prefer Solid Chocolate Rapture Bunnies.
The day’s still youn
Soooooo, did the rapture happen yet? I wake up late this morning.
But I thought our Lord told Pat Robertson that there would be an election, and that Bush will win in a landslide!
I can only conclude that, by the close of business today, one or the other will not have ascended to the Clouds of Glory[sup]TM[/sup], and we can tell from that which one is a false prophet.
Turns on the 700 Club
Uh oh…
Regards,
Shodan
Doo de doo de doo…
:looks at watch:
So…when’s this rapture supposed to happen? Because, like, I’m pretty sure the guy next door is gonna float, and I plan to grab his Mercedes when he does.
dum de dum dum dum…
This “waiting for salvation” shit’s pretty dull.
What I want to know is, when Jesus come back, will he bring pie?
Ouch! Stop hitting me!
The faithless rabble gets pie.
True Believers get Red Velvet Cake™.
Hey! This explains why half of my 1st Period class was missing this morning!
(Checks roll sheet)
These students?
Never mind… 
The Rapture just happened. Nobody noticed because nobody qualified.
Are you sure that we have some of those left?
The virgins…not the chips.
~J
Hollow Chocolate Tombs
I think it was RTFirefly who goes around claiming that the Rapture happened about thirty years back, but the only one taken was Jimmy Hoffa.
Which would mean that God is a Mafia capo.
Who arranged a hit on His own Son.
Regards,
Shodan
Yeah! It’s the last day of the world !
White Chocolate Jesus filled with Liquid Cherry Center are what I will bring to the clambake.
Heee.
That’s if they don’t melt in the Rapture.
Fucking heretics. May you burn for eternity in a lake of flaming cream cheese frosting.