And The Onion moves from satire to prescience.
A box of ersatz-sugar cubes with a sticker saying “goodest sleping pils” covering a Chinese label saying “fake sugar, not for human consumption. Best before 6-7-1977”.
A half brick or a sock are both useful AND they work.
A sock with forty commemorative CFEFWSG golden coins. The sock is lined with double-sewn duck to insure the extremely valuable coins remain inside as the sleep-inducing tolchok is delivered.
Yours for only 45 easy monthly payments of $44.99!
The Transportation Department’s internal watchdog has referred Elaine Chao to the Justice Department for ethics violations.
More on that (non-paywalled):
Well, of course she did! Duh. No big surprise there.
I pitted her this morning:
Donald Trump ‘draining the swamp’ would be like a logger, sitting high up in a tree, cutting through the trunk below him.
“When all else fails, blame Asian culture.”
– Elaine Chao (paraphrased).
She should be kept under a close watch, less she attack herself on strictly racial grounds.
These excuses are getting more and more pathetic. No one was saying Elaine Chao shouldn’t do nice things for her family. Obviously, the problem was that Elaine Chao was sticking the bill to the taxpayers, instead of paying for it herself.
If she wants to claim that it’s an essential core value in Asian communities to shift your personal expenses onto taxpayers, then…give it a shot, Elaine. Give it your best shot.
“Mitch made me do it! Wha-wah-wah! He said it was okay. He said it was the
American Asian American Asian patriotic thing to do! Family values!”
That would be entertaining, I suppose, but she’d never do it (break down, I mean).
They will brazen it through. The only thing that might change the usual ‘they get away with it’ outcome is if enough of the public keeps the story—and the disgust—in the forefront of the news. (Some prominent Asian-Americans giving their opinions on Chao’s “excuse” might help.)
Also, some racist anti-Chinese Trumpublicans might find their racist Sinophobia overcoming their Trumpublicanism long enough to disapprove of Chao for this.
That’s unlikely. It’s okay when a Chinese-American Republican does it.
I seriously doubt I’m going out on a limb here by thinking the clown, er, pastor in this story out of Missouri is Republican:
A Missouri pastor is on leave after delivering a sermon telling women to lose weight and submit to the sexual desires of their husbands to keep them from straying.
If you want your irony meter to get pegged, check out the article’s picture of that preacher.
I wasn’t aware the Eleventh Commandment was “No fat chicks”.
He didn’t say nuthin’ 'bout men.
OK, the first four are obviously Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, but I’m not sure whether you’re calling Taoism, Falun Gong, Shintoism, or atheism the fifth major religion.
Sen. Ron fucking Johnson is frosting my shorts this morning.
I sincerely hope he sat in chambers and listened to the full damn reading of the Covid relief bill that he demanded because “we should know what’s in the bill”. (nope, he didn’t) My understanding is that it was read to an empty chamber with only one token Democrat and one Republican in attendance.
Btw, 80 Americans died during each hour that the bill was read and delayed.
I would have guessed Judaism.
Correct. I suppose argument could be made for a sixth – Jainism. It has the appeal of symmetry, three Abrahamic, three dharmic.