NEW Stupid Republican Idea of the Day (Part 1)

“You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.”


Gov. Greg Abbott announced Tuesday that he is ending Texas’ statewide mask mandate next week and will allow all businesses to operate at full capacity.

“It is now time to open Texas 100%,” Abbott said from a Mexican restaurant in Lubbock, arguing that Texas has fought the coronavirus pandemic to the point that “people and businesses don’t need the state telling them how to operate” any longer.

Abbott said he was rescinding “most of the earlier executive orders” he has issued over the past year to stem the spread of the virus. He said starting next Wednesday, “all businesses of any type are allowed to open 100%” and masks will no longer be required in public.

Meanwhile, the spread of the virus remains substantial across the state, with Texas averaging over 200 reported deaths a day over the last week. And while Abbott has voiced optimism that vaccinations will accelerate soon, less than 7% of Texans had been fully vaccinated as of this weekend.

My bold.

Well, those 200-ish people who die every day are probably people we don’t much like anyway.

The Governor of Mississippi also said he’s reopening the state and ending the mask mandate.

Texas, look on the bright side. You know what’s a great way to thaw out after a few weeks without power and heat? A good covid infection fever! Give your Republicans my regards!

Don’t forget water!

But it’s only 390,000.

And those are the 390K that we don’t like much anyway.

A half-brick tied up in a sock.

Every bully has a toady.

It occurs to me that coronavirus recovery has been going well during the first month of Biden’s presidency. By opening everything up, that progress will likely slow down on many fronts (more fights over masking up, more superspreader events) and then the Pubs can blame Biden for screwing up. Win-win!

It’s a good party.

I’ve been trying to find a clip from an old Looney Tunes cartoon where someone picks up a bottle labeled “Take Dese and Doze.” Removing the cap reveals a hammer which the user employs on his head.

Are we sure this isn’t about Lindsey fantasizing about being a Little Mermaid?

my emphasis in quote

Totally on board with your jib.
They’ll probably go after Fauci too, just for whatever icing they can possibly throw on this.
As has been pointed out before - accidentally-on-purpose GOP mistakes to be alchemized into Democratic ones, later on.

I used to muse aloud that, behind the scenes, the NeoCons and GWBush’s advisers – in re: Iraq and Afghanistan – were saying …

“Hey. If it turns into a shit-show, we can lay it at Obama’s feet, and if, by some miracle, it turns out well, we can take all the credit for it.”

When it comes to politics, I’ve never turned out to have been not cynical enough.

Now if something could be done about that freakishly long neck…

I remember hearing Florence Henderson sing it at the start of an Indy Car race sometime in the late 1990s or early 2000s. Her pitch kept drifting up and up, probably because it was noisy and she couldn’t hear herself properly. It was painful, and the worst version I heard until Roseanne, and now this.

The plot thickens gets chunky.

Days afterwards, a business partner of Mr Zegan reached-out to Politico to say that while the golden statue was assembled in Mexico, where the creator lives as an American expat, the replica of the former president was in-fact made in China.

“Everything is made in China,” one of Mr Zegan’s business partners, Jose Mauricio Mendoza, told Político on Tuesday. “I want to be straight, because if I’m going to sell these statues, they have to be true.”

Fabricated in China, Assembled in Mexico, used at a rally celebrating a man who campaigns about bringing jobs back to the USA because too many foreigners are stealing our jobs.

Yup – sounds perfect.

Good 'ole Gov. Abbott. Opening up the state for business.

And The Onion moves from satire to prescience.

A box of ersatz-sugar cubes with a sticker saying “goodest sleping pils” covering a Chinese label saying “fake sugar, not for human consumption. Best before 6-7-1977”.

A half brick or a sock are both useful AND they work.