News Headlines - idle amusement division

Actual CNN Breaking News Headline:

Obama departs for Canada

(Washington - February 19) The leaders of the coup in the United States allowed former President Obama to board a flight to Ottawa today. . .

Southwest warned pilots of Buffalo issues
Geeze, the geese were bad enough, but now we’ve got freaking bison wandering onto the runways or something?

Keanu Cleared of Pap Smear
We at EW put the eww in news!

**http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b66894_keanu_cleared_of_pap_smear.html

**

Lay Judiciary On Track

Let’s see what the 5:15 to Newark thinks of your activist rulings!

Police rub out Beaver County massage parlor

What makes this even funnier for me is that we drove past this place many times. It was in a grotty, long-vacant block building. A sheet was hung in the storefront window as a curtain. It was on a fairly empty stretch of road near the turnpike exit, 1/4 mile down from the adult bookstore, and it didn’t open until about 10:00 p.m. Many nights we drove past around midnight and it was still open.
They could have at least *tried *to make it look legit.