A teacher has been arrested in possession of compasses, protractors, and
straight edge rulers. It is claimed he was a member of the Al Gebra movement
bearing weapons of maths instruction.
This joke has been pre-groaned.
No it hasn’t. groan!!
My grandmother had her knitting needles confiscated by TSA a the airport. They were afraid she was going to make an Afghan.
There was a lady at one of our gas stations recently who spilled some gas on her coat sleeve. She lit up a cigarette when she got back in her car and of course her sleeve caught fire. So she jumped out of the car and started flapping her arm around, trying to put it out (I guess she was too panicked to do that whole “stop, drop, and roll” thing Dick Van Dyke used to do commercials about) and one of the cops pulled into the lot, saw her, and shot her.
In his report he noted that when he arrived on scene the subject was waving a firearm.
You may now commence throwing things at me. I’ll duck, though.
< slaps Quartz with wet trout >
I was driving to my mom’s house in Connecticut for Thanksgiving a few years ago. It’s a road I’ve driven a million times, so I admit I wasn’t paying that much attention. I went around a curve and was stunned to see a huge turkey in the middle of the road. By the time I saw it, it was too late to swerve, and slammed it head on. The turkey flew up onto the hood, rolled over the roof and smacked into the windshield of the car behind me. I stopped to see if the driver was okay, and just my luck, it was a cop.
Luckily, he wasn’t injured, but he did have the nerve to give me a ticket. Stunned, I looked at the ticket. My infraction?
Flipping the bird.
You know, once, a bunch of toadstools got together to have a party. It was really crowded inside the bar where they met up…
There wasn’t mushroom, but they didn’t mind because they were all such fungis.
To all of the above posters:
[muted cornet]Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaah…[/mc]
Oh, and getting slapped with a cold fish.
I’ve just spotted a terror wrist.
Longer version of the joke in the OP, with a much higher groan-factor:
http://www.jacobsen.no/anders/blog/archives/2004/01/06/weapons_of_math_instruction.html
This just in: 2 coal mimers are trapped inside an invisible box. Although they can clearly be seen deperately searching and groping for a way out, as of late this evening they are still trapped. Sensitive listening equipment has been used in an attempt to determine the coal mimer’s condition, but results have been less than encouraging.
Several of the mimer’s coworkers were contacted but have declined to comment.
Okay. **That ** was funny.