I’m a great fan of well-written headlines. Some headline writers seem to regard working puns, double meanings, or other jokes into their work as a sacred obligation.
The Colorado Springs Gazette comes up with some pretty good ones every once in a while. Just yesterday, an article about the local housing market had one – “More underwater homes dry out.”
Then there are the famous ones: “Headless Body in Topless Bar”; “Sticks Nix Hick Pix”; etc.
My all-time favorite is one in an obscure book we have called I’ll Trade You an Elk; it’s memories from a guy whose Father ran the Wichita Zoo during the 1930’s. He recalls reading an article about another zoo that was planning to build a new Platypus House, right next to the Panda House.
The headline? “New Platypusery to Rise by Pandamonium.”
This requires a bit of set up. Scottish soccer team Inverness Caledonian Thistle (commonly referred to as “Cally”) have just beaten the supposedly far superior Glasgow Celtic by 3 goals to 1. The victors are unsurprisingly delighted, although by all accounts Celtic gave a poor performance during the match. The headline in The Sun:
SICK TRANSIT’S GLORIOUS MONDAY – New York Daily News reporting a state transit bailout, which occurred on a weekend, restoring transit service Monday morning.
The late, unlamented (published only seven months) St. Louis Sun is remembered for a headline about a woman’s lawsuit against a man she alleged to have nibbled forcefully on her ass while at a bar.