NFL 2023: WEEK FIVE will get you ten

The Game Room
1

Well, things are starting to settle down in the NFL. We knew the Chiefs and Bills would be great, and they’re both 3-1, but neither has looked dominant overall (although the Bills shaming of the Dolphins was impressive). Same in the NFC, where we knew the Eagles, Niners, and Cowboys would all be good … and they are. Very good. We also knew the Panthers, Cardinals, and Raiders wouldn’t be good, and they really aren’t. The huge surprises so far are the collapse of the Bengals (it can’t all be due to one calf injury, can it?), the kinda rise of the Texans (2-2 despite being picked to finish last in the league), and the loss of Aaron Rodgers collapsing the Jets’ hopes. How Zach Wilson still has a job is beyond me.

I personally am enjoying the tough start for two over-acheiving teams from last year, the Vikings and the Giants. Both teams are 1-3 and neither looks like they have another gear to shift into. I still chuckle a little to myself that Daniel Jones is making $40 million a year after being rewarded for not completely sucking while the Giants’ got hot last year. And watching Bears fans react to their team is, as usual, priceless.

It’s also good to be reminded that Sean Payton is still a douchebag. Sorry Broncos fans, but he’s a dick. Oh, and byes start this week. So take a breath Chargers fans. If there are any Charger fans…

Here’s your games:

Thursday Night Football

Chicago Bears (+6) at Washington Commanders (-6)

Sunday, October 8th, 2023

London (8:30 am)

Jacksonville Jaguars (+5.5) at Buffalo Bills (-5.5)

Early

Houston Texans (+2.5) at Atlanta Falcons (-2.5)
Carolina Panthers (+8.5) at Detroit Lions (-8.5)
Tennessee Titans (+1) at Indianapolis Colts (-1)
New York Giants (+9.5) at Miami Dolphins (-9.5)
New Orleans Saints (+1) at New England Patriots (-1)
Baltimore Ravens (-4) at Pittsburgh Steelers (+4)

Late

Cincinnati Bengals (-4.5) at Arizona Cardinals (+4.5)
Philadelphia Eagles (-5.5) at Los Angeles Rams (+5.5)
New York Jets (+2.5) at Denver Broncos (-2.5)
Kansas City Chiefs (-5.5) at Minnesota Vikings (+5.5)

Night

Dallas Cowboys (+3.5) at San Francisco 49ers (-3.5)

Monday Night Football

Green Bay Packers (-1) at Las Vegas Raiders (+1)

Thursday’s game, which I’ve entitled the QB Dissociative Identity Disorder game of the week, will be interesting to me. I missed Justin Fields’ astounding statistical day last week, so I’ll watch to see if he’s actually is getting better, or if it really was the “playing the Broncos” benefit masking his struggles. And Sam Howell, who also can’t decide if he’s good or bad, is still young. More than likely, though, I’ll dip out (I’m hip with the kids’ lingo!) early in the game. Life’s too short to watch too much bad football.

I’m intrigued by the morning game Sunday. I expected Trevor Lawrence to take another big step this year, but he’s not impressing too much yet. He’s been fine … I just expected more. And I love me some Josh Allen v. Josh Allen action.

As to the early games, I will literally pay people rather than be forced to watch the Atlanta Falcons again, and against the Texans, I think I’d rather eat broken glass. Raven/Steelers is usually pretty fun, but that Steelers offense can make anyone bored out of their skull. Still, some good defensive play will be available to watch.

The afternoon is for a couple teams that have really surprised me this year. The Cardinals are playing hard and better than they should be, and the Rams’ are seriously outperforming my expectations after their dismal year last year. Sure those teams aren’t playing each other, but the games should be fun to watch.

The Game of The Week is clearly Sunday Night Football. Two top 5 teams, with a long history of animosity and great games, going head to head in a potential NFC Championship preview. Must watch football! Plus … Brock Purdy!

So which teams have surprised you so far this year? Which team is going to use Week 5 as a turn-around point? And when the fuck can we stop talking about Taylor Swift? Jesus.

Let’s hear from you.

2

Did you not watch Jets vs Chiefs last Sunday night? After a shaky first quarter, Wilson looked damn impressive for the next 2 1/2 periods. He avoided the pressure, made the right reads, and threw some really pinpoint passes. Yes, his fumble in the middle of the fourth cost the Jets a chance to tie or take the lead, but until that play, he was the better quarterback on the field after the first quarter. Can he continue that level of play? I guess we’ll find out.

Buffalo looks like the best team in the AFC, as they totally dismantled the Fins. Chiefs haven’t looked like themselves, yet, and the Ravens are also playing good football. Niners/Boys is definitely must-see TV.

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I wouldn’t say Wilson looked ‘damn impressive,’ but he did look like a real quarterback. If he continues to play like that, the Jets will win a lot of games.

4

I’m not sure what do with a line where the Lions are favored by two scores. That…just doesn’t compute. I like this universe, but I’m still not used to it.

There are a few requirements for living in Portland:

  1. You must keep your Antifa membership up to date
  2. You must root for the Ducks
  3. You must root for Ducks who make it big in the NFL. Thus, there are a lot of Charger fans here.
5

Seahawks get a much-needed rest. A chance to get un-dinged-up.

I’ll probably watch Thursday night out of train-wreck curiosity.

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As an aside, I will be watching live football tonight, as I’m going to my first ever six-man game. There will be much more scoring than TNF.

Carry on.

7

So…there’s a Reddit rumor going around. The best kind of rumor…the one started by a friend who knows a guy. The rumor is that the Bears have contacted Lovie Smith and are making arrangements for him to take over should Eberflus shit the bed again in week 5.

If this happens, I’m going to say I called it.

8

As a Giants fan it would be easy to blame Daniel Jones for their problems. However, the big problem is that they can’t block on offense or tackle on defense. Oh yeah, with the exception of K Graham Gano special teams sucks ass. It’s sad when your team’s best player is the kicker.

9

Lol, why was I thinking the Anaheim Ducks (NHL)?

Yeah, I get it now, Oregon Ducks in college football

10

Look out on Sunday, Broncos coach Sean Payton. Jets players are already beating you over the head with mixed-up metaphors for having previously trashed former Denver coach and current Jets offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett.

Sean Payton in criticizing the previous coaching regime had said there were “20 dirty hands” around Russell Wilson. So Hackett got dragged through the mud and had to wash up all over again.

Thrown (or dragged) under the bus, dragged through the mud, eaten by starving baby elephants…Hackett will want big time payback on Sunday.

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Even speaking as a fan of the Bears’ biggest rivals, I always knew that Buktus was a legend, one of the best middle linebackers ever, and an icon of the league. I’d just heard him on a radio ad for something a night or two ago. Very sad news.

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Was at a work happy hour here in Chicago. Butkus was before my time, but most people here knew all about him.

14

I am too invested in hoping the Ravens beat the Steelers. I can’t watch, I’ll check the score on my phone. Steelers are now my least favorite team, replacing the Patriots after what Minkah did.
I feel I should root for the Vikings, maybe they’ll do better.
Always love the Chiefs.

15

He was on the sideline during Bears-Packers in week one.

I think watching this current Bears defense might have killed him.

16

Holy crap, the Bears are looking good to start this game. Why do they do this to me?

17

This is pretty much on par for the season. The offense generally looks sharp for the scripted set of plays. The defense getting a couple stops is unexpected.

18

The Bears really don’t want Lovie Smith back.

19

Where had this team been hiding?

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2nd half now, prepare for Bears suck.