NFL Predictions Week 2

In My Humble Opinion
1

Here we are again. Last week was some of the most exciting, crappy, surprising football I’ve seen in a long time. How does Miami lose to Houston? How do you let your starting Safety go to a team in your division the very week before you play them? :smack: There are more than a few coaches and other decision makers who need to put down the crack pipe. Favorite in CAPS

Sunday’s Games

BUFFALO @ Jacksonville. 2.5, 43

Speaking of smoking crack, who thought up that line? Buffalo in a laugher take the under. No way in hell does the Jaguars cover.

Cleveland @ BALTIMORE. 2.5, 41

Memo to Cleveland City Council: please add an “A” to the spelling of your city. Memo to Las Vegas: Stop with the half points and lay off the crack. Baltimore wins this one. I’d take the over. Cleveland won’t cover either.

Detroit @ GREEN BAY 6.5, 46.5

Better but still with the half points. Green Bay redeems themselves giving the hometown fans something to watch. Marriucci is winless as the opposing coach in Cheeseville, today won’t be any different. Take the under, Detroit covers.

Houston @ NO. 9, 40.5

Houston made an idiot out me last week, but this time I’m sure. Saints cream the Texans. Houston won’t cover; take the over.

MIAMI @ NY Greens. 3, 37

Does Vegas have collective memory loss? Miami finds ways to lose to the Jets. They do, I don’t care how much they’re leading by; they will find a way to lose to the Jets. It’s the most consistent thing in Football. Let’s see here’s my prediction, Dolphins will take and early lead. Then Fielder will throw an “interception”, somebody else will fumble; momentum will swing like a wrecking ball in the Jets favor. Count on it. BTW, I put interception in quotes because almost without fail when Fielder throws one no Dolphin will be within a hundred feet of where Fielder throws the ball. The TV people will have to pan way out to find his target. Jets “upset”.

Pittsburgh @ KANSAS CITY 3, 47

Pitt doesn’t cover, take the under.

San Francisco @ ST. LOUIS 3, 47

As I said in the previous thread, I always pick SF. But this time I’m doing in with good reason. SFs Defense will swarm like an angry cloud of bees. I also thing Warner will lobby all week to start, I say Martz falls for it Saturday, and loses his job at the end of the season. Alternately Bulger starts and gets sacked nine times. Either way Niner’s win. I sure can dream can’t I?
Tennessee @ INDY 2.5, 41

What the hell? I didn’t make that up. No freaking way will you see anything like that. Titan’s win. The Titans were pretty much out of sync last week in their win of Oakland, I expect that to be different this time around, but where I expect this game to rest is on defense. Titans win in a squeaker.

Washington @ ATLANTA 3, 39

Atlanta surprised me last week, not this time though. This game should be an offensive lovers dream. Take the over, and take the Skins.

Carolina @ TAMPA BAY 9 OFF

There’s gonna be a mauling in Tampa, cone Sunday. Somebody put that to country music for me. Nothing wrong with that line at all.

SEATTLE @ Arizona 4.5, 44.5

Seattle should win this game handily. I don’t see the Cardinals beating the spread, or a troop of boy scouts for that matter. I might take them in a match up against little old ladies though.

Cincinnati @ OAKLAND 11.5, 45

Memo to Cincinnati City Council: Please remove an “N” and add a “T” to the spellinf of your city. Memo to Cincinnati Fans: Find something else to watch Sunday. Memo to Raiders fans: Yes you got done in by the refs last week, lets not use it as an excuse all season. Raiders win, most of that 45 will be the Raiders score, take the under though.

DENVER @ San Diego 3, 43

In all match ups of AFC West teams this year, take the over. I’ll take San Diego to upset this game.

NW @ PHILLY 5.5, OFF

Philly wins and covers the spread. If were really lucky, McNabb will shave off that ridiculous looking beard.

Chicago @ MINNESOTA 8.5, 46.5

Yes another mugging for you Chicago fans. Hey call up the folks in Cincinnati, they won’t be doing anything, maybe you guys could go out for a beer or something. Minnesota wins and covers.

Monday Night

Dallas @ NY BLUES 7.5, 37

Good thing those helmets have Stars, Parcells will be used to seeing them when he gets knocked out by the Bluemen. Bonus Prediction: Madden will irritate everyone by stating the obvious. NY in a sleeper.

[color-red]Go Niner’s[/color]

2

Buffalo @ Jax - Buffalo and the under. (2.5? You sure there’s a decimal?)

Cleveland @ Bal - Baltimore and the under.

Detroit @ GB - Green Bay wins, Detroit covers and the over.

Houston @ NO - Saints win, Houston covers and the over.

Miami @ Jets - Fins, Jets don’t cover and the over.

Stillers @ KC - Pittsburgh wins, over.

SF @ StL - Niners win, under.

Tennessee @ Indy - Tennessee wins, over. (McNair helps to wreak havoc and strike terror in the hearts of my fantasy enemies. Muahahahahaha)

Skins @ Atlanta - Skins win, over.

Carolina @ Tampa - Tampa, Carolina wont’ cover.

Seattle @ Arizona - Seattle wins, Arizona no cover, over. (Sean Alexander runs rampant and smites my fantasy enemies. Muahahahahahaha)

Cinci @ Oakland - Ick. Oakland, Cinci doesn’t come close to the cover, over.

Denver @ SD - Denver. SD won’t cover, over.

NE @ Philly - Philly wins, but NE takes the spread. Over.

Chicago @ Minny - Minnesota, Chicago won’t cover, and under.

Dallas @ Gints - Giants destroy the Boys and cover the spread. Over.

3

Just noticed.

In the Buffalo game take the under.

Jets game take the over.

Niner’s game under.

Tennesee game under.

Seattle game under.

San Diego beats the spread.

And on Monday night Bluedudes cover and over. I figure Quincy Carter just might make a touchdown, and they’ve got a kicker right so they might generate a few points. The Blues will handle the 37.

4

Just so you know, Stuffy, Martz is not going to start Warner on Sunday. He’s not even considering Warner as a backup. It’s set in stone as far as Martz is concerned; he’s too worried about Warner getting hurt worse. Martz is listening to only the doctors here and is not going to give in to Warner unless the doctors clear him to play (which they haven’t).

5

I don’t do these often, because I’m usually wrong- like George Costanza, I could win by betting the opposite of what I think. Here goes…

BUFFALO @ Jacksonville
Brunell has another good season in him. Buffalo will be full of themselves with last weeks’ lambasting of the Pats. Jacksonville wins.

Cleveland @ BALTIMORE
Baltimore’s defense should be inspired, and they should just squeak by Cleveland.

Detroit @ GREEN BAY
This game is Favre’s to lose. He is feeling the pressure, and will throw one too many interceptions. Detroit wins.

Houston @ NO
New Orleans will not be caught sleeping like Miami. NO wins a close one.

MIAMI @ NY JETS
The Jets do have Miami’s number, don’t they? Buck the trend, Ricky Williams will not be denied, and Chris Chambers is going to snag enough passes to make the Jets secondary weep.

Pittsburgh @ KANSAS CITY
Da Stillers have their work cut out for them. Hines Ward should be the game-breaker, and Holmes will be kept down to a normal yardage amount. This game hurts me so much because of my fantasy teams- a heavy dose of Priest, with a sprinkling of Gonzalez.

San Francisco @ ST. LOUIS
Frisco in a roll. The Rams are slipping back into obscurity- it was Vermeil all the time.

Tennessee @ INDIANAPOLIS
McNair, McNair, McNair… his bandwagon is getting full already. Peyton Manning will find himself and outscore the Flaming Thumbtacks.

Washington @ ATLANTA
Atlanta is just marking time until Vick returns. The Skins have more to prove, and will win convincingly.

Carolina @ TAMPA BAY
There are amazing upsets almost every week. This is not one of them, even if He Hate Me is showing that he has what it takes to last in the NFL. Keyshawn will have a good day, Tampa wins easily.

SEATTLE @ Arizona
The “who cares” game of the week. Ehhh… I guess Arizona.

Cincinnati @ OAKLAND
Oakland. Not even close.

DENVER @ San Diego
Denver will win this one, but San Diego will make it interesting.

NE @ PHILLY
The Iggles won’t lose two in a row in their new house.

Chicago @ MINNESOTA
Kordell Stewart will be the star of the game- for Minnesota. Good day for Moss, Vikes win.

Dallas @ NY GIANTS
Tuna’s return will be spoiled by either bad mayo or bad play calling- Giants in control early and all the way.

6

{{{BUMP}}}

Just want to give everyone more time to make there picks.

7

I thought I’d pop into at least one of these threads so you’d all know how inept I am at picking, and further understand why I’ll probly not be in again.:wink: Here goes…and no grumblin’ about spellin’.

Buffalo
Baltimore-(toss a coin)
Green Bay-(if these two teams performed like last week…)
Nawlin’s-(toss again)
Miami-(I’m slapping myself as I speak)
Pittsburg
Frisco-(a girl’s gotta stay loyal ya know?)
Tenna…Tenne…Titans
Atlanta
Tampa Bay
Seattle-(can’t they both loose?)
chOakland-(bite me Steve)
Denver
Philly
Minisoda-(that’d be yer small coke)
N.Y. Giants

8

My picks:

Buffalo
Baltimore
Green Bay
N.O.
Miami
K.C.
St. Louis
Tennessee
Atlanta
Tampa
Seattle
Oakland
San Diego
New England
Minnesota (in a blowout)
NY Giants

9

Yeah, like you’re going to trick me into writing up a bunch of intelligent comments again, only to have the hamsters eat it. Okay, maybe, but not just now.

10

I’ll preface this by saying that I did just about as well, if not better, picking winners and losers as a kid by basing my decisions entirely on uniform’s colors than I do now with knowledge of players and trends and statistics.

I don’t bet, but if I did:

Sunday’s Games

BUFFALO @ Jacksonville. 2.5, 43

Buffalo will be riding high, especially the ex-Pat’s, and Jacksonville will be looking to redeem themselves. Gotta give it to Buffalo though. They’ll cover and I’d take the over.

Cleveland @ BALTIMORE. 2.5, 41

Baltimore will beat Cleveland and cover the spread, but I’d take the under. Bring a pillow and a blankie.

Detroit @ GREEN BAY 6.5, 46.5

Favre may not be anywhere near his MVP form, but he’s surrounded by better talent than Detroit can muster. Detroit looked good last week, but me and my sister could look good against Arizona. Green Bay wins, covers, and I’d take the over. GB’s offense should wake up this week and Detroit will get on the boards more often than one who’s followed their seasons for the last 10 years might think.

Houston @ NO. 9, 40.5

New Orleans will give Houston a reality check. Saints to win and cover, but I’d take the under.

MIAMI @ NY Jets 3, 37

Both teams are still reeling from week one, but I think the Jets are about out of miracles, even against Miami. Miami to win and cover. I’d take the under.

Pittsburgh @ KANSAS CITY 3, 47

Holmes is just too much even for Pittsburgh to stop. KC to win and cover, I’d take the under.

San Francisco @ ST. LOUIS 3, 47

St. Louis is the favorite here? Have to wonder about that. SF to win. Tough call but I’d take the over figuring SF should score about 34 and St. Louis about 16.

Tennessee @ INDY 2.5, 41

Two of my least favorite teams. As much as I hate to admit it, Tennessee looks good this year and I have to pick them over Indy. Titans win, and I’d take the over.

Washington @ ATLANTA 3, 39

I’m a bit worried about most people seeming to think Washington will win. They’re notorious for losing games they’re expected to win. Good to see at least Atlanta is favored here. Though I’m a Skins fan, I think I’m justified in picking them to win over Atlanta. Their secondary is too strong for the Birds passing game, and Arrington will have a field day. So long as Ramsey shows up to play he can have an average day like he did last week and still put enough points on the board to win. Skins to win, I’d take the under. Note: Look for B.Smith to get a little closer to White’s sack record.

Carolina @ TAMPA BAY 9 OFF

As much as I despise Sapp, he’s surrounded by one of the best teams in the league and Carolina can’t match them on any level. TB to win and cover.

SEATTLE @ Arizona 4.5, 44.5

Seattle is vastly improved on defense from last year, but they won’t even need it against Arizona. Seattle to win, cover easily, and I’d take the over. The only way I foresee the game total not being over is if Holmgren decides to bench his starters when the game is well under control sometime in the 2nd quarter, and even then it would be hard not to score.

Cincinnati @ OAKLAND 11.5, 45

Cinci has been the Bungles as long as I’ve been following football and if their new coach is going to have any real effect, it won’t be seen this season. Oakland with something to prove will trounce Cinci and cover. I’d take the over.

DENVER @ San Diego 3, 43

Gotta go with SD this game. Denver’s got the running game in Portis, but SD has always been a decent run stopper. I still carry my doubts about Plummer. Giving an adequate QB more targets doesn’t change the fact that he’s still merely adequate. SD to win. I’d take the under in this snoozefest.

NE @ PHILLY 5.5, OFF

Both teams with something to prove, but Philly has home field advantage and won’t make it 0-2 in their new stadium. Both teams should come out firing to finally score their first points of the season, but Philadelphia will win. I’m going out on a limb and say NE will keep it close and Philly won’t cover.

Chicago @ MINNESOTA 8.5, 46.5

It amazes me how quickly the Bears defense went from being argued as one of the best to as porous as a sponge. They’ve still got one of the best linebackers in Urlacher, but not even he’s good enough to stop Moss when he decides to play. Vikings to win and cover, I’d take the over.

Monday Night

Dallas @ NY BLUES 7.5, 37

Nothing gives me as much pleasure during football season as watching Dallas get their asses kicked. Dallas fans, avert your eyes on Monday for the Giants will make them look like a Pee-Wee team. Giants to win and cover, I’d take the over.

11

Busy time of year for me and I haven’t chance to pay attention to any but the home team (Go Browns) so I wont venture a guess to all the other games I wont be watching. That said and with a complete and preemptive admission that my sig line just might be as relevant as my opinion, the Browns beat Baltimore (take the under).

Last weeks performance was an anomaly for both the offense and defense. Holding the Colts (Manning, James, Harrison, etc.) to 9 points and no Td’s is far more than you can expect from the substantially rebuilt Browns D. Likewise there are far too many capable playmakers on offense for the Browns to be blanked in the red zone for long.

The Browns tend to give the Ravens problems, Jemal Lewis will get his yards but even with Heap and Taylor, Kyle Boller still needs to prove he has more to offer than say,… Chris Redman, Elvis Gerbac, Anthony Wright or Stony Case. I’ll admit this is a moment of truth for Kelly Holcome as well but my gut tells me that (I need to lay off cheap beer, and) of all the teams who used to call old municipal stadium their home, the current Browns end the day 1 and 1, the Ravens end up 0 and 2 and the Rams will start a back up at QB.

12

Quick edit, the new Browns never called Muncipal Stadium home, seems my gut isn’t the only thing that suffers from the cheap beer.

<Barney Gumble> ~Belch~ </Barney Gumble>

13

I don’t see any real standouts in the Pro’s this week. Not even Tampa over Carolina, Tampa may have a hangover from last weekend. My only take this weekend is ND +10 at Michigan.

14

2 quick items
if you are taking KC to beat Pitt, you have to take the over…
KC will not stop TommyGunn, they will have to outscore them.

also–Look for Buffalo to struggle with the heat down here vs. Jax…Jacksonville will wear their road unis, forcing Buffalo to play in a dark jersey…air temps will be high 80s/low 90s.

I never believed the uniform color could make much difference, but I saw my Steelers open here one year and wore a black jersey. I couldn’t drink enough water, and I wasn’t even running around. It’s almost unbelieveable how hot it gets when you are directly under the FL sun in a dark uni.

15

In other news. The Raiders home opener will be blacked out for the 6th time in a row. You know what, I have to put up with a lot of sh#t from Raiders fan living in Oakland as I do. Due me a favor, stop talking crap and go buy a ticket. Also, if you weren’t aware Jerry Porter is out along with Woodson. they should still beat Cincy though.

16

Holy shit!!! Can someone give me a hand wiping this egg off my face? :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:

17

note to self: never put more than one of those head-slappy things on a post again unless you want people to be able to see it from 30 paces away

18

Hmmm…how many picked Tampa over the Panthers?

Bzzzzttt

Try again.

Go Panthers!!!

Neener neener neener.

12-9 btw.

19

OK, I have been redeemed :slight_smile:

20

A-yup. You called that one right. :smiley: