That’s not true at all. I’ve known a good many couples who met at the local pub. I, myself, had a 3 year relationship with someone I met at my local.
There’s a marked difference between “the local pub” which can easily be the venue of meaningful social interaction and bar-hopping or clubbing with the express intent to get plastered.
I interpreted 2ManyTacos statement as referring to the latter type of activity rather than the former - I’ve got a lot of similarly-aged friends and acquaintances who “go out” in that particular way and are consistently frustrated by their lack of romantic success.
You’re way, way off on your “Jerks who pretend to be ‘nice’”. There is no such thing. Jerks are already getting all of the boom-boom that they can handle. so, there is no incentive to even try to be nice. There are, however, the saps who think that they are nice, when, in reality, they are just weak.
Women friends will not be able to help out. They, themselves, want the jerks, but, they will say that they want nice. (Actually, there are some women who want “nice”, but, they are outliers.) They may not even be aware that they prefer jerks.
My observation, however, is that if a person is more self-centered than “nice” in a relationship, they will do much better.
I think that somebody has lots and lots of lovely cats in her future.
Well, you can understand their confusion when, time after time, they see these vending machines pay off like slot machines to alcoholics, misogynists, loud mouth braggarts and con men. Character clearly isn’t the issue.
The problem, though, IS the woman. If the woman would tell the pud “lose some fucking weight, brush your teeth, and get off of the fucking XBox and get a career”, instead of “it’s not you, it’s me”, and “why can’t I find a Nice Guy”, the Nice Guy wouldn’t be so schizophrenic and confused. He looks to her for the feedback, and she gives him shit.
I’ve met some extremely wivable women at bars. Many hot, semi-virtuous at least, women would go out to bars for the same reason that the guys would go to bars. I’d say that 25% of the women that I’ve met weren’t just out looking for a stiff one, but, for actual relationship material. It’s kind of a Catch-22 to say “do you really want a relationship with someone you met at a bar?” when most of the time, that’s the only place to meet people, in bulk.
But, they also have a whole raft of buttinsky hangers on suitors who would more than happily gang up together on a frustrated suitor and kill him/bludgeon him to death, in hopes of currying favor with the Lady Faire.
[Pssst…you forgot the flowers! THE FLOWERS!]
Yes, women. It’s your fault if men can’t figure out they need to brush their teeth.
I guess in your world, every man needs every woman to be his mommy. I’m glad my world is not the same one.
This is not a serious response, right? You’re being facetious, doing an over-the-top faux Nice Guy act?
That Poe’s Law is a motherfucker, ain’t it?
Thing is, it’s not that far from other comments I’ve read, just never here. (And I’m terrible with names, so I just can’t always judge by the poster’s history, you know?)
True enough, but it isn’t really a problem for the women. They’re just following their natural instincts. Only a minority of the male population is desirable from their point of view. Women will ignore/reject the majority of men because the women just aren’t feeling attraction wrt to most men.
In the past, one man to one woman, more or less monogamous relationships were the norm because women were coerced into these relationships by social pressure - their families, their peer groups, the popular culture, law, as well as economic necessity. Basically, most women were forced to settle for men they found less than truly desirable.
Now, they don’t have to settle. They can remain single and childless. They can poach or share a desirable man who is already taken. They can have a child with a desirable man while he is still in a relationship with someone else.
This leaves a substantial number of men standing on the sidelines watching other men live their lives to the fullest. Learning game/pickup can definitely help these men have better love lives, but it won’t change the basic imbalance between male and female attraction.
More recent research has called the exact ratios into question, but there’s a general agreement that many more women than men were destined to reproduce. One man to one woman couplings as the norm can only be achieved through some sort of coercion.
It’s amazing how much more effort people will spend on convincing themselves that their situation is the result of forces far beyond their control than on improving their own lives. It’s much easier to ignore that something is blatantly false (less than half of all men are attractive to any women), toss a little worthless evolutionary psychology on it, and indirectly blame feminism than to figure out what makes you, personally, unattractive.
Rather than defining ‘jerk’ as ‘any guy who has success with women’, blaming women for their own shortcomings, or coming up with elaborate pseudo-science theories about why women don’t like men (and ignoring all the ‘jerks’ who don’t seem to share the problem), nice guys would be better served sorting out their own issues (we’ve seen some examples in this thread) and learning how to socialize. It’s much more likely to lead to a fulfiling relationship, lots of hot babes, or even just less bitterness than becoming a lonely, raging hermit or predatory PUA.
Why so angry?
Why so much projection?
*Jerks are already getting all of the boom-boom that they can handle. so, there is no incentive to even try to be nice. *
When I first realized this, it was more than a little unsettling. If a girl was into me, I could get away with just about anything. Sneak out of PE and have sex in the woods? “I can’t do that! Well, okay…”
*Women friends will not be able to help out. They, themselves, want the jerks, but, they will say that they want nice. (Actually, there are some women who want “nice”, but, they are outliers.) They may not even be aware that they prefer jerks.
Advice from well meaning women is often worse than useless. It can be actively counter-productive.
The bold doesn’t necessarily follow from the preceding sentence. If ancient men were significantly more likely to die early in life, before they had a chance to father children, then you would see women outreproducing them. With all the wars, fights, and accidents disproportionately affecting men across the centuries, it isn’t surprising at all that this would be the case. Also, consider that in times of famine, women are hardier because they store more body fat than their high-metabolic brethren.
Why not look at gender relations and reproduction trends occurring today? In communities where men and women are roughly equal in number, I don’t think there are hordes of men who struggle to find relationships. Most will pair up with someone. Find me statistics that say otherwise and I will be surprised.