There’s guy who is always at this particular MacDonalds situated near a a couple of cyber-gaming cafes everyday. I swear. Others would too.
He’s thin, lanky, pale and has hair longer than any ladies I have met. He’s always carrying about his D&D 3rd edition rulebooks with him whenever he appears. I wasn’t aware of how…acute…it is till one day my cousin and me went down to the same area and pointed him out to me. “He’s here everyday!”
And the last time I was in the area was about two years ago.
Apparently, there was a period of time my cousin visit the area for LAN gaming, and this fellow was here all the time with his thick tomes.
Their nickname for him?
The Level 99 Archmage.
PS. No offence to role-players (I am one too), but this guy takes the prize just for so many reasons.
BananaMan On our recent camping trip a mini-van pulled up during the night, in the rain. The next morning, husband (Moment Slayer) and I sat around our fire watching this guy get out his van, stretch, head down to the restroom, come back and eat a banana.
He went in and out of his van, went for a long walk, got back in his van and left.
We made up many scenarios and finally decided that he was an air-mattress salesman who had to leave home because of his banana addiction. Don’t ask. It made sense at the time.
C-Man–A fellow bus commuter. He would get on the bus a few stops after mine. Though his posture seemed fine, the moment his butt hit the seat he would slump over, his nose nearly touching his knees and he would remain in that exact position at least until I got off some 30 minutes later. He never looked out the window, never talked to anyone, just apparently studied the fabric of his pants the entire trip, every single day. I called him C-Man because I always pictured his spine in the shape of a C whenever he sat like that.
The Russian Twins–I started seeing the Russian Twins around town about 15 or so years ago but I didn’t really know if they were Russian or not until just recently when I overheard them talking. They just looked Russian to me. They’re absolutely identical and are often seen out walking together, wearing identical clothing or something very similar.
The Walking Guy–I know I should come up with a better name than that but that is what has stuck in my mind. I used to see him walking all the time in my old neighborhood. Not just walking, but doing so in almost a manic just-have-to-walk kind of way. Not just walking but reading a book at the same time. Not just reading but so engrossed in the words that he rarely looked up from the pages. Even at intersections. I guess he just used perhipheral vision to see if the coast was clear and plunged on across.
I used to see Pam-lite at the gym in Hamilton, NZ, all the time. She had the pouty lips, the peroxide hair, the sunbed tan, and the sudden inexplicable increase in bust size. Her boyfriend was Poser (there are usually several at any gym, but he was the classic). I really didn’t like either of them. Then she stopped showing up at the gym for a while.
She then appeared in the papers as Robin Reynolds (in 2000) having slept with Robbie Williams during his NZ tour. She had her 15 minutes of infamy, tried to kickstart an international modelling/acting career, got ripped off by her manager, and that small photo that was the only picture I could find of her in the whole internet (plus a reference to her being a stripper in Oceans’ 11, but she isn’t in the credits list, so she must have been cut). Poser was in the regional paper, too, as the dumped local boy left behind by a girl determined to climb the celebrity pole. Didn’t endear either of them to me.
Slew Foot: There’s a large guy in my neighborhood that I only see late at night going up and the down the street. He walks really slow and drags his feet, which are splayed outward like a duck.
There’s something about the way he moves that made me change “slow” to “slew” when I gave him his name.
Shexy: This female crack addict in my neighborhood is not very attractive but all of her clothes are tight and revealing. She’s small-framed but, though not pregnant, has the stomach of a six-monther. The name is “sexy” but pronounced with a slurry, drunken sort of drag to it.
Woof: a fat, decrepit beagle whose front legs are a bit crooked. He can barely get up off the ground, but when he sees people walking by his yard, he manages a WOOF or two, and that’s as much as he can do.
Tall Baldie: my friend’s daughter gave this nickname to a cop who zips around in his patrol car in our neighborhood and then through the local school on his way to the sleazy apartment complex.
I’m waking up this thread again to see if anyone can add to it. It still makes me laugh.
Crazy Effing Mustang Bitch: lives in the cul-de-sac at the end of my street; drives a Mustang like a crazy person, blowing stop signs, speeding, turning whenever she feels like it, almost ran into the driver’s side of my car when I was trying to turn left into my street and she didn’t want to wait; two days later, she ran her car underneath my neighbor’s truck when neighbor was just pulling into her sloped driveway. As it turns out, she has had several incidents already and is only 19 years old. And she might be pregnant, God help us all.
This is seriously so hilarious that I think it’s going to be one of those things that I randomly remember and laugh at for months to come. I think this is the best nickname… EVER.
Here are just a few of mine!
Nice Dragon City Man: He was a really nice waiter from my favourite Chinese restaurant, Dragon City in Halifax (which no longer exists, so sad!). He knew our usual order and always gave us the table by the window, which he called “your usual table”.
The Low Talker: She was a waitress at the same restaurant. She also worked at Super Valu. She spoke so quietly that I never understood a word she said. (I always referred to speaking with her as “agreeing to wear the puffy shirt”, which is a reference to the Seinfeld episode in which Jerry can’t understand a quiet woman who asks him a question, and he accidentally agrees to wear a huge puffy shirt on TV.)
Jimmy Dunh-dunnhnhn!!!: Forgive my spelling, but I’ve never ever written it before so I just had to make one up. He was a guy who always wore a walkman, and did kind of a Beavis-and-Butthead-esque “DUNH-DUNNNHNHN!” along with the music, while headbanging and doing the metal “horns” action with his hand. The walkman didn’t always have batteries in it, mind you. \m/\m/ He was pretty much hilarious.
Retard Lady. (I know, I know, not a very nice label, but sometimes the 12-year-old in me takes over.) She sits in the front of the bus and has some sort of mental disability. She talks quite loudly and tries to tickle/play with every small child in a stroller that she sees. They mostly just give her a blank stare.
Sinister Crazy Man. I see him on the bus sometimes, and, well…he ain’t right. He’ll start talking to himself and other people around him (whether they want to hear it or not), and none of what he says makes sense. (One lady almost came to blows with him because he threw a few swears in there and she had her toddler with her.) Some of it also sounds rather…ominous. He’s probably harmless, but kind of creepy all the same.
Sweatpants Man. I’ve never heard this man speak, he just gestures, mostly to wave people out of his way. He’s quite large, and it’s clear that he can’t walk very well (he always needs the lift for getting on and off the bus). He also wears sweatpants. Well, sweatsuits, but “sweatpants man” has a better ring to it.
Doggie Lady. A blind woman who has a really cute service dog that I want to pet (but won’t because he’s a service dog and has signs on him saying “I’m working, please don’t pet me”). She usually sits in the back and the doggie will sit under her feet.
“The Bumbys” – When my granddaughter and I were flying back from Philadelphia, three musicians from Manchester, England had the seats in front of us. They were a little unusual looking. All were short with large heads and elvish looking faces. They were very pleasant and seemed particularly excited about coming to Nashville.
We told them that the Country Music Hall of Fame formed a bass clef from overhead and is lighted at night (which is true). We tried to help them spot it, but had no luck. It amused me to see people as thrilled to land in Nashville as we had been to land in Paris.
They needed a name as a group in our memories and “The Bumbies” just seemed to fit. Please don’t link me to a site showing that these are incredibly famous people.
Calculator Guy-obviously mental. Has a weird smile all the time, twitches and makes with his finger like hes typing on a calculator.
How Yall Doin Guy-Every time he sees any human, he says Hey! How Y’all Doin M’aam(Sir)! really loud. he works at a grocery store and if he sees you more than once in the store, he’ll say it each time he sees you.
AssWoman- Shes a bit short, but her behind is at least 5 feet across. I wonder where she gets her clothes.
Box Man-He sells comics and carries a box of them everywhere! Seen him for years, apparnetly he graduated a year before me, but he is not in the yearbook.
TitWoman- Seen her twice, once in a wheelchair, her breasts hang way down below her knees.
HeyLady-Insists on the first seat on the bus because shes disabled (has a photo pass to prove it) asks people questions, how old is your son? Whens his birthday/ What month? What day? This March or next?
Once ran for the bus yelling Hey! high pitchedly over and over even though the bus had stopped. Serious blank affect.
Introducing The Cheaters. A long time ago, just after the earth cooled, I used to eat lunch in a park next to a school. One day I noticed a note tacked to a tree. Being of the curious sort I read it, to find it was a love note. I left it, amused by it. Once or twice a week notes would show up, but they weren’t always love notes. Sometimes they were plans for rendezvous when Certain Persons were out of town :dubious: It became pretty apparent that someone was stepping out on someone else, possibly both were. I really wish I could remember more details about those notes, they were a real kick in the pants. After about 6 months they stopped. (they must have figured out the concept of email) I don’t think it was students at the school since it was an elementary school.
Are you sure you don’t mean this guy? If it is his new name should be RapeFace.
Oh, man, Mrs BomTek would be awesome at this game! But I’ve got a few that we’ve created just during this deployment… Snidely Whiplash- always, ALWAYS, looks like he just got back from tying someone to the train tracks. The funny thing is, military regs prevent him from having an actual Snidely-type mustache, but we all agree he’d have one if he could. Volleyball Girl- just a leggy brunette who looks like she would play volleyball. I think she looks like Seth Rogen’s mom in *Observe And Report *probably did when she was 20 years old. Shaving Waiver Guy- none of have the balls to just ask him if he actually has a shaving waiver, but he’s persistently sporting a fairly full beard. Fetus Head- I’m not really one to talk, since my head is somewhat large, but this guy looks like a supervillian. Craterface- an otherwise cute Army SGT with some bad acne scars who came to visit our shop recently.
5 O’Clock Bob: I used to work at a Papa John’s located at a major intersection in Orlando, and there was a homeless guy who would come in at exactly 5:00 p.m. every day to use the public restroom before walking out back to dig food out of the dumpster. Well, not actually out of the dumpster, but from a table next to it, since we put the undelivered pizzas out for him and the other homeless guys. Anyway, he obviously didn’t own a watch (his sleeves were usually rolled up), but he always walked in at 5:00 on the dot. Wasn’t even thrown off by Daylight Savings time.
silly civilian question: Is it even possible to obtain a shaving waiver?
Library Ragamuffin lady: This woman appears to be in her 70s and hangs out occasionally at the…guess it…library. She wears layers upon layers upon layers of clothing, gowns, rags, all colors. She also carries a milk carton around, plus a box with stuff in it. Her head has several scarves wrapped around it. She goes into the library to use the phone (she sounds perfectly lucid on it and has a nice voice) and computer.
\m/ He was pretty much hilarious.
