Nine orphans and ESPN. Not a bad day.

I’ve been on an organizing kick lately, mainly inspired by several threads and the fact that I needed lots of room.

Already finished the desk. Got the computer set up, got the printer set up. Can’t figure the dickens on how to set up the fax part of the all-in-one machine (but DAMN! You ought to see the print quality (prolly far less than most of you all have, but far, far better than than what I had before) and as quiet as a sneaky fart on an overstuffed chair. So one room on the list is completed.

Today. The kitchen.

I decided that I would accomplish two tasks: organize the pantry, and organize the cookware/storage bowls.

The pantry. One shelf was falling down because the shelf holder was screwed into a bad piece of sheetrock, not a stud (easily solved: the free wok still in its box was the perfect height and holds up the shelf of lightbulbs and Zip-loc bags). All of the coffee mugs are on the top shelf. All of the pasta and convenience foods are on the next shelf. All of the baking supplies are on the middle shelf. All of the canned soups and veggies are on the penultimate shelf, and again, the lightbulbs and non-chemical cleaning and storage supplies are on the bottomj shelf, held up by the never-used wok (wouldn’t use it anyway: the other cookware it came with ended up peeling and breaking. Nothing I would trust my food with, no matter how abominable my cooking is.)

That done, and still listening to ESPN Radio (Sheesh! When did Tony Kornheiser go off the midday show? And what is this Herd stuff with a guy who is not as interesting nor entertaining as TK? I work during the day, so I was really looking forward to Old Guy radio, even though I fit neither qualification. And no, I don’t have cable, so I can’t watch ESPN 1, 2, News or Esporte), I decided to tackle the cookware.

I prolly should have been on top of this long ago, and managed a few choice words to that effect when a bunch of lids fell on my foot when I opened the door. Once I got a bandaid on the cut and threw the offending lids into the dishwasher for a good steamcleaning, everything came out of the cupboard but my hand, and not solely due to gravity.

So I’m sitting on the kitchen floor, surrounded by pots, pans, lids, mixing bowls, storage bowls, and thanks to my previous attempt at organizing, a plastic-coated wire lid holder (looks like a letter holder that was bred next to a faulty nuclear reactor) and a plastic-coated wire shelf (it’s just a smidgen too big for the space, but I can actually bend it one-quarter inch to fit within the cupboard without the whole shelf changing to a 75 degree slope).

I was ruthless.

Scratched pots. OUT!
Handle loose, can’t be tightened. OUT!
Handle loose, could be tightened. STAYS!
Chipped pasta bowl. OUT with regret. Really pretty shade of blue, and I only paid $1.50 at a KMart sale. But with a chip, out it went.
Lids from previous sets of cookware that do not fit the current set. OUT!
Pristine glass mixing bowls. STAYS!
Oooh, been looking for that cutting board. STAYS!

And now, the main event…

Storage bowls. All sorts of brands: Glad, Rubbermaid, generics. Lids to the left of me, bowls to the right, and me stuck in the middle. Sigh. Gotta get to it.

Just like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Put together the ones what obviously go together. Now work on the ones left. This fits, the newlyweds go there. This doesn’t fit, try another lid. And another. And another. Nothing fits? In the box.

Finally everything is put away, and all I have left are the nine orphans: three bowls and six lids, none of which could go together short of me using a Swiss Army Knife and some creative carving. As sad as I am to toss anything, these will finally be out of my life. And my kitchen.

A little bit of Clorox clean-up on the countertops, scrub off the microwave, empty the dishwasher, and voila, I do the happy end-zone dance of sanitized victory upon the freshly-swept floor. I have triumphed! I have a clean and organized kitchen.

And I still miss Tony Kornheiser.

I’ve moved this from Cafe Society to MPSIMS, as per screech-owl’s request.