Looking for suggestions of things to put on ShadiRoxan’s nipples to encourage a boobie obsessed hellspawn to give 'em a rest.
Lime: “Boobie yucky.” Worked for about a day. Learned to deal with it.
Alum: “OWL! DADDY! OWL! I LIKE!” Seriously weird kid.
Big Black Sharpie™ X’s: “Heehee! Boobie Broken! <chomp>” Next…
Curry: No reaction.
Any ideas?
Take over for him. Hellspawn can’t get to the niples if you’re already there.
According to Aunt Pittypatt in Gone With the Wind, quinine is the surefire cure to stopping thumb-sucking. I imagine this would work on nips, too. Can you still get quinine that’s not in tonic water?
Maybe she should just drink a lot of G&Ts.
I have suggested preemptive interdiction. Vetoed on account that she doesn’t want anyone messing with them at the moment.
Queen Bruin,
Gin and Tonic is denied on account of fetal alcohol syndrome.
Will look into quinone.
I don’t have kids so I have never breastfed, and I don’t know how old your child is - but maybe just say no? Keep a bra on so he can’t just latch on?
This isn’t intended to be rude - I really don’t know!
Hm. What a bummer…
I mean, if they’re just…out there…they need attention!
Tell her to tuck those puppies back in, or else you’ll suck them off.
We’re aiming to do it in a way that he doesn’t want it, rather than from the angle that he still wants it but gives up trying due to repeated denial. Mainly because he doesn’t give up trying until he ends up in the corner for hitting/scratching/biting/pinching/demonic possession/etc.
How about that bitter apple stuff you spray so the dog doesn’t chew on things? It’s obviously non-toxic and, trust me, it tastes seriously gross. I’ve sprayed it at a plant to keep it from the cats, who regard it as a piquant seasoning, and gotten some tiny bit of overspray in my mouth or on my lips - errrrgh!
I figured - I was making a (weak) joke. 
I say go with the quinine.
Of course, I drink diet tonic water by the liter.
An old friend used Tabasco, though I don’t think that I would use it on my nipples.
Thank you, sincerely, for eradicating the last scintilla of lingering doubt I had over whether my vasectomy was the right decision.
I’m not averse to dressing up my wife’s nipples with condiments, as long as I’m the sole beneficiary— but the prospect of dealing with a creature so unruly that it’s easier to paint one’s teats with something caustic, rather than to simply lift them gently out of reach, is not appealing in the least.
(I’m sure he’s a lovely kid, though!)
In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, the Nurse used wormwood IIRC.
I’m not sure about putting the lime on the coconuts.
From my reading, and some personal experience, here are a few effective ideas that cause the least trauma to mom and baby:
[ul]
[li]Wear clothing that makes them inaccessible[/li][li]Avoid situations that are nursing cues - e.g., no lounging on the couch for us; or have dad put the kid to bed[/li][li]Don’t say “no,” say, “in a little while,” and gradually increase the interval[/li][li]In situations that normally cue nursing, or if asked, or if asking seems imminent, offer another fun activity, and/or a drink or snack[/li][li]Likewise, lavish your child with attention and love[/li][li]If the reason for weaning is sore nipples from pregnancy (pretty much all other causes are fixable) or lack of sleep, explain in a way the child can understand - lots of “nummies” “go to sleep” at night, for instance[/li][li]Above all, don’t try to go cold turkey, if it’s avoidable. Omit one nursing a day for a week or two, then another, and so on[/li][/ul]It takes patience, but it may wind up being easier on everyone than trying to make nursing disgusting for the child. In any case, good luck!
I don’t know if it would dissuafe young’uns, but this sounds like an attractive recipe for adult guys…
After reading this thread I can’t decide if I’m hungry or turned on.
Amp,
You aren’t alone.
And I have boobies! And I breast fed my daughter.
I’m sooo confused…
But egads, I was terrified of having to negotiate with a terrorist who could talk. Another valid reason for no extended breastfeeding. (Yes, Mummy, I’m off for a bit of rugby, I’d like the left breast if you please. Oh, and the curry added a nice touch.)
How about a taser?
How about making the kid have a spoonful of cod liver oil right before each session? He can’t have any milk until the oil is all gone. Then make it two table spoons, then three, etc…