To the collected Nancy Reagan “Just Say NO” crowd.
It takes somewhere between 30-40 minutes of escalation of violence and several cycles of punitive isolation before he finally gets frustrated enough that he opts to scream and cry for another 15 or 20 minutes rather than continue trying to attack the boobies.
Usually he’s interested in whatever snaps him out of his “The world, she is ending!” tantrum after that. Sometimes he immediately goes right back to attacking the boobies. Or he slyly tries this puppy-dog-eyed gambit thing to get a pity titty as the hysteria winds down.
Just say no? It is to laugh. Also, though the restrictive clothing might prevent the demon child from latching and orally abusing some pregnant lady’s tender nipples, all the pawing and squeezing and pulling and biting aren’t exactly pleasant, either.
There’s also the further concern that if he’s overtly coerced into weening, there’ll probably be a recidivism problem when the younger sibling arrives and the boobs are again in service, just not for him. And maybe some resentment and physicality. Almost 3 year old vs. newborn. Hmmm…
This way if he wants to nurse again after seeing the younger sibling getting some we can put on some bitter apple (or whatever works) and he’ll remember why he doesn’t want to do that anymore. Or maybe tandem nurse. Not my call.
I found the most effective way to wean my daughter was to just not be home for a few days at bedtime, which was the only time she nursed at that point… We had a sitter, Daddy did bedtime duty one night, and so forth. After three days, she wasn’t interested anymore. Then she got an ear infection, and the only thing that comforted her was nursing…I despaired, thinking she was going to be attched for life. But the next night, she went right to sleep without nursing, and I’m glad to say she never backslid again. I honestly can’t remember how I weaned the boychild, but it was as easy.
Just don’t be available those few days, and have something more interesting happen…my kid loved her sitter. And keep emphasizing the “mommy’s milk is just for babies, and you’re such a big boy now, right?” if he puts up a fuss when the new baby arrives.
2.3 years old. I can’t recall what exactly happens when he sees something we wants and isn’t getting… so presumably it isn’t particularly spectacular. The worst toystore meltdown I can think of was over a small bicycle. He did this yearning hand/arm gesture yelling “BIKE!” until it was out of sight, refused to be put down and was generally churlish for about a minute, and then decided he’d rather run around the store than be carried. The End.
He’s not particularly couth, generically speaking, but he’s not the kid laying in the middle of the floor jibbering about how he’s being oppressed by the non-toy-buying mothers of the world.
Keep in mind that he hasn’t been nursing as a food source for a while. It’s like taking away a little kid’s favorite bear or comfort blanket for no reason that can be made apparent to them other than arbitrary cruelty. Yet another reason we’d rather he decide he doesn’t want boobies for comfort anymore than try to force-ween him.
If you *ever * give in after that tantrum, all you’ve done is taught him that that’s what it takes to get boobie. He already knows boobie is worth it.
If you never give in, the disregard this thought. I do know that there are kids out there that are that high strung. If that’s the case, maybe consider continuing to breastfeed? Most kids will go through phases where it’s more and less important to them. Picking a highly important time (say, when they are frusterated by other changes in life) to wean makes it more difficult, though possible.
I had a conversation a couple years ago about how anything and everything you do around kids is teaching. You need to think about what lessons your kids are learning, whether you intend it or not.
And the main thing they’re learning is how to manipulate you.
Being goofy and cute seems to work really well for the 3 year old next door when he wants a treat from his mom. He’s really confused when it doesn’t work on me.
I’ve watched my brother’s oldest daughter (7) run through a repertoire of tactics when she’s trying to get me or her sister to cooperate with her plans. It usually stops when she gets to crying because that attracts someone else’s attention and she moves on to messing with them.
I get what you’re saying, and I think part of the trouble we’re having is that ShadiRoxan hasn’t been very consistent about breastfeeding in the past… so he knows there’s a flexible limit and just keeps pushing.
