Nixon Outlives Cobain and Other Odd Stuff

[Derleth]

Von Hier

SEATTLE, April 23–The title of Spring Martyr 1994 goes to grunge idol Kurt Cobain, who died April 8 in what was apparently a suicide. Cobain’s closest contender, former president Richard Nixon, died yesterday, losing the race to the pearly gates by a full two weeks. While the singer chose the sensational exit method of blowing his head off, Nixon slipped away quietly after suffering a stroke.

[snip]

Though apparently a suicide, Cobain’s death is being investigated by the National Security Council. A spokesperson for the NSC cited possible involvement of one or more political/religious groups, including the Holy Alamo Christian Church, the Process Church of the Final Judgement, the Church of the subGenius, the Church of Raism, the Parents’ Music Resource Committee, and a small but potent splinter group of David Koresh’s followers, the Branch Branch Davidians. No arrests have been made.

What other odd stuff have Dopers found online?