I’ve always felt that – whilst obviously it’s a big day for both the bride AND groom – women seem to have more of a thing about having their wedding “Exactly right” than blokes do. Because of this I’ve always felt that, in the highly unlikely event of me ever actually making it to the altar, I’ll be quite happy to bow to the bride’s wishes on the general shape of events, the ceremony etc. etc. (although obviously I won’t shy away from being involved in the planning/doing the work) as these are more likely to count towards her enjoyment of the event than mine.
The general consensus amongst the (unmarried) blokes in the bar last night was that this was a fair approach that most agreed with. We did find, however, that most of us had certain “must haves” – areas that, should budget and resources allow, WILL be included in any matrimonially binding celebration we find ourselves involved in.
My list of “must haves” was as follows:
1) The Groom and Groomsmen will arrive at the Church in the A-Team Van. I was tempted to change this to “Groom and Groomsmen will arrive on horseback with medieval weapons” – something a friend of mine actually has planned for his wedding next year.
His spouse-to-be, however, only accepted this method of arrival after he swore on pain of death that all male attendees would uphold a “no jousting” rule at the post-ceremony celebrations. Since I suspect that any bride of mine would probably insist on the same rule, I might as well go with the A-Team Van – what’s the point of going medieval if you can’t, well, “go medieval?”
2) A thousand parachuting Elvises. These will be timed to bloom over the sky just as we leave the Church. There are few things more romantic than a thousand parachuting Elvises.
3) The General Lee as the wedding car We will depart the Church in the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard. Hell, I’ll even learn to drive just so I can get behind the wheel myself! Not only will this look cool, but It’ll also cunningly prevent the bride from wearing a wedding dress that is too meringue-like (else she won’t be able to get through the window).
So what about you lot? What are your “must haves” - or indeed “had to haves” – both serious and semi-serious?
I’m inviting all the strippers from the bachelor party to the wedding and reception. Too many grooms just wallow in the entertainment for one evening and never call again. I’m going to demonstrate my sense of commitment.
My sister will be my “Best Person.” She will not be wearing a kilt, but she will be wearing a sash with the CofA colours. I don’t want any more groomsmen, or whatever the hell they’re called. You’re supposed to have your best friend stand up for you, here she is.
My sister is not a bridesmaid. Therefore, although we’ve asked her to wear the same style dress as the MofH, I will not ask her to pay for it. I will pay for it myself.
We had a few difficulties with all those, but I didn’t budge. I happily caved for everything else.
General Lee?
How long have you been in America?
I have been married twice. The first time we just up and did it. We ended in a wedding chaple in Del City. (Oklahoma) There is a reason that the wedding chapples of Del City are not as famous as Vegas. It was a converted garage and, well, tacky. During the ceremony, though unplanned, a kid rode past the double glasss door front dressed as Jason Voorhees.
My second wedding was much nicer and I had quite a bit to do with the planning. We had a string quartet and I arranged the music for them. By arrange I mean I either got a piano score and wrote it out for them or I pulled it off the CD. We had the themes from Star Trek First Contact and The Mission and (my choice) we had Exult Justi (from Empire of the Sun) as a closer.
For my third wedding I will insist on a threesome with the bridesmaid of my choice.
Once I was getting fitted for a tux to be a groomsman. There were some other people there for their wedding tuxes and there were two little kids (7?) a boy and a girl, and the girl was going on and on about what she wanted at her wedding and she explained to the boy that the girl gets to pick everything.
I stopped and said,
Well the man does get to pick one thing.
What?
He gets to pick the bride.
I picked the “Hallelujah Chorus” (on organ only, no vocals) from Handel’s Messiah as the recessional music for our wedding because I’d be glad it was about over with at that point. Eloping would’ve been soooo much nicer.
Friends of mine had the “Imperial March” from the Star Wars series played as their “entrance music” to their wedding reception.
Every time we had a wedding or similar, my brother would say “man, if I ever find a woman dumb enough to marry me, it’s gonna be on top of a mountain and sandwiches for lunch!” We’d remind him there’s no way Mom would be able to walk to the top of a mountain and he’d say “ok, Mom gets to ride up on a helicopter.”
Tough luck: the bride is “normal”, so of course they had a “normal” wedding. Very pretty and with the priest quoting Star Wars, LotR and Willow, but still in a regular church and followed by a regular reception.
Me, if I ever find a man dumb enough to marry me and crazy enough to convince me, I do hope I’ll be able to keep it simple… something like sending everybody postcards from Cancún saying “hi, hope you like the pic, btw we just got married” sounds nifty.
During our wedding, our “must haves” were pretty small. Nothing too elaborate. But we did have a major “must NOT have”. We didn’t want to do any of the silly traditional games like tossing the garter and bouquet, no chicken dance, and the special dances were kept to a minimum.
We ended up having a beautiful garden wedding. The place we married at was an historical building so we hired someone to dress up in costume and give tours of the building and grounds during the reception. The guests loved it and we still get compliments that we had one of the most beautiful and unique recptions.
1) The Groom and Groomsmen will arrive at the Church in the A-Team Van. I was tempted to change this to “Groom and Groomsmen will arrive on horseback with medieval weapons” – something a friend of mine actually has planned for his wedding next year.
QUOTE]
That is awesome…I would totally steal this idea, except since our ceremony location and reception location are the same place, it wouldn’t really work.
I never thought about most of these before starting to plan my own wedding (for next May), but here they are:
Most of these both of us agree on, so we’ve got that going for us:
No church wedding. I only go to church for funerals and other people’s weddings, being agnostic, and he’s an atheist, so a religious wedding isn’t really our cup of tea.
Mad Hatter cake, they are so awesome. We both dislike the classic-looking wedding cakes, they’re just too traditional for our tastes, but we did want a cake and to do the cake cutting as well. So, mad hatter it is!
Rubberfiance wants a Guinness toast instead of champagne - works for me!
Can’t think of anything else right now, but I’m sure as we both get into planning there’ll be plenty more things we want.
Forgot one:
My fiance wants to get the JP to do the ceremony from Princess Bride (Wuv, twue wuv…), but doesn’t want to make his mom keel over, either, so he’s not going to try it. However, I’m going to try to hint to his best man that he should include it in his toast. Hopefully, he’ll get his dream wedding
garius, if I weren’t involved with a man I’m crazy about, I’d ask you to marry me. Remember, I’m an Englishwoman one state south of you. Since I am, I may print this thread out and show it to a coworker of mine who’s getting married. I assume his fiance will forgive me!
