No, Dad, I am not going to apologize for the fact that you can't take a hint (long).

[Honey]

@InternetLegend

When my lovely across-the-street neighbor moved out of her (rented) house, I made the mistake of mentioning the fact to my father-in-law. He’s gotten fixated on the idea of renting the house and moving in - with my astoundingly annoying freeloader brother-in-law and their two gigantic, vicious, untrained dogs. Being a dutiful daughter-in-law, I even called the house’s owner to ask how much she was asking in rent. She told me that she’s asking $800 a month, first and last months down, and requires a one-year lease. I thought that information would quell his interest, but no, he keeps on talking about it. Mr. Legend and I are not quite dutiful enough to offer to help with the rent, and every day that house sits empty, we look out our window hoping against hope to see a “For Sale” sign go up so we can be sure to dodge that bullet. The day they move in across the street is the day that Mr. Legend is going to have to rent an office to work in, because he’ll never have another uninterrupted work day at home. And I’ll be cooking dinners and cleaning for two households before I know it.

Tell them the previous tenant moved out due to a severe mold problem.

[Moonlitherial]

@Honey

Tell them the previous tenant moved out due to a severe mold problem.

Tell the owner of the house about the two large dogs - that will probably raise the rent.

[Dendarii_Dame]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

“I am your FATHER!”

When I read this sentence, I went back and read your entire post with your father speaking in Darth Vader’s voice.

[Kevbo]

@Moonlitherial

Tell the owner of the house about the two large dogs - that will probably raise the rent.

Well then, the dogs will have to stay at Skald’s house…problem solved!

[YogSothoth]

@Anaamika

It’s not easy. I had to threaten to call the cops on mine before they would stop harassing me, showing up at my job and pinching my arm hard enough to leave bruises, calling me at all hours, having their friends call me, etc. And it broke my heart to do it. But I had to do it for my own sanity. And my certainty - I mean, they would have lost me my job and would have been happy about it because they thought it would have made me move back home.

Why were they pinching your arm??

[Wheelz]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

ETA: As to the racial thing from my sister: It’s a bone of contention between us. We got into an argument recently because, in an otherwise-innocuous conversation, I used the word “innocuous.” She complained that I was using a big word; I replied that she has a master’s degree in social work and so surely knew that word, and at any rate I had used the first word that came to mind; she said that she doesn’t like using her brain after work, and anyway only someone trying to sound white would use that word. In her message, she claimed that the fact that I was doing a sit-down dinner with a set guest list was an attempt to be white. She’d probably have objected to the lack of collard greens, too.

Hmmmm… and she’s calling* you *“self-hating”? Sounds like the pot is calling the kettle… something.

[Inner_Stickler]

This thread breaks my heart a little. I truly hope that those of you who’ve had to cut out relatives or are struggling with them currently have found others to fulfill that place.

(Now, I think I need to call my mom and tell her that I love her.)

[Martini_Enfield]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

Before I abandoned writing for corporate sellouthood, my friend & agent read a novel I’d written and, because we’re friends, felt free to say, “Okay, I don’t want to seem racist here, if for no other reason that I don’t want you to punch my husband in the face–but what the hell do ‘flicted,’ ,‘saditty,’ and ‘you must not believe that fat meat is greasy mean’?”

I had to go and look up “saddity” (never heard it before) but I still have no idea what the other two terms are.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@CrazyCatLady

This made me snort so hard my nose is still burning and the dog is scared. I hope you’re happy. Also, what’s up with your sister using saditty? Is “uppity” too white for her?

Uppity and saditty aren’t synonyms.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Martini_Enfield

I had to go and look up “saddity” (never heard it before) but I still have no idea what the other two terms are.

" ‘Flicted’ is short for “afflicted,” and it means crazy, stupid, or otherwise mentally odd.

“You/he/she must not think fat meat is greasy” means "You/he/she does not seem to acknowledge that behaving in a given way will bring certain obvious, unpleasant consequences. If I hadn’t expected the blowback from Dad & Sis, it would have meant that I didn’t believe fat meat was greasy.

[Inner_Stickler]

@Martini_Enfield

I had to go and look up “saddity” (never heard it before) but I still have no idea what the other two terms are.

I believe that 'flicted means not all there mentally and fat meat is greasy means you have to find out the hard way.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

That, as you may gather, has never happened before.

I don’t know what prompted it. I suspect the not-girlfriend may have had a hand in it, or it may have been the realization that, if he let the estrangement go on between us, then he wouldn’t be seeing his youngest grandchild any time soon. But I just checked my voice mail and there was a message from him.

I feel kind of bad for him, even though I still hold that I was almost entirely in the right. I’ll have to make him mama’s pound cake and take it over to bury the hatchet.

[Leaper]

@Anaamika

I’m glad I am not the only one in this position! I don’t know if I would ever be able to live with parents. I know I come from a position of not really liking my parents very much (though I love them) but my SO loves and likes his parents and he can’t move in with them, either.

My mom too, years ago. Of course, that was long before my nephews were born, so hopefully, that’s put a kibosh on the idea.

[Boyo_Jim]

Your dad has probably apologized to somebody in the last 25 years.

I was completely alienated from my dad for nearly 15 years. After many many years of calling me stupid, finally one day he responded to something I said by saying, “that’s a really good idea”. It was the first time he ever acknowledged that I could think worthwhile thoughts. It felt great.

His issues were different, though. He had sudden outbursts of rage that could be triggered by almost anything anyone in the family said to him. He didn’t start to get over this until he was approaching 60. Sometimes, even later, I could hear him start on a rant, stop, swallow it, and respond rationally. Dunno if it was some degree of maturity he’d reached, a realization that none of his kids could stand talking to him, or some kind of brain chemistry problem that began to clear up. Shit, maybe all of the above.

[Tapiotar]

So glad that he apologized. Times change, customs change, and even people can change.
Mama’s pound cake is a great idea.

[monstro]

I am an expert on 'flicted, since this was what the kids called me all the time in middle school!

'Flicted (pronounced “flick-tid”) is synonymous with retarded.

Like the 'flicted person I am, I went up to a teacher and told her what the kids were calling me, all sad and pathetic-like. She made the whole situation all the more awkward by making me define the term. It was the first time I realized white people don’t speak proper English.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@monstro

I am an expert on 'flicted, since this was what the kids called me all the time in middle school!

'Flicted (pronounced “flick-tid”) is synonymous with retarded.

May I ask where you’re from? Hereabouts, 'flicted can mean either retarded or crazy (when referring to a person); ill-conceived, when referring to an idea, notion, or plan; or ill-formed/nonfunctional, when referring to a non-living object, machine, etc.

Wow, is that last paragraph saditty or what?

[monstro]

I’m from Atlanta, GA.

As I’m remembering (haven’t used the word in ages), the term “flicted” works in places where “retard” or “retarded” work, except that it can be used as an adverb. As in “You threw that ball 'flictedly.” I agree that “clumsy”, “ill-formed”, or “malfunctional” are more precise fits than “retarded”, but then again people don’t use “retarded” just to describe “mentally slow” either.

[The_Second_Stone]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

That, as you may gather, has never happened before.

I don’t know what prompted it. I suspect the not-girlfriend may have had a hand in it, or it may have been the realization that, if he let the estrangement go on between us, then he wouldn’t be seeing his youngest grandchild any time soon. But I just checked my voice mail and there was a message from him.

I feel kind of bad for him, even though I still hold that I was almost entirely in the right. I’ll have to make him mama’s pound cake and take it over to bury the hatchet.

That can not have been easy for him. I am happy for you.

[Martini_Enfield]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

" ‘Flicted’ is short for “afflicted,” and it means crazy, stupid, or otherwise mentally odd.

“You/he/she must not think fat meat is greasy” means "You/he/she does not seem to acknowledge that behaving in a given way will bring certain obvious, unpleasant consequences. If I hadn’t expected the blowback from Dad & Sis, it would have meant that I didn’t believe fat meat was greasy.

Thanks. Makes more sense now.

Glad to hear things with your Dad appear to be on the mend too!