I’m so glad your dad came around! I hope you give the girlfriend a BIG slice of pound cake.
Now there’s an idea…we could all swap annoying relatives!
I have to mention out here that I would move my father-in-law into my house and quit work to wait on him hand and foot if that were the alternative to not having him in my life. He’s a stellar human being, and we’re lucky to have him. I’m a tad less enthusiastic about his older son, though, and he comes with the package because my father-in-law is convinced he can’t look after himself (he may have a point). I understand putting up with a certain amount of crap from parents. We may complain about their foibles, and they sometimes drive us crazy, but we’d never cut them out of our lives.
(And I did tell the house’s owner about the two big dogs. We’ve also warned my in-laws that all the people who lived in the house for the past ten years were really heavy smokers, and the place stinks to high heaven. The next step is finding them another little rental house that’s far enough away I wouldn’t be able to hear the dogs bark.)
Skald, if your father “forgets” and ignores your decisions, you really don’t have to give him any reason, and usually it’s better not to. You Dad would probably just trying to keep talking you out of your reason.
And for goodness sake, don’t lie about the reason. That’s so unnecessary and neither you nor your Dad will learn from it.
If he gets really insistent, you can always use the broken record technique: “We can’t be together tonight, Dad.” You can say that over and over until he gets tired of hearing it.
I’m glad that your Dad apologized and that you feel good again. The trick is to continue to feel good even when you have to be firm with him. You are setting boundaries and that is a very healthy thing to do.
O your stars and garters*, you may want to save that voicemail forever. It’s a historical document along the lines of “the first time my mother thanked her children (all three way grown-up by then)”!
Well, they’re not mine, mine’s got less colors and a too-busy coat of arms off-center.
