No, HERE's the true evidence for the End Times

A friend just e-mailed this to me. Have at it:

(emphasis original)

Now doesn’t that make the rest of you feel foolish?

I hope your friend intended the email as a joke, because if one of my friends emailed that to me, I would be yelling at him soon afterwards. There’s a lot of behaviors I excuse in my friends, and I know I’m hardly perfect, but none of them better be these end-of-the-world revelation idiots

God gave me a vision in 2001 also. It was uncannily accurate. I saw the war in Iraq. I saw the election of Barack Obama. I saw the hurricane flood New Orleans. I saw the tsunami strike Southeast Asia. I saw the Red Sox would win the world series. I saw that James Cameron would top his Titanic box office record. I saw that there would be a remake of Battlestar Galactica. And I saw that Ruben would beat Clay on American Idol.

While I’ve known all these things since 2001, I didn’t see any need to mention them before now. But you have to agree those are pretty amazing predictions, so you should believe everything I say now.

Most of those predictions might not be so much prophetic insights as pervasive pessimism.

Not until you pass this little test.

Who will win the 1970 World Series?

Go on, predict that, I dare you.

Roof roof

I’m not seeing a debate here. Moved from GD to MPSIMS.

Damnit! I told you to say Brooks Robinson!

Fair enough.

It would be interesting if there were such things as competent, authoritative end-times theologians who could set my friend straight, but of course what we have is just an endless variety of crackpots.

Rorry, Raggy.

I once had a dream that I was standing in front of a large audience. The environment around me was ice cold, and I could fill the chill making it’s way into the bones of my feet as all those eyes bored into my soul. To my horror, I realized that that I was completely naked and defenseless as an enraged half man-half giraffe glided towards me with inhuman speed, screaming obscenities.

Six months later I was arrested for indecent exposure at a performance of The Lion King on Ice.

I once had a dream that it was raining.

Then a week later it rained.

I myself have had many dreams wherein the Messiah shows up.

I have had even more dreams about being in plays and not knowing my lines, getting lost in hotels and summer camps, and being naked in public.

I am not going into the lottery-predicting business any time soon.
(Actually, my friend once pressured me into picking lotto numbers for her because she was convinced I had spiritual powers or something. She played my numbers, and every single one of them turned out to be one off. I’m not sure what the message was here).

San Francisco '49ers, of course. :slight_smile:

I once dreamt I could breathe underwater. We’re going to the beach today… I shall fulfill the prophesy today; clearly I’m chosen to be Aquaman.

I dreamed there would be thousands and thousands of nutcases, wearing tinfoil hats and drinking tea at a tea party…and a woman from the cold north would swoop down upon our land and spread lies, inaccuracies and a brood of extraordinarily fertile children upon the masses.
I dreamed there would someday be electronic devices that could be used for good - education and research - but would instead become a vehicle for the dumbest of the dumb to spew their insane religious babble and vote for country singers on reality television shows.
I also dreamed the exact correct lottery numbers, 300 times in a row! However, they were always the winning numbers from the week before.