Ugh! Can I go one day without being bombarded with soliciting assholes? I go to the nail salon to get a pedicure and some ass shat guy comes in with imitation cheap perfume and goes up to every woman asking them to buy his shit. He even sprays it on my arm asking me to smell it. Fuck you dude! Can’t I get my feet massaged in peace? I saw the 2 guys getting a box out of their trunk going around to local businesses peddling their crap. The salon owners did nothing to stop this! So I go for some lunch and while I’m at a left turn light some lady comes up to my window selling grapes. “Grapes 2 dollars.” “No thank you,” I say. After lunch I go to the mall for some shopping. When I pull into a space and get out of my car a woman asks me to buy her shitty purses. Why can’t I be left alone? If I wanted to buy something I would actually buy it? Don’t bug the shit out of me and keep persisting and do whatever it is you do to make a sell. Just leave me the fuck alone!
I think I’d fly off the handle completely if a salesperson sprayed perfume on me. I fucking HATE perfume. HATE HATE HATE it!
I have perfected a stern gaze, almost a glare, while holding my nose or fanning the air, (allergies) and speeding up in the mall during Holiday shopping season. This seems to prevent the perfume sprayers from accosting me, though they will ask if I might be interested in their new scent. Sometimes, I might whiff the bottle, which is quite enough, though I rarely will allow it to be sprayed on me, I’m very allergic to several scents. I think maybe once or twice I have not been wearing scent already and actually wanted to see what it smelled like on me. Usually though, I feel as you do. If I want to buy it, I’ll come in with no scent, and try the scents after whiffing the Tester bottles. I usually use Jasmine oil from the herbal shop (a TINY bit) a decent oil based lavender scent, or a nice oil based peachy scent if I wear scent at all. I often don’t.
Next time someone wanders up to you like this, tell them you’re selling pepper spray and then give them a free sample.
I would tell the manager or owner of the nail salon that if they can’t keep such obnoxious salespeople from bothering their customers, you will find another place to get your pedicures.
I hate these aggressive street vendors too.
A couple of times, when someone has swooped down on me and sprayed me, I smile sweetly and say that it smells lovely, but I don’t have much cash on me. I get the sprayer’s name, address, and phone number. Then I smile even more sweetly and say that I needed that info because I’m allergic to a great many perfumes, and I want to know who to sue if I have an allergic reaction and have to go to the ER, like the last couple of times someone sprayed me. That’s only PARTIALLY a lie, I’ve only had to go to the ER once because of a perfume sprayer, but once is more than enough.
Besides, I love to see them shit their pants right there. THAT’S a lovely perfume for you! 
Ever had one of those weatherbeaten old ladies thrust a sprig of “lucky heather” in your face?
Then when you refuse to buy it - you can pick a ton of free “lucky heather” yourself, if you wished - curse you with all the venom of a fully qualified witch. Or is this just a UK thing?
Perfume gives me intense migraines - the only scent I can wear is one made for teenage girls (Sunflowers), so I rarely wear it. I can’t be in a room with it, either, or I get a hideous migraine. I’d probably have gone batshit on the sprayer if they’d sprayed me without my consent - mainly because a migraine will last for three days and involve time off of work for me.
Complain to the salon owners. I’d be finding a new salon if it were me.
Ava
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Boy, if someone sprayed perfume on me without my permission, I think I’d probably immediately start gasping for air and announce that they’ve just given me an asthma attack (as does happen with a few perfumes). If I didn’t kill them first, that is. Then I’d pull out my phone and call the cops to charge them with assault. Not that I’d actually go through with it, but hopefully it would give them pause about spraying shit on people without permissoin.
Or, of course, I could start screaming, “Ack! Terrorists have just sprayed me with a bio-contaminant! We’re ALL going to die!” and see what happens then.
I had that happen outside the Alhambra, in Granada. And here I thought it was just a Spain thing.
Incidentally, I had to do a double take at first, reading your post, as I was visualising it happening in a Walmart car park somewhere in the 'States.
This happened to me when I was having a pedicure. I mean, I spend money and have one freaking luxury I want to relax and enjoy, and in comes some freaking fundraising kid selling Krispy Kreme donuts.
First off, gag me with a donut- they are horrid (IMHO). Second off, we’re stuck and can’t get away, which is why they come in there, I imagine. Third off, FUCK OFF. I don’t want a confrontation or to have to refuse you when I’m just trying to relax and enjoy one fucking half an hour or relaxation. Get away from me and leave me alone. Bad enough they accost you when you try to walk into a store, try to stop at a light, and everywhere else. Now you can’t even enjoy a salon treatment without being harassed?
I did say something to the salon owner about it, but they were back the next time I was there. I found a new salon.
No cursing (just sad looks) around here…it’s usually the Veterans of Foreign Wars guys selling poppies.
The worst of the sidewalk vendors are the ones who stand at intersections and off-ramps selling roses or carnations. Do they really think single women will roll down their car windows to strange men? Do we really want to hold up traffic while we rummage in a purse or wallet for a dollar?
I’m sick to death of this trend, too. Went to the Appalachian Festival as a field trip with the 4th graders on Friday. It used to be an interesting educational experience where you could learn about the 19th century Appalachian culture and play games like tug-of-war and make clothespin dolls. No more. American capitalism has taken over and now just about every “historian” is selling his wares along with his demonstration. “As I’m demonstrating here, we used to make soap by boiling animal fat and then mixing in lye, which is a chemical by-product of ashes. (Showing a white lump). And here’s the finished product. For only $3, you can buy a bar! Remember, Mother’s Day is this weekend.”
So some hapless mom got to open a lump of unscented lye soap today as a gift from her child, thanks to some unscrupulous salesman.
I don’t care too much about people selling things at stoplights or salons or whatever (I just tell them to fuck off, usually with less decorum), but what drives me completely batshit is when some asshole repetitively bangs on my door selling some crap. Inevitably they do it when I’m either taking a nap or lying around with no clothes on. Until I get the money for my electric barbed wire fence, I’m going to answer people coming to the door, and anyone selling anything, with “fuck you!”
I remember them from when I was a child. I haven’t seen a guy selling Poppies in years. I sure would love to though, because I love those Poppies. I would love to have a whole bunch of them, just because.
Ugh. I would go batshit if someone trying to hawk some crap to me while I was at a salon. Considering most people, like Zette, get salon treatments to relax, a salon owner who permits this to happen is an idiot. Honestly, how many regular salon customers are going to deal with this kind of behavior before they wise up and take their business elsewhere?
Salon owners who permit this deserve to go out of business, IMHO.
Assholes! Get your warm bag of assholes right here!
What flavor are they?
A European thing, perhaps? This happened to me in France, many years ago … actually, looking at my life since then, I think the curse worked pretty bloody well.