No, I'm not anorexic. Where do you get off asking?

The BBQ Pit
1

All right, so I’m skinny. It’s not my fault I have a high metabolism, I’m always hungry and get the shakes if I go without food for more than a few hours. I’m actually within the weight range for my height, though just barely. I’m slender – I like that word better than skinny, which sounds unhealthy.

But I am not anorexic. Or bulimic. Or whatever other eating disorder you can barely pronounce that you think I have. Where do people get off, accusing others of having a disease? How fucking sick is that? Being accused of being sick!

I have nothing but the sincerest sympathy for women, girls and yes, men who suffer from anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders. They have a terrible illness. But I am NOT ill! I’ve talked to several doctors, they all confirmed that I am the picture of health and that, though I could stand to gain a few more pounds, I was not in any danger.

I had an interesting conversation with my English teacher and a classmate one afternoon on this very subject. My classmate said that people asked her if she was anorexic, and that it pissed her off. “It’s not a compliment,” she said, “it’s a disease. I’m not anorexic and even if I was I wouldn’t be proud to be.”

“I know what you mean,” I replied. Are we so warped that being ill is seen as a Good Thing, as long as it allows us to look like Starving Ethiopian Children and therefore conform to idiotic beauty standards? Sometimes humanity just disgusts me.

“The sad thing is,” my classmate goes on to say, “is that you can’t even deny it, because people just think Oh, she’s really anorexic, she’s just in denial. All anorexics are in denial, I saw it on Dateline last week. So if you say you’re not they just believe it’s true even more.”

If we say we aren’t, we’re in denial. We won’t say we are, because we’re not. Must I gnaw my leg off to get out of this trap?

2

Forgive me for being blunt. Get over yourself. You cannot possibly fathom the ostracization (sp?) that an overweight person undergoes on an HOURLY basis. People think you’re “too thin” which is all too common these days, but you are also generally accepted by society as a whole. Your metabolism is fast, OK, what about people who’s metabolism is really slow?

I can honestly say that I have never heard in my entire life " I’d never **** her, she’s too thin". Granted, I, and others prefer women with curves rather than skeleton features, but society is definitley predisposed to catering to “thin” people.

If you were anorexic, I would feel some degree of sympathy for you, however you were not. You might have been born very, very thin, cry me a freakin river! How dare you lament about your “condition”, when people that are genetically predisposed to obesity are cursed to social exile?! Educate your friends about metabolisms, and remember that you don’t have to ask for 2 tickets when you go to the movies, because you can fit in 1 seat.

Those poor thin people, who will help them in their struggle?

3

Dnooman, the word you are looking for is ostracism.

Nichol_Storm, after telling an acquaintance that I had been raised by my stepfather he asked me if I had been sexually abused. I have had total strangers ask me why I am smoking since I’m pregnant or when I’m due. I am slightly overweight. You learn to take comfort in the fact that people who make totally inappropriate comments to virtual strangers usually have more problems than the people that they are commenting on.

4

I don’t know how many times I"ve heard a out-of-shape male friend refer to a well-built muscular guy as a “roider” or “juicer”. Automatically assuming that a dedicated bodybuilder has to be a steroid addict.

5

I know exactly what you mean. Used to happen to me all the time - it’s so frustrating, and so hurtful. I don’t go around commenting on other people’s weight, why the hell do people feel entitled to bitch about mine? I’m not hurting anyone by being skinny, not even me.

Now I just look the person in the eye, raise an eyebrow, and say

“Would you like it if I said you had a disease because of the way you look?”

or

“Is it my turn to make rude comments about your weight now?”

or something similar. Generally shuts them up, unless they go with the “Oh, it was just a joke, lighten up” routine, in which case I mention that jokes are meant to be funny.

It comes across as pretty humourless and stern, but I’ve never had anyone nice say it to me, so I’m not too worried about what they think. Since I’ve started doing it, I’ve never had anyone repeat it to me, and hopefully they’ll think twice about saying it to anyone else.

6

For fuck’s sakes, you don’t HAVE to be overweight to be fucking sick of people making generalizations, about skinny people or otherwise. Yes, being constantly accused of being anorexic is FUCKING ANNOYING. Get over YOURSELF, dnooman. The OP is not saying being skinny is the be all end all, he’s saying that the generalizations that people make are goddamned annoying.

Sounds to me like Keith and miscee have the idea. Most generalizations about body types are annoying and inaccurate.

7

dnoonan: So, just because people are mean to overweight people, that makes it ok to be mean to skinny people?

I have every sympathy for a person who is struggling with body issues, whether the issue is being overweight, or body dismorphia, or whatever. But I’m not going to put up with morons giving me shit just because other people get made fun of too. I’ll stand up for the rights of anyone who’s been ostracised, and I’ll stand up for my own right not to have people talk about me as if I’m diseased, thank you very much.

The OP wasn’t complaining about being skinny, they were complaining about the stupidity and hurtfulness of people. Nice to see that you were so quick to join in on that.

On preview: what Venoma said.

8

Actually I have heard men say that.

My ex and most of his friends prefer women who have asses, boobs and do not have every rib visibile. I am 5’11 and 180 and by their standards I was about the perfect weight. Now he and his friends are big guys, all of them are at least 6’5", so part of their preference in women is based on feeling that ‘little’ women are breakable. At one point, my weight dropped to 165, which was well within the healthy range, but I had people asking me if I needed something to eat and why had I gotten soooo skinny. I was partly flattered and partly annoyed out of my freakin’ mind. My mind doesn’t jump to eating disorders unless 1) the person truly looks like a concentration camp victim or 2) I am around them regularly and there is something about their eating habits/body perception that is off kilter.

9

Know what the irony is? At one point in my life, I had a form of anorexia, and no one ever asked me about it, or bugged me to eat. Odd, huh?

10

I don’t know, but I think there is a HUGE difference in being anorexic and being just slim. By looking at your website, if that is you in the pic, you’re just slim, and that’s healthy. And screw what dnooman thinks, you shouldn’t accept criticism for being slim/slender.

Ya see kids, slim people are proportionate, anorexics are not, anorexics are sick looking and skeletal.

I also would not do a skeletal looking girl, I’d rather make her a sandwhich.

11

Yeah, I hadn’t gotten to the point of being skeletal, but I was thin enough that I was told if I lost any more weight I was going into the hospital and getting put on I.V.'s :eek:

I was into sports at the time, so I had to eat something in order to perform. I only ate enough to stay alive, and cross country training did the rest. (I wasn’t doing this to be “pretty” I wanted to die. I’d been raped, long story.)

I agree with ParentelAdvisory about there being a definite difference between slenderness, and illness. I also agree you shouldn’t have to “take” treatment like that.

You look fine to me, keep your chin up. :slight_smile:

12

These days, it seems like everyone feels free to make stupid personal comments about other people’s appearance.

(Or, worse yet, stupid personal comments to the friends they’re with. Like the time I went into a restaurant with a friend who is blind, and the hostess says to me in a highly audible stage whisper, “Does she want a Braille menu?” My reply? “Why don’t you ask HER? She’s blind, not deaf!” )

Apparently we’ve become such a victimized society that everything has to be blamed on SOMETHING – if you’re too thin or too heavy, you must have an eating disorder; all stepparents are evil child molesters; if you served as an altar boy, of course you were abused by the priest; etc., etc. Plus it’s no longer discourteous to inquire into things that are totally and permanently NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

Miss Manners is right. A shocked, “Well!” is about all the answer that such inquiries deserve.

13

Nichol: Do what I do when some moron asks that. Respond with, “Have you gotten treated for your brain damage yet?”

14

Rather than skinny or slender, try describing yourself as “lithe”. It sounds sexier.

15

Once I went back to my high school several months after graduation, and stopped in the library.

Now, I had been a rather fat kid, and had dropped about 20 or 30 pounds since graduating because I had to climb a mountain to go to cegep. I was still pretty big, no longer overweight, but I still had a belly and a big frame and I was definitely not skinny.

Anyway, the librarian took one look at me and said, “Matt! You’ve lost weight! Are you eating?”

I was confused, so I said “no,” because I know better than to eat in a library.

She looked at me in horror, and I figured it out. “OH! Yes of course, just not right now!”

I left feeling irritated. Does she realize she just bluntly asked if I were anorexic?

16

No, YOU get over yourself!

My mom is very, very thin. She used to get off of the school bus as a child crying because people would make fun of her. Making fun of someone for being thin is just as bad as making fun of someone for being fat.

“You know, if you swallowed a cherry, you’d look pregnant.”

“Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?”

“Are you sure you’re a woman?”

People think it’s okay to make fun of someone for being thin, because obviously, I mean, they aren’t FAT! Everyone wants to be thin!

Some thin people also struggle with health problems-anemia, being underweight, low blood pressure, etc.

Fuck off, asshat.

17

I’ve taken people to task for this before. It’s more online than in real life, though I see my online friends in real life a lot too, so there’s a big overlap (and they know what my figure is like). Some people use ‘anorexic’ as a synonym for skinny. It’s not only wrong to assume that someone skinny is an anorexic, it’s wrong to act as though anorexia is the kind of thing you should be taking the piss out of.

I have VERY often seen women say they wouldn’t go for a skinny woman (I’m gay, btw). ‘who wants to grab those bones eh?’ ‘I’d never touch a skinny woman,’ ‘It’d be like sleeping with a skeleton.’ (That even when the woman in question wasn’t that thin). Few of them would admit to not bing attracted to overweight women, but it’s still acceptable to deride the thin.

It’s not even completely true that the media idolises thin-ness - remember all the vitriol directed at Calista Flockhart? Or Courtney Cox? I think there probably is more bias in the media against overweight people, but they pick on other non-average body types too.

I also remember years ago reading about a woman who had a wasting disease and was constantly harrassed by strangers giving her ‘advice.’ she even lost some friends because they’d had enough of her ‘denial.’ I would imagine that she’s not the only woman with a wasting disease who’s endured this.

18

I have a close friend that is extremely thin due to some medical conditions (none of them eating related). If anyone ever said “She needs a sammich” to me, they’d be eating my fist. Keep your opinions about other people’s weight to yourself. It’s not your concern and it’s rude to comment, whether the person is fat, thin, square, or oblong. Knock it off you rude fucks.

(speaking to the people who actually do this or think it’s OK to say shit like “buy that girl a sandwhich!! Haw haw haw!”

19

[quote]
I can honestly say that I have never heard in my entire life " I’d never **** her, she’s too thin".

[quote]

I saw a pretty young lady at the ball game the other day and I could only think that something was seriously wrong with her. She was well beyond being “thin”.

She looked so sad and tired.

I was hoping that if she was ill that she would recover from whatever malady that was afflicting her and causing her to look so skeletal.

It was really sad… it wasn’t at all attractive.

I WOULDN’T **** HER.

dnooman… now you can say you’ve heard it… or at least, read it. Keep reading.

I took a shitload of abuse throughout my younger years because I’m “lithe”. People telling me to eat, people telling me that I was too skinny, etc. etc. etc.

Because I’m a GUY I also took a great deal of harassment from other guys who thought my lack of size and weight somehow meant that I was an easy target for physical abuse.

I learned how to defend myself at a very early age because the bullies would always pick me out.

As an adult, I encountered the same problems except it was usually with drunken assholes who felt they could take out their bad day on me.

There are many health problems associated with being chronically underweight just as there are health problems associated with being chronically overweight.

If you find yourself in either category, you should take whatever measures needed to correct your siuation.

I’m hypoglycemic and have the metabolism of a shrew so for me, it involves eating enough for nearly two normal people over the course of a day and incorporating regular healthy snacks so that I don’t go into hypoglycemic shock.

I’ve had overweight people tell me “I’m so lucky” to be thin.

Yeah… sure… if you consider not being able to maintain normal blood sugar levels as “lucky” or if you consider going into hypoglycemic shock to be a fun way to spend a few hours. Or having people want to kick your ass because you look like an easy mark.

It’s loads of fun.

20

I dunno. I’m pretty fat (5’3", over 200 lbs.) and I don’t live in “social exile” Maybe it’s your personality, not your waistline.