Emaciated heroin addicts OR One for the thin people

The BBQ Pit
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I’m sure this has been mentioned before on the boards, probably even ranted about. I know I’ve given my thoughts on being thin a few times. I’d just like to say that some of the jokes (including ones I’ve seen here) are really about as tired as “All Your Base Are Belong To Us.”

Eat a hamburger!

Thin people do eat, they really do. I think the number of thin people who have actually eaten a hamburger and kept it down, on a regular basis, if one is being intellectually honest is on par with a lot of the other body types.

I’d rather not single a Doper out, though I know a link is customary, but I do feel that sometimes the skinny bashing here is taken a bit too far. A comment was made recently about a person dressed horribly at the Golden Globes (I didn’t like the dress either), but wasn’t left there. The person’s body was commented upon as emaciated and it was implied that said dress-wearer should be ashamed of her body.

Why is that? Why is being thin something to be less proud of than being any other body type? I realize that some people might feel resentful of the Hollywood image from the media bombardment. It never feels good IMO to be told that you are not okay, or that there is something wrong with your body. I think this has created a backlash on thin people, and maybe some people think this is deserved.

IMO, it is the media that the resentment should be directed toward, if one feels the need to lay blame. I think I could also lay some blame at my own feet for the times I’ve bought into it. I felt pretty badly for Calista Flockhart at the time, she still seems to be an active subject for potshots, but this seems to be lessening somewhat. For all the venom directed toward her, I’d have thought she was molesting kittens. I’m guessing the attention has died down more from it being a dead horse, rather than any type of understanding or acceptance.

The worst part to me is, I think there are more similarities between being underweight and overweight than differences. The “worst part” comes in when, with all those similarities the opportunity for understanding seems squandered. I don’t think either group holds a monopoly on insults received, assumptions made by strangers, difficulties in finding well fitting clothes, or the pain that is sometimes associated with these things.

I realize that some underweight people have an eating disorder, use heroin or other drugs, suffer from depression, starve themselves on purpose or are otherwise just plain unhealthy. I also realize that not everyone finds thin attractive, and don’t expect them to.

But I also realize that this is a broad brush to be painting all thin people with. For those of you who think skinny people should just chalk it up to jealousy and move on, I agree that that may be the case. I also think that somewhere in there is room for common respect of others’ feelings.

Ever hear? “She has such a cute face, if she only lost a few pounds…”

Well, there’s also, “She’d be so cute if she just gained 10 pounds.”

Casual observations, surely, no life-altering amount of gutwrenching pain involved with those casual remarks. It’s the day after day of them, the silent disapproval and unsaid message that you are not okay as you are. Why bother even making the comment? Is anyone benefitting?

I’ve been guilty of rude comments myself, much as I’d like it to be otherwise, one reason I don’t think it’s necessary to fingerpoint with a link. I realize this isn’t some huge revelation on my part, and don’t expect it to be for others. I do hope however, that people will give more thought to their comments about others.

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Well said.

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Good post.

I think a common misconception is that while it’s difficult for an overweight person to lose the weight, underweight people can gain weight whenever they want to. There is definitely a mentality of “don’t complain about being skinny, go have a Big Mac!” It’s an idiotic way of thinking, of course.

I have a friend who is struggling to top 100 pounds. She is incredibly self-conscious and feels sickly and unfeminine. At the age of 21 she is commonly mistaken for a young teenager. Comments from strangers and acquaintances alike telling her to “put on a few pounds,” “stop throwing up your dinner, ha ha ha,” etc., do absolutely NOTHING to ease her mind.

It is just as insensitive and bigoted to call a very slender person (with no eating disorder) “anorexic” as it is to refer to an overweight person as a “whale” or any other such unflattering term.

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First similarity I can think of: Metabolism.

Until my mid-twenties, my metabolism was so high that my weight was around 104lbs (I’m 5’4"ish, so not tremendously underweight). With very narrow hips however, I looked tiny. The bonus of a very high metabolism was that as a kid I’d go to the nurses office at school, she’d take my temperature and send me home with a fever (only a degree or so above “normal”). My mom put an end to that though once she figured out that I was always a degree or so warmer than every body else. :mad: Mean, mommy! Sending me back to school and ruining my fancy go-home-early trick!

scablet If you’re friend is only 21, she may find that her metabolism slows down a little after 25. I can maintain 114 lbs now but had to work really hard to create a diet that was high enough in protein, carbs and other healthy stuff to maintain a healthy weight well into my 20s. I still get carded when I buy alcohol. The drinking age here is 19, I’m thirty! Like you’re friend, I can still be mistaken for a teenager, but no where near as often as three years ago. The worst, someone thought I was my SO’s daughter. My SO nearly died on the spot!

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Skinny people are the last “safe” group for teasing and discrimination. :slight_smile:

Seriously though, I know what you mean. I’m the only skinny person in my work environment, which means people think it’s alright to remark about my flat chest and butt all the time. For the longest time, the long-running joke in the lab was that I never eat anything, which is categorically untrue (I’m actually always the first person who announces that it’s time for lunch). But the perception used to be that I was one of those anorexic types. Even though I’m hardly anorexic! If they could only see the cellulite on my booty and thighs they would know better!

The belief is that skinny people choose their size, and for many skinny people, this is true. So because many choose it, the logic is that they deserve the ridicule they get for showing their emaciated frames in public. Michael Jackson and Joan Rivers wouldn’t get nearly as much heat that they do if their faces looked like that naturally. The same goes for the Calista Flockharts of the world. However, we forget that many Calista Flockharts (and maybe the Calista herself) can’t help that they are so thin. Just like many Rosie O’Donalds can’t help that they are so big.

I don’t think the laying off of skinny people will happen anytime soon, though.

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Why no one’s gonna be laying off skinny people anytime soon:

“You can’t be too rich or too thin.”

Discuss.

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I’ve been thin all my life, and people don’t think twice about commenting on it. Try that with an overweight person, and you’re likely to get punched!

My dad made a comment that I looked good (I’ve gained about 15 lbs over the last 12 or so years) and my overweight sister jumped all over him saying that he perpetuates unhealthy attitudes in women. I am NOT too thin, by a long shot. But my sister could easily stand to lose 75 lbs or more. She has a blood clot, which from the reading I’ve done, seems to happen more frequently to heavy people.

Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but she strikes me as a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

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Is this equation of “thin=healthy” that riles people like me up, when I know full well so many of them don’t exercise half as much as I do. I have to exercise like a wrestler just to prevent massive weight gain, while some of the skinny ones could just lounge around all day, eat twice as much as I do, with a gallon of ice cream and not gain a pound. Yet they still call ME unhealthy!!

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Their is also the myth that the way thin people “choose” to be thin is by depriving themselves of the enjoyment of some foods. Eg. Having dinner at a friend’s parents’ house, I overheard his mom asking him whether or not she should offer me dessert because she was afraid of offending me.

And, apparently, I’ve offended others…

Note: being the owner of a small tummy and high metabolism, I just can not eat really large portions. My body is physically too small to accomodate the same amount of food that my six-foot, body-builder ex-boyfriend could pack away. Like my little Toyota can not carry as many passengers as your SUV. Understand?

I offended a dinner host once because I could not finish the gigantic portion that was graciously served to me. No matter how much I was enjoying the fine meal, there was just no space left. The host was angry that on a special occasion I was still “adhereing to my diet and sacrificing my enjoyment” and I was “being ridiculous” because I was “plenty skinny enough and it wouldn’t hurt to enjoy a full meal for once!”

I’ve seen the same attitude with young children who are served adult portions that far exceed their dietary demands and yet are expected to finish them.

My current SO used to work long, 18-hour days during which she was on her feet the entire time and often carrying heavy things. Her then-girlfriend accused her of being “anti-feminist” by “forcing herself to be so thin.”

Question: Do thin en experience this as well? Like the Jeremy Irons of the world?

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I agree completely, it really pisses me off. People still feel justified telling people who are either too fat or too thin what they should eat. Does the world really need more ways to make people feel bad about themselves?

Maybe I’m a glutton, maybe I’m anorexic. Maybe I have thyroid problems or a super-fast metabolism. MAYBE I’M HAPPY WITH THE WAY I LOOK !! Who the hell are you to criticize that? No matter what, my metabolism is nobody else’s business. Why can’t we try to make each other feel good about ourselves?

Sheesh.

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I agree, that generally it’s bad form to comment on what a person should or should not eat unless they specifically ask you for your opinion and provide you with all the background you need to answer honestly.

Eg. If someone wants to build muscle and asks you “what should I eat to help me build up?”

If no one has specifically asked for your opinion, muzzle it! The same host who berated me for dieting (even though I wasn’t) also berated another acquaintance for “dieting when she was already so skinny”. Major faux pas – in her case, the weight lost was due to radiation therapy which was zapping well over 2000 calories a session.

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You know, I hate to point this out, but … maybe you’d be able to stick to a weight-gain diet more easily if you ate fewer crayons and left room for more actual food.

(G,D, & R)

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But… I like the waxy goodness…

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BTW – My diet is now adjusted for the “panda phase.” My mother’s side of the family follows exactly the same path: Skinny as a rake until you hit about 25, then you morph into a panda bear. Makes for a really cute family.

Everyone, for hundreds of years (and I mean that – our family can be traced back to the 1530s) has been the same. The diet rarely changes – tortillas, beans, rice and a little bit of veggies and meat. The kids, teens and young adults are all built like sticks, then around 30-40, you get your round head and belly.

I swear to God, family reunions look like their populated by Ernie and Bert clones! Diet and overall health stays constant though. So if you were a stick than could run 10 miles a day, then you’ll become a Pooh Bear that can still run 10 miles a day.

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Wow, lot’s of great responses already. This was my first rant, if one could call it that, in the Pit so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I agree that there is a misconception about thin people being able to easily gain weight if they only wanted to.

My family also has body types similar to mine, it’s somehow nice to know that it’s not just me. I think you are right Monstro, the skinny bashing won’t end anytime soon, and in the big scheme of things, I can think of more important matters. It’s nice to be able to come here though, and find more people with similar experiences. Your opening line gave me a chuckle, too.

Eats_Crayons, your tales of being accused of dieting got a wry smile from me, I can certainly relate. I’m a diet soda drinker, so that’s always easy fodder. I’ve also had some pretty uncomfortable grilling sessions from people trying to police my eating habits. I keep waiting for them to break out eye-holder-openers (a la Clockwork) and force me to watch Nick Stellino (makes yummy Italian food on PBS) episodes back to back.

I’m sorry to hear you have been accused of being unhealthy capacitor, instead of being recognized for your efforts. I don’t believe there is only one body type that = healthy, and hope that wasn’t the message you got out of my OP.

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I have always hated how people get jumped on for insulting a large person’s weight, but skinny people are fair game.

Another thing that people forget, is that some “skinny” people have to stay on a diet, not because they want to get smaller, but because they want to maintain their weight. Or because they’re simply trying to eat healthy.

It can suck to be small, it can suck to be large, it can suck to be average size. And it’s not always easy to change one’s size. People should think about that before they toss out the anorexia jokes. (Jeez, how can you joke about something like anorexia anyway?)

– Dragonblink, 5’7", 160, and currently drinking a diet Vanilla Coke.

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I have to comment here, although I feel a bit like I’m treading on thin ice with all you thin folk. :slight_smile: I didn’t read the Golden Globe thread, but I’m quite aware of the type of comments you are referring to. Frankly, I’ll admit to having made one or two of them myself in the past. To be clear–I would never comment on a stranger’s size to their face, and for the most part I don’t even notice. BUT–when it comes to celebrities, it is often all-too-apparent that ridiculous extremes are being undertaken in order to lose more and more weight.
Check out an early episode of Friends–Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox are both very trim and very lovely. Compare that to today, when they’re each about 15-20 lbs. lighter (estimating, I haven’t peeked into their bathroom while they’re on the scale). Likewise, Sarah Michelle Gellar on Buffy. She’s practically skin and bones when compared to the first couple seasons when she was still very petite, but curvy as well. Calista gets cited a lot, but in all honestly I don’t consider her a culprit because I’ve never seen her at any other size. She seems to simply be naturally thin, which is completely fine. But notice how the other women on Ally shrank over the course of the series. As a matter of fact, I remember reading that one of the reasons Courtney Thorne Smith left the show was because she was feeling increasing pressure to slim down even further–and if she was over a size 6 to begin with I’ll eat my own panties.
That’s what I have a problem with. Not naturally thin people, or naturally slender ones. It’s the women who purposely work to achieve an “emaciated” look. What was wrong with their size 4-6 body that they felt the need to chip themselves down to a 1? Not only is it unattractive, IMO, it also perpetuates an unhealthy stereotype that they–as women and, god help us all, role models–should be all too aware of.

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I appreciate your tact Bella. I do see your point about celebrities possibly being fair game. I still find myself bothered by the amount of venom in the attacks though. I’d prefer if some of that venom was directed toward one of the sources you mentioned, like the people behind the pressure which caused Courtney to leave the show.

As far as the part you have a problem with, women who purposefully work to acheive an emaciated look, I agree this can be a cause for concern. My point was that I feel a lot of other thin people are getting painted into that category as well. I mean, there has to be a naturally thin celebrity out there, they can’t all be drugging and puking their way to thinness. I realize you aren’t implying that, I noted the comment about Calista. Even bashing celebrities with these observations in mind, I think some of them must be unfairly painted as well.

Why I mentioned Calista, besides the obvious reason of her being a scapegoat, was her guest host spot on SNL a while ago. She even made the joke herself, “Eat a hamburger already” in her monologue and while I think it’s great she can joke, she looked sad and forced when she said it, and I felt pretty sad seeing it. I stated that I don’t expect things to change anytime soon (as have others), but it’s nice for me to talk about it anyway.

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As well you should. I think you made a lot of good points, and I really feel for those who have to put up with rude comments simply because of their genetics. I’d certainly be upset by snarky comments about my ample curves–and chances are it’d be easier for me to lose them than it would be for many thin folks to gain some.
I was just trying to point out that not everyone who dissaproves of the current crop of incredibly shrinking celebrities necessarily has anything against the naturally thin. (Slightly jealous of how you look in a bikini maybe, but that’s a whole 'nother story. ;))

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Very well put, Belladonna.

Compare this picture from 95 to how she looked last night. She’s always been a thin person, but last night she looked scary.