While we’re on the subject of commercials that annoy, WTF is up with Toyota encouraging people to destroy their vehicles so they can go buy a new Toyota? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, i.e. insurance fraud.
Look, twithopper. You’ve just parked your gigantic SUV in front of the door at the patient discharge area. I get that the patient discharge lot is small, crowded, and the slots are a bit small for your land cruiser. But that doesn’t give you the right to fucking sit there for twenty minutes blocking the covered exit from the hospital for you, know, discharged patients! Move the car you self-absorbed witch. If you really want to hover there, and not have to let your loved ones suffer an extra second of what’s really a balmy Rochester winter day - go around in a circle and wait just a little further back in the circle, where you can still see the door.
There’s really no fucking reason in the world that you have to fucking sit there while a 72 yo post-neurosurgery patient (with coordination problems) has to try standing on fucking ice because you’re not willing to move an inch from your privileged spot.
(If anyone thinks it was just me thinking dark thoughts about the woman I’m pitting, you should have heard what the guy from Patient Transport, bringing my father down, had to say.)
Dear fancy-pants toilet manufacturer. When you take the time to design, patent, and produce a snazzy vacuum assisted 1.6L crapper, get recommended by Consumer Reports, and subsequently have to ramp up production, please take the time to also ramp up your quality assurance program. I did not enjoy buying and installing your unit, only to find that it requires a Shop-vac hooked up to the vacuum line in order to flush properly. Apparently the problem is slumping within the channels of the ceramic base, or at least that’s what the online sources say. Such problems are not consumer repairable, so I took your piece of shit back, and spent $60 more on another manufacturer’s more primitive model with an extra big tank-hole. That one works. Fuck you for wasting my time.
Squink, we did what we thought was the environmentally-conscious thing when we replaced our downstairs toilet with a low-flow one, and now we have a constantly dirty toilet (the water level is so low that anything solid hitting the side of the bowl just dries there - it’s just lovely). Yecch.
OK, how hard is it to make a bottle of shampoo, conditioner, hair gel or what have you that has a flat topped-cap so when it starts getting low I an store it UPSIDE-DOWN. That way, the stuff i need is already near the cap and I don’t have to resort to violently shaking the bottle. I’m lookin’ at you J Crew. (How’s that for a minor rant)
Dear Mom and Dad,
Lottery tickets are a tax on the stupid! You are both smart, well-educated people. Why on earth are you wasting your money on the things? 
I think it was because of the all-caps (yeah, let’s go with that), but I read “KUCHINICH” as, roughly, “cooch ‘n’ itch” and spent a good minute wondering why anyone would hold up such a sign along a parade route.
On the plus side, I haven’t laughed so hard in days. My god, I’m dumb as a sack of hammers sometimes.
To be fair, they either went away or they were encouraged to find another place to stand, because I couldn’t see them later in the telecast. I was just annoyed that at least one political group used a non-political event to advertise.
Robin
If I’m missing something, someone please staighten me out, but-
I just got some rolls of pennies from the bank, which the bank had gotten from customers- why the fuck do they have the person who trades them in write their phone number on the damn roll? What the hell is that going to do, if it turns out there’s only 49 in the roll, or someone has stuck a few dimes in the middle of the pennies? What the hell does a phone number do, assuming its correct (or do they call and verify the number before you are allowed to leave)? No name by the way, like that would matter, just number? Do they call the number if it turns out there are 50 blank circles of zinc inside? Uh, hello are you the guy who turned in some fake pennies? No, ok bye? Or do they threaten you with police involvement if you don’t come in with the missing penny? Sheesh! And one of them was written by a 90 year old arthiritc it seemed, because I couldn’t read any of the numbers, now really what good was that- just out to have some fun with the elderly?
Hmmm, interesting. I always used to write my account number on my penny rolls. I know the bank counted them, though: I once was debited 3¢ for a couple of mis-counted rolls.
My Mini-Rant: the growing trend of skateboarding in shopping center parking lots during normal business hours. I can see no other reason for it than just to piss people off.
I could do without the cough I’ve had for the last few days. Particularly because it’s one of those stupid dry coughs that feels like I’m horking up pieces of lung. I don’t feel congested, but I’m getting pulled muscles from the force of the coughing fits. Not to mention the loss of sleep…
If it’s what’s going around here, the nasty cold part will soon follow.
In my younger days, the sore throat and coughing was always the last stage of a cold for me. I’d start off with a running nose and sneezing, then my head would feel like someone was trying to pump it up. Then it would settle into my throat, sometimes to the point of laryngitis.
I’ve been fighting colds since November; it seems like every time I think I’m getting better something else starts up. I’ve seeing my doctor in two weeks for a check-up, and I’m definitely going to talk to him about this.
To my wife’s right front tire,
Of all the times you could go flat, you choose a 14 degree morning? My hands officially hate you.
Sincerely,
fachverfriert
To my dear uterus,
It’s been nearly eight weeks since you last saw the baby. Stop with the fucking bleeding already! You’re making me feel like shit. Just be done. Bitch.
Love,
Me.
I’m already sick of,“I’m (insert candidate’s name),and I approved this message.”
Chances are, the candidate really didn’t.
I’d love to hear something along the lines of, “I’m Joe Candidate. My aides shove tons of crap in front of me for my signature every day that I don’t bother to read. Frequently, they tell me that I haven’t time to read them and that they’re all boilerplate,anyway. The authorization for this ad is,so I’m told, in yesterday’s pile of papers. But who really knows?”
To my uterus: Please stop with the hormonal migraine. It’s been 4 days of it coming and going.
I thank you.
First day off since Xmas, and I’ve gotten sick from leftover Chinese food, a migraine, and to top it off, I was woken up by a friggin focal seizure. Thanks a lot, goddamit.
To my wonderful co-workers:
I know this job sucks. I know it’s stressful and I understand how easy it is to hate it here. I suffer from all these same symptoms. And I understand, also, how one worker’s continual screw ups do nothing but make the rest of us look very, very bad. However. Screaming and cussing and threatening violence to each other while standing approximately five feet behind me is so not appreciated. I realize that it’s very difficult to maintain a professional attitude while in this hell-hole, but at the very least please attempt to not act like children. Threatening to kick someone’s ass is not going to help and it’s giving me a headache. Thank you.
Sonofabitch!
I’m broke. Payday is tomorrow. Last week, on Friday the office closed early so I didn’t take a lunch. I left my frozen dinner in the fridge. We were closed Monday and Tuesday. So I look for my dinner and it’s gone. Probably thrown out by the cleaning people.
So no lunch for me today.
I hate my current financial situation. It is going to suck for at least 3-4 months.