I’ve been wondering if it’s this scam, or the one where a FedEx driver shows up in the next few business days with return address labels that are actually printed with a residential address instead of Apple’s warehouse address.
Apple did agree to mail the return labels to me, so I guess they really want it back after all.
I second this enthusiastically 
That said, I still haven’t turned on the heat yet because it hasn’t been cold enough to do so. That’s also fine by me.
Reading the first quote I thought, yes, at age 71 I also bless every 70+ day. Then I read about heat. Oh. Never Mind.
Here’s what I hate, a lot -
It’s a cold and rainy sunday and you’ve got no plans except to luxuriate in your perfect quiet little funk at home, just soothing yourself with coffee, contemplating a comforting dinner… and then the fucking SUN starts to peak through the clouds of an otherwise perfectly gray day.
Fuck off, SUN; And take the rest of the week off while you’re at it.
So now one or two Dopers have a new term for anti-Clinton progressives who say “Bernie would have won!” Yep, we’re now not just “Bernie Bros,” but “Lost-Causers.” Ironically enough, as if the Clintons weren’t chasing their own lost cause for a decade. But hey, it lets them pretend we’re the racist white folks in the party. Yuh-huh.
Anyway, I’m gratified to see that it only took them a year and a half to find a non-gendered insult for progressives. Maybe the centrists, if they work hard, will one day be as clever as the mulberry tree in my back yard.
Found not only one, but two winter coats today. It was great!
Then I missed the front stoop, bringing stuff inside.
Avulsion fracture and severe sprain of my left ankle.
Criminey.
Just put the original box out on your porch rigged with exploding dog poo when it’s opened and wait for it to disappear.
You have the worst luck! I hope you can sit and rest that ankle for a while!
We got a mystery package – a tactical flashlight. The kind advertised to insomniacs watching Classic TV: "Crime has no chance against your Retina-Frying MachoLight™…"
Someone spoofed our CC to send US a flashlight… huh? When we looked it up and saw it was worth $60, we contacted the company, and they promised to send a return box. But never did.
I’m acting all macho now as I search for dog poop after dark… using [announcer voice] the same equipment Seal Team Six uses to pick up after their dogs!
Some time ago I ordered a 1/32" slitting saw blade from Amazon, a very specific machinist’s tool, and they sent me…a tube of Tom’s of Maine toothpaste.
Sure, the saw blade can easily be confused for a tube of toothpaste, but I would expect them to keep track of these things a little better.
They quickly shipped a new blade and told me I could keep the toothpaste. I used it, but wasn’t impressed.
I just want to say I think “Exploding Dog Poo” would make a great band name.
Last year I ordered a Kindle and they sent me a ceramic oil infuser thing. I’m still not sure what it did. They wanted it back, but since they put the address label directly on the product box, I’m not sure what they could do with it. Maybe they sold it with my name on it. Whatever. I haven’t gotten visits from oil diffuser junkies or anything.
What RPM were you running the toothpaste at? Remember, for minty goodness it’s Speed/Saw Dia. x 4 = RPM
I have an efficient Amazon story: I ordered a discounted iTunes gift card from them last night, selected two-day shipping and saw that Amazon has a pickup office at the University. So I picked that option. That was midnight-ish.
I was biking past campus this morning and stopped in on a whim, and there was a padded envelope with my name on it (and the gift card, no ceramics or toothpaste). Nine hours after I’d ordered it.
My rapid delivery story from Newegg–needed 3 24 port switches for a business that was mission critical. The panicked phone calls started at 0430, the order was made at 0630, we were swapping cables at 1300.
Wormhole delivery system?
I saw my first house with its Christmas lights lit tonight. No, dammit, NO!
Oh, hell yeah, the sales are starting. The Xmas specials are being advertised, if I didn’t already hate the holidays, I’d start. For crissakes it was 82° in my locale today. It might cool off tomarrow to 77°.aaaacccckkkk
Heat or not heat, I’d gladly take any 70+ day I can get. My gradual aversion to cold is legendary in these parts. Unfortunately my husband is the exact opposite. Plus we have a Siberian husky who stays inside the minute the thermometer hits 60F.
I used to laugh at my mother whenever she complained about the cold. Now I get it.
The Hallmark channels – yes, there’s TWO of the damn things – have been all-the-time sappy Christmas movies for weeks now.
And they’re all weirdly the same movies – same five or six women are always the leads, with a plasticky handsome male love interest, who ends up falling in love with the quirky female lead for no particular reason and happily ever after Santa cute kids aww. shudder
I’ve started selling items (and being interested in hobbies) from very disparate areas of life, so I’ve joined a variety of Facebook groups lately. So I’m on FB a lot now. Which means seeing a whole new facet of humanity.
My comments or IMHO in parens…
This morning, my feed gave me these gems:
*Prayers!!! for the Texas shootings!
(They were already in church, and one of the dead is the pastor’s daughter. I don’t think a lack of prayer is the problem here.)
*“My bantam chicken laid her first eggs OMG so excited! Now what, we don’t really eat eggs.”
(WTF do u have chickens for, bantams aren’t really good eats why the fuck are you even bothering)
" HI Weeding out our member list, type “Agree” to stay in this group."
(WTF ferrealz? I started a separate thread for this one, gotta wander over & see what you Dopers think.)
“Came home from a trip, there’s all these dead flies on one single windowsill. Why?”
First response is about how flies lay eggs in dead rodents & that makes flies show up suddenly in your house all in one place.
(Ok but … this is a Plant I.D. group. Y’all smokin’ something from one of THOSE plant groups?)
“Ok but that TX shooter, see how he was brought down? Huh? Man, good thing the Good Guy had a gun too.”
(Ohhhhhh jeebus. Yes, let’s give everyone a gun, that’s TOTES the best solution.)
tip-tapping away by phone, but why would you care?
Oh!! I forgot the kicker! I’m selling some plants for $3 … locals can come pick up, out-of-town/state need to send SASE or Paypal a buck or 2 extra for postage.
One lady a few states over PayPals the three bucks, after a cpl days I ask nicely if there’s an SASE or if she’d like to pay for shipping separately … now we’re in this weird messaging spat and I guess she thought I was covering shipping costs or else I’m the world’s biggest bitch depending who’s asked.
tip-tapping away by phone, but why would you care?