Inspired by the name of one of our guinea pigs (Azatoth the crawling horror, soul devorer, affectionally known as “toto”) , my wife and I have a new hobby, renaming ominous Lovecraftian (and other authors) titles by inserting Guinea Pigs, here are some examples:
Call of the Guinea Pig.
The Guinea Pig over Insmouth.
The Lurking Guinea Pig.
The Guinea Pig out of Space.
Is this as funny as I think or is it one of those, “you had to be there” things?
I learned long ago that all Metallica songs can be easily rewritten to reference guinea pigs, such as Enter Sandman:
Enter Sandpig (not copyrighted, mods)
Feed your pig, little one
Dont forget, my son
To give food to each one
I throw food in, purr within
Keep them free from squeaks
'Til the Sandpig he comes
Sleep with both eyes open
Gripping their litter tight
Exit squeaks, enter food
Pet their fur
We’re off to make the cavy purr
Something’s on, the fridge light
Heavy pigs tonight
And they are brown and white
Dreams of cukes, dreams of lettuce
Dreams of tomatoes
And of things they can bite
Sleep with both eyes open
Gripping their litter tight
Exit squeaks, enter food
Pet their fur
We’re off to make the cavy purr
Now I lay me down to sleep
Gave the pigs some food to eat
If they squeak before I wake
Give the pigs some hay to take
Hush, little baby, don’t say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It’s just the pigs next to your bed
Squeaking loud until they’re fed
Exit squeaks, enter food
Popcorn land
Exit squeaks, enter food
Pet their fur
We’re off to make the cavy purr
I Want to Hold Your Guinea Pig
Do You Want to Know a Guinea Pig?
I’m Happy Just to Dance with a Guinea Pig
She’s a Guinea Pig
You’ve Got to Hide Your Guinea Pig Away
Norwegian Wood Chips (This Guinea Pig Has Flown)
Yellow Guinea Pig
And Your Guinea Pig Can Sing
Guinea Pig Fields Forever
With a Little Help from My Guinea Pigs
The Guinea Pig on the Hill
I Am the Guinea Pig
Guinea Pigs in the USSR
Maxwell’s Silver Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig’s Garden
…and the famous medley:
You Never Give Me Your Guinea Pigs
Guinea Pig King
Mean Mr. Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig Pam
Guinea Pigs Came in Through the Bathroom Window
Golden Guinea Pigs
Carry that Guinea Pig
Guinea Pig’s End
“Her guinea pig’s a pretty good pig, but she doesn’t have a lot to say…”
