I just want to say, I did literally burst out laughing when I read that. Superb. And yes. Alessan’s dad rules.
Had another of us been in the room, s/he would have responded, “Don’t bother, they’re here.”
Above or “There must be clowns”… I would have laughed but I remember that song well.
So where are they?
They’ll be along. Maybe next year.
I was in the hospital a few years ago and my roommate was a somewhat cranky elderly gentlemen. One morning, the nurse was making her initial rounds and the old gent asked her for a cup of coffee. She politely replied there was no fresh coffee at the nurses’ station, and since she had just started her shift, she had to check in on all of her patients first, but if he would be patient, she would make a pot of coffee and bring him a cup as soon as she was able. He then said, “I want to check out.” Without missing a beat, she replied, “This is the Hotel California. You can check out, but you can’t leave.”
For what it was worth, although it went completely over the old man’s head, I appreciated it.
When someone tells me about a copier that has a paper jam, I say:
“I always put paper jam on my pencil muffins.”
Blank stares.
Cricket sounds.
“What??”
Two pages and no one has mentioned that this show is running on Broadway right now? For those of you who don’t know it (it’s called A Little Night Music), Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angela Lansbury are in it through June 20, so if you’re in the New York area, check it out.
Heh.
We were at dinner tonight at a place that calls your ticket number when your dinner is ready.
Our ticket was #400. By the time it was called, I’d finished the first of three margaritas I allot myself for every other Saturday night, so I sent my husband up to get me another. (Yes, my life IS that sad, and I am that much of a control freak.)
The waiter yelled, “404! Number 404!” and my husband deadpanned, “Sorry, dinner not found.”
Nobody got it. Nobody. I heard it because I was sitting very close and I laughed so hard people stared at me.
Then we spent a while quoting the old 404 poem that went around back in the day (“Give me back my free hardcore!”).
Good times. I married the perfect guy for me, apparently. 
Since we’re going there, an 80th-year tribute to Sondheim is also up at Studio 54, featuring videotape of him talking about his career and Barbara Cook, Tom Wopat, Vanessa Williams, Norm Lewis, Leslie Kritzer, Euan Morton, Erin Mackey, and Matthew Scott singing his songs as illustration/counterpoint.
Another one that got the Simpsons reference but not the original.
Now that’s what I call a big top . . .